Death Curse Escapade [BL]

Tatlumpu't siyam

Saturnino

Before, I thought life is so unfair... that life is favoritism that they just blessed selected people. And I am not one of those people. I feel discriminated, bullied and excluded because of my gender, my low self-esteem and because having no father. In my young age, I already knew that the world is cruel especially to me. I suffered from negative criticisms, insulted by many people and being a fatherless. Those are the challenges that I was facing before and I am so proud that my young me fought so hard and surpassed those challenges.

So I decided not to befriend anyone, because I'm worried, I'm scared.

Not until I grew up, and I thought those problems that I was facing are the only problems that I'm gonna face until my teenage. But no, my problems getting heavier and it's getting more problematic. It's already hurting me so much, an excruciating feeling that I thought that I won't ever feel in my entire life.

And one of that is, Iyanna's sudden death.

I am so scared that I thought that I'll die early too because of those traumatizing laughter and gunshots. I thought in that day, I'll also bleed with so much blood. It is so scary that I thought her parents will loathe me, that they'll punish me for what I did. I am actually waiting for it, because I deserve the punishment. I deserve to suffer as well like them.

As I was staring at the dark sky, I felt so blue. I can't even move my body, and even it's cold, I feel so stiffened. My heart is hurting, it was stabbed multiple times and and then crashed into pieces. My tears are already falling, actually kanina pa. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakayanan ang mga problemang kinaharap ko pero hindi ko inakala na babagsak rin pala ako sa sitwasiyon na 'to.

I stared at her tombstone, it was newly made with a golden letterings. I brought a lot of flowers, bouquets and even food that she can eat, that I know it's too impossible.

Napatingala ulit ako sa kalangitan nang magsimula nang umambon. Napangiti na lang ako ng malungkot dahil alam kong nasa itaas lang siya at ginagawa niya ito para hindi ako makita ng ibang umiiyak. Umagang-umaga pa pero nagmumukha ng gabi dahil sa napakadilim na ng langit dahil sa malalaking itim na ulap.

"Even the sky is comforting me, because the sky knew that I need your hug and comfort." I uttered as I caressed her beautiful tombstone. I smiled, sadly.

"It's already raining, let's go apo." Napatingala ako kay Lolo at Lola na ngayo'y nag-aalalang nakatingin sa akin. Nginitian ko sila ng matamis, at sabay iling.

"Lolo, Lola, puwede po bang iwanan niyo po muna ako rito sa puntod ni Mommy? Gusto ko lang po siyang makasama ngayon, isang linggo na rin kasi akong hindi nakabisita sa kaniya. Please po?" Pagsusumamo ko sa kanila, huminga sila ng malalim. Lumuhod si Lolo sa harapan ko at hinaplos ang buhok ko, nginitian niya ako ng matamis.

"Sige apo, basta tawagan mo na lang kami kapag tapos ka na ah? Nandiyan lang kami sa malapit, maghihintay sa'yo." Turan ni Lolo sa akin na siyang ikinatango ko kaagad. Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at niyakap siya ng mahigpit.

"Apo, we'll just wait okay? We won't go if you'll not go with us, understood?" Lola softly stated that made me nodded sweetly.

Napatingin ulit ako sa puntod ni Mommy, na siyang katabi lang din sa puntod ni Iyanna.

Naalala ko bigla kung paano ako magwala sa loob ng hospital nang malaman kong patay na si Mommy. Naalala ko kung paano ako nagwala sa harapan ng mga doctor, sa harapan ng mga hindi ko kakilalang mga tao lalo na't sa harapan ng mga kaibigan ko. Naalala ko kung gaano sila awang-awa sa akin, naalala ko kung gaano kasakit sa kanila ang nangyari no'n sa akin na siyang napakasakit rin!