FEAR OF FONDNESS

Chapter 2 THE INTERNAL PAIN

Wassal's pov:

Since leaving her house, not a single second had passed without her crossing my mind. I hate it when she takes control like this, the way she effortlessly consumes my every waking moment. What was wrong with my mind? Why did she always have to invade my thoughts like this?

I found myself continuously drawn to her at the party, unable to tear my gaze away. No matter how hard I tried to divert my attention, my eyes always seemed to gravitate back to her. Thoughts of her swirled in my mind, leaving me pondering what made her so special that I couldn't look away. It was as if she possessed an inexplicable magnetism, pulling me in with an irresistible force that left me unable to resist her allure.

Every time I promised myself that I wouldn't spare her a single glance, but the moment she appeared before me, everything else faded away. She looked especially stunning tonight... maybe her beauty was enhanced by the glow of her sixteenth birthday...She was like a shining star .......a shining star in darkest ni_

But before I could think too much about her, Mustafa's call interrupted my reverie. This man always had the worst call time. "Hello, Assalam-o-Alaikum," I said.

"Walaikum Assalaaaaaam," he drawled, elongating the greeting. I could practically hear the teasing smirk in his voice. "O bhai! han hamain pata hai k bhabi ki importance hum say zyada hai likn is ka mutlb ye tu nahi k banda apnay doston ki call bhi na sunay"(Oh brother, we know that sister-in-law is more important than us but that doesn't mean that you can't even answer your friend's calls now)

I sighed at his usual comments. I don't know where did he got the guess that I liked her. "Firstly, she's not your sister-in-law, and secondly, I was sleeping, so I didn't hear the call," I defended.

"bhai wo bahana laga jis ka yaqeen bhi ay .bhabi k ghar say any k baad tu teri kai raaton ki neend wesay hi ur jati hai,"(Brother, give me a reason I could believe. Whenever you visit sister-in-law's house, your sleep escapes you for many nights) He uttered in his tone laced with playful skepticism. I sighed, grappling for an explanation that would satisfy his probing curiosity. "It's not about her," I began, my words hesitant as I searched for a plausible excuse. "It's just... the change of environment."

 "Different surroundings can disrupt your sleep patterns?" he taunted.

"Yeah! sometimes." Deep down, I knew he wasn't entirely wrong. Ever since visiting her house, sleep had become elusive, haunted by thoughts of her that refused to be silenced. She had a quiet effect on me. "O, brother, where are you lost? Aren't you out of sister-in-law's dream yet? " His voice pierced my thoughts again.  "Yeah, speak up, I'm listening," I said, leaning in closer to the phone. "Well, I told you about the hunt last time. We've planned it, and we're going tomorrow," he explained casually, his words sending a jolt of shock through me.

"What! You said we would leave next month," I almost yelled. I already had a lot to do. As I agreed, Baba to join him in his next conference this week, but this guy won't understand anything. "Ah, yeah. We were going next month, but now we have a little change in plan. So we're going tomorrow," he replied, his tone steady by my reaction.

"Right, and you didn't even care to ask me?" I scoffed, trying to wrap my head around the sudden shift. "Yep, actually I didn't think of it as necessary," he said in his usual audacity. Only four of these swines can have the audacity to be this casual with me.

"Right! So we must leave in the morning and you must have known that it's already 1 o'clock," I pointed out, feeling a pang of annoyance at the late hour.

"Yeah," he admitted carelessly.

"Then goto your fuckin bed and let me take a breath of peace too!!" I exclaimed, frustratedly.

But he just laughed on the other side and remarked. "Okay, bro, just go to sleep and have sweet dreams about Bhabi."

"Shut up," I grumbled at his persistent teasing before hanging up the phone, leaving me alone with my thoughts and a lingering sense of uncertainty about the upcoming hunt. 

I am always excited about hunting. It was one of my favorite hobbies. The main and most thrilling thing about it is catching, the way on silently knows other positions and at the right time he targets his prey. It's a skill, but also an art at the same time. As the one having an interest in a field can not be compared to one without it. But there is also another reason I prefer hunting, and it is that it's away from this headache, called my house. The more time I spent out, the more I felt. And the more I stay in this mess, the more it gets on my nerves.

As I lay in bed, trying to sleep, her soft chuckling voice lingered in my mind like an unwelcome guest. Her eyes, her smile, her voice—everything about her demanded attention, refusing to be ignored. I hated sweets, but just for her, just for her! I ate that bite. Her expressions were confused and surprised, though, which I enjoyed. 

I like it when her golden brown eyes went wide with surprise, making them even more beautiful. But amidst this, the thought of not having her beside me made my heart clench. Frustration gnawed at me as I tossed and turned, unable to escape the grip she held over my thoughts. 

I don't love her, I don't! But...then what is it that I feel when she is around? It's been years, and still I am unable to understand this phenomenon, this effect she has on me. And how this seems to be, she is also unaware of this charm.

With a sigh of resignation, I took off my shirt, I wish I could take her off my mind as this shirt, I sighed with a frustrated breath.  

I fell onto my stomach, buried my face into the pillow, hoping to drown out her memory with the darkness of sleep. But try as I might, her presence persisted, haunting my every thought, but I can't just let her be on it...