Mockingjay If Katniss was Captured

I Wish I Didn't Just

Katniss (right after Peeta takes out the Mockingjay Pin)

I stare down at the golden bird that lays in front of me. Something draws me to it, my heart, but my mind is screaming at me to get the job finished with and kill Peeta. But yet again I can't decide because my heart is contradicting my mind. I wish that I didn't have to choose, that I didn't have to do something that I knew I would regret for my whole entire life. My heart thumps in my chest as I force my eyes to look at Peeta. Every time I stare at this boy my mind and heart both scream. I want to complete my duties, but I don't think I can. Somewhere inside of me I knew if I killed him I would never be whole again. In the end I decided to go with my mind, ignoring the pinches in my heart as the knife drew closer to the defense-less boy below me.

As the knife is an inch above his heart my brain flashes white and a 21 gun salute sounds off in my mind. Everything inside of me freezes and screams in pain. I let out an excruciating scream while taking the knife in my hand and place the hilt on my palm as I clutch my head. Images begin to flash through my mind. A young blond girl screaming my name during a nightmare, a women who looks almost identical to the girl is laying a dress on the bed, the boy with the dark hair I saw earlier is offering me a piece of bread as if we were friends, Haymitch falling while walking up the stair and is looking majorly drunk, and finally I see almost a dozen images of Peeta. His mother hitting him for throwing bread to me saving my life, shaking hands with him on a stage, him saying that he loved me on live T.V., us on the roof having some deep conversation, him saving me by telling me to run while I was in a doozy, me carrying him to a cave, us having a heated make-out session in a cave, me almost getting myself killed to get a stupid needle, us fighting this blond dude, us both planning to kill each other so that we would both die, and me running into his arms on the same stage where he declared his love for me.

I feel my arm with the knife slowly heading towards Peeta's chest but at the last minute I stab myself. You might be thinking why I did that. Well, I couldn't kill a defense-less boy while he is on his back. And I don't think I could ever recover if he died. I don't think I could live if he died and those images just proved it. I don't know if they were memories or dreams, all I know is that I loved that boy once and I want to know why. People around me all come to my aid but all that I do is get off Peeta and pull the knife out of my abdomen. Everyone looks stunned at the fact that I stabbed myself and automatically got to my feet.

"What, is there something on my face?" I ask them.

"Nope, sweetheart, it's on your abdomen." Haymitch replies. Once again that word causes my head to almost explode. Staggering I feel arms on both sides of me preventing me from falling. Looking back I see Peeta's blue, nodding an appreciative nod, I turn back to Haymitch.

"Why do you keep calling me sweetheart and why does every time you say it a sharp pain shoot through my skull? And why did I see a picture of you falling up stairs on a stage? Lastly, are you a drunk?" Every time I ask a question his face displays a different emotion-concern, embarrassment, and amusement- by the last question he is laughing so hard he has tears streaming down his face.

"Katniss, of course that is the first thing you remember about me. For the first question I cannot tell you without hurting you. For the second and the third, I was once a drunk but now am in rehabilitation and in that scene I was extremely drunk. Kat, we have to get you to District 13 to get that injury because at this rate you are supposed to be passed out." With the support of Peeta I make it to the Hovercraft but as I step inside I hear a gun go off. Then a sharp pain hits my chest, an inch away from my heart. I fall into Peeta's arm and before I pass out I vaguely see my pilot being shot down by ten different rebels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Lapse~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peeta

I stare at Katniss as she falls in to my arms. Her chest is rapidly bleeding right next to her heart. Soldiers that know about medicine rush to help her. One female soldier takes off her uniform and we all stare at the scars that cake her whole entire body. Even through the blood you could see what they did to her. Gale, Haymitch, Johanna, and I all look as if we were about to cry just thinking about what she had to go through. Part of me is glad she lost her memory because she doesn't have to remember the pain she went through.

When we reach District 13 many people are waiting on the platform. As we exit carrying bloody Katniss doctors rush and usher us to follow them to the hospital wing. One of the doctors being Mrs.Everdeen who is running faster than she has ever ran. At one point I have to watch them take away the love of my life. Down the hall I see Prim running towards me with tears streaming down her face. When she reaches me a pull her into a deep hug.

"It's true isn't it? She is in that room with a bullet and a stab wound in her. She's going to die, isn't she? I am going to lose my older sister." Prim says into my chest. Does she really think Katniss is going to die?

"Primrose Everdeen don't you ever say that Katniss is going to die. Your sister is a survivor and will always be. You know what happened after she stabbed herself? She pulled out the knife and started acting like there was nothing wrong. Your sister has been to hell and back and has still survived. So, no Katniss Everdeen is not going to die, not today." Prim just looks at me with no words, just goes back into my embrace.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long to update I became busy. I am really cruel, but this time at least I didn't leave it at a major cliffhanger. Alright guys comment, recommend, add to your library, and vote because I promise you this is only going to get better. Ciao!