Mockingjay If Katniss was Captured

The Meaning of Love

Katniss

I slowly walk down the hallway not wanting to leave the place that has given me comfort for the time being. I don't want to leave but if I don't I don't think I would ever be okay again. Just thinking about how much my safety would have cost is too much. As I reach the turn I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around full ready to attack, but I stop myself when I see who it is.

"Peeta?" I ask whispering trying not to alert the others who are sleeping.

"Yes, Peeta. Now are you going to tell me why you thought you could leave? Why you thought you could go to the damn Capital again? Why you thought saying goodbye with letter was okay?" Peeta questions irritated and angry.

"I was going to leave because the death of the people in 10 is too big of a cost for my life. How would you feel if you lived at the cost of thousands of lives? Because I wouldn't be able to Peeta, the guilt would eat me alive. I thought it was okay to sneak off because no one would let me go otherwise and plus I think if I go to the damn Capital I can take down Snow once and for all. Lastly, at least I was going to say goodbye. I can't necessarily go up to you guys and say 'hi, I just want to say goodbye because I am going against your will and sacrificing myself for the safety of 10. Bye.'  Could I? No." I whisper scream at him. He should know why I am going and he would have done the same if he was in my spot, most people would. After I finish my monologue I feel Peeta's grip on my arm loosen so I do what I am known for. I run.

I feel my breath become quicker as I run through the hallways trying to get Peeta off my tail but it doesn't seem to be working because every time I look back he is there, running. There is no possible way I can out run him and even if I did for a little bit that would not be enough time for me to steal a hovercraft. Trying to configure a plan I begin to slowly decrease my speed. Behind me I feel someone push me to the ground. Hitting my face against the tile of 13, let me tell you, is not fun. My nose got the impact of the fall, but I bet even people in Antartica could hear the sound it produced. A guy can be sledding with his dogs and he hears a "crack" then falls off the sled. 

He quickly turns me over so that his face is only centimeters above his own and he is staring in to my eyes. Those beautiful eyes show many emotions at once but two dominate the others, anger and concern. I can feel the warm blood poor out of my now broken nose but I don't let that stop me because if I fail now I won't ever be able to save those in 10. I do something I hoped I would never do but always seems to work on men, I knee Peeta in his family jewels really hard. 

As he bends over trying to gain his composer I wipe the blood from my mouth and attempt to run away. Key word attempt. I don't even take a step before Peeta seized my arm. As I am dragged back to him, I try to come up with another plan. I am in his arms in no time. To anyone that didn't know the situation it would look like we were about to kiss. That's it! With no warning I lean up and kiss the boy I love. I wish I didn't have to because I am exploiting his only weakness and it will be harder for both of us to let go, but I have to. Breaking the kiss I run again but this time to the kitchen. I wait in the kitchen for Peeta to arrive. 

When he arrives he is breathless and curious. I think it is because he is wondering why I stopped but I can't confirm that no one is a mind reader. I wait for him to make his move but all he does is stand there so I fake lunge and he takes the bait and moves to try to stop me. I do something I am ashamed of and probably will be. When he was standing up straight I take the handle of the knife next to me and hit him hard across the jaw leaving a mark. He falls to the ground but I catch him before he can get seriously hurt. I lay him down gently on the floor. Grabbing some napkins I stuff my fractured nose to stop this stupid bleeding. 

Turning back, I look at Peeta on more time before I leave for the last time, locking the door. I walk through the abandoned hallway heading towards the hovercraft pad. Stealing a hovercraft is really easy but the problem is controlling it. Once I learn how to control the hovercraft and put it on auto pilot I fall to the ground and all the tears I have been holding fall down my cheeks. People think "heroes" don't cry, don't get hurt, don't ever feel scared, don't ever not get the happy endings, don't ever feel pain. But they do we might not show it in front of everyone else because if people see us break from the pressure what is stopping them from doing the same. Half the time all of the nation looks to you for guidance, and you have to give it to them with no indication of fear or hesitation. Being a "hero" takes away everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still Katniss (next chapter will be Peeta's)

I drop the hovercraft in the Capital because I have no energy to walk from another District to this god-forbidden place. Awaiting for me when I arrive is Snow and over a hundred peacekeepers, I feel so loved. Exiting the hovercraft four peacekeepers grab my arms dragging me to Snow. His sinister smile is enough to make me internally cringe.

"Hello Miss. Everdeen. It is so nice that you decided to show up because I was so tempted to call my people in District 2 to blow up every last one of them. Just like I did to your pathetic district."

"Snow, why did you want me to come back if you know I am never going to do what you say even if it ends up killing me?"

"Because Peeta's love for you is so strong it would break him, he let you slip through his fingers. If Peeta breaks, so does the Phoenix in turn destroying the rebellion. Love is weakness and is always going to be those who are stupid enough to fall to it."

"You Snow don't know anything about love and you never will because you a cold-hearted bast*** who only cares for himself. A wise man once said that love means caring for another person's happiness more than your own. You would never be able to risk your happiness for someone else. But you see love requires sacrifice, but in the end is always worth it. This is my sacrifice, but you will never even have that chance to sacrifice yourself because who can love a psychopath like your self, Snow." With that Snow punches my jaw and I am out cold like I had done to Peeta hours ago. Back to the pain and for once I welcome it wanting to end it all.

Author's Note

Hola readers. I know this chapter wasn't that great so you don't have to comment it. Before you kill me for waiting this long for this awful chapter I bare good news. This book has 15-20 chapters left because I now know exactly what the characters will have to endure.  Please comment on what you guys like about the story because I really want to hear what you guys think. Alright guys comment, recommend, add to your library, and vote because I promise you this is only going to get better. Ciao!

(Btw. The wise man is Nicolas Sparks and the quote is from the Notebook)