Trust me, Professor (Severus Snape x OC)

22 • Brick Wall

The energy between us had turned unbelievably strong. I wasn't sure when it had grown or increased into what it had become. But I sure as hell needed a break from it.

I had never thought at the beginning of the year that professor Snape would be on my mind as much as he was. And with the risk of sharing those thoughts on accident I really needed to learn how to empty my mind. Just bad luck I had pushed away the only person who could help.

Still I was determined to try, without his prying shadow going through my inner closet of hidden memories.

And so, when others went to class, I stayed in my bed or sat by the lake. Closing my eyes, I tried to ground myself in my mental wardrobe. I felt small in there, sitting on the floor, attempting to keep the door closed and locked. But despite how many times I tried to keep that closet empty, clothes — or in this case, memories — fell down on me, forcing me to think.

The ironic part of all of this was that I had been a lot better at shutting all of that out when I wasn't purposefully trying to. But now that I was more aware of my mental space, they all came flooding back to me.

There was no one I could ask. And I definitely wasn't about to crawl back to him. He had crossed a boundary I wasn't even ready to explain to anyone, or let alone think about on my own. And although I knew he could find anything when he used his Legilimency on me, a part of me hadn't thought he'd go there.

A part of our deal had been that I needed to attend his classes, however, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted the agreement to continue. If I ended it all, then perhaps I wouldn't need to learn Occlumency. But that was just bullcrap, because I certainly didn't need my mind to share the inner monolouge I had either; shit-talking other students.

Not that it mattered too much, most people knew I didn't like them. But believe it or not, my descriptions or words in general were a lot more colourful than when they left my lips. There was a filter, even if others didn't think so.

Anyway, when shit came to shit, I really needed a grade in Potions to pass. Next summer I'd finally be done with Hogwarts and I could leave it all behind. Therefore I decided to go to his class, finish my tasks, pretend I care — while ignoring him completely.

-

The Potions classroom felt dense as we walked in, as if there wasn't enough oxygen for all of us. Surely the previous students must have exploded something as the smell of nuts, burnt wood and smoke infiltrated my nostrils. I grinned at Blaise's discomfort as he coughed and waved his arms helplessly, «what the hell happened in here?», he hissed.

Pike laughed and patted the boy's back twice, «and here I was thinking being around Leo would've made you immune to smoke», he laughed. I rolled my eyes and shot him a smirk as I gently elbowed his side.

«Funny», I murmured and gathered around a station with him, watching Blaise choose another with some Hufflepuff.

We were mid-conversation when the door burst open, revealing the professor I had been ignoring for four days. I kept my attention on Pike, however, as he continued to explain to me how we weren't going to win the next quidditch game. Well, only my eyes stayed on him, as my mind went to the frustration I'd been growing ever since my last session with Snape. Today was friday and that was originally going to be the day we... release stress. But I was pretty sure Snape already understood that I wasn't going to show.

My glance darted over to the dark haired professor, and a flash of our encounter passed by me. I immediately shifted in my seat, attempting to push it away before I'd involuntarily project it onto Pike. That would've been a hard nut to crack at the inevitable question of why or what the hell?