Mockingjay If Katniss was Captured

All That Waits is Regret

Peeta

Its been three days since Katniss's surgery which was successful, but had caused the doctors to put Katniss in a medical induced coma. Prim, Gale, Haymitch, Annie, Finnick, and Mrs. Everdeen have all been coming by her room and have tried to get me to leave, but I refuse every time. I will not leave her. I will never leave her. She is my life. She is my air. She is my heart. She is my reason to live. She is my everything. Without her I don't think I would be able to survive. If I did I wouldn't be anything. I would be a grain of sand in the Sahara Desert that tumbles away in sandstorms. I will float through life until I get to the point where there is no where to go. I would be a star in the sky above, a tiny speck that is there but doesn't matter and I will burn out when my time comes.

I look to the bed that lays in front of me, that carries the love of my life, Katniss. She wears a hospital gown but through the fabric you can see the extra layer the bandages add. That was not what had concerned me about this whole ordeal. Before this happened I hadn't understood Snow's plan to use Katniss. Originally I thought it was to show people that they were working together, but every time he had tried she hit the Capital harder than before. Than I thought she would use her as a military weapon, which he did. But what I had never considered was that he was going to erase everything and create a whole new Katniss. Only leaving her basic instincts. Once he hears that this backfired as well I don't know what he will do and I don't think I want to.

I hear a grunt from the bed I have been staring at for what feels like eternity. I quickly run to her side waiting for her fierce grey eyes to come out from her eyelids. But when they open I see purple. This means the girl I knew is now hidden behind the facade that was forced upon her. The mask that hides the one who I love with everything I am.

"Hi Peeta. What happened?" Katniss asks groggily.

"Well, after you were shot we all went into a panic and got you back here as quickly as we could. You were immediately rushed in to surgery, which was successful, but the doctors had to put you in a medically induced coma so that you could heal. Everyone was here at one point." I reply back to her. I watch as her face changes from serious to confused.

"What do you mean by everyone?" She asks with her head slightly tilted to the side.

"That depends on what happened that day on the field. I now you had something going on your mind and if you tell me without hurting yourself I will tell you everything." As I tell her this her face is blank. I hope that I can break that wall that she has put up again, so that I can have her and hold her in my arms.

After thinking it over she says, "A young blond girl screaming my name during a nightmare, a women who looks almost identical to the girl is laying a dress on the bed, the boy with the dark hair I saw earlier is offering me a piece of bread as if we were friends, Haymitch falling while walking up the stair and is looking majorly drunk, and I see almost a dozen images of you. His mother hitting him for throwing bread to me saving my life, shaking hands with him on a stage, him saying that he loved me on live T.V., us on the roof having some deep conversation, him saving me by telling me to run while I was in a doozy, me carrying him to a cave, us having a heated make-out session in a cave, me almost getting myself killed to get a stupid needle, us fighting this wolf and dude, us both planning to kill each other so that we would both die, and me running into his arms on the same stage where he declared his love for me. There was also this weird feeling that if I killed you I would be killing a piece of me as well." With that my eyes spark with hope. I want to see her as her. I want to see the Katniss Everdeen I love.

"You probably won't believe anything I am about to say. Or even if I should say it. I don't know how you are going to react or if you are going to hate me. What if I tell you and I lose you again. I can't handle this. I can't do this. Let me get Haymitch to tell you. Or even Gale. You are probably better off with Gale anyway. If you didn't forget everything you probably would have chose him. Why would you chose the pathetic baker's boy who couldn't save you when you needed him most? The boy with no family. The boy who has scars all over. The boy who is broken. The boy who caused all of this. The boy who-" I am cut off by Katniss reaching over grazing my cheek forcing my eyes to meet hers.