Trust me, Professor (Severus Snape x OC)

41 • Whiskey

A/N: To anyone who is still here, how am I doing? The story isn't meant to last much longer, but we'll see. Any wishes? Thanks for reading, voting and commenting!

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The hours before he was coming to pick me up was emotional to say the least. It finally dawned on me that I had spontaneously kicked out my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, never-to-see-again boyfriend, and was about to try date my ex-professor. Have-not-seen-in-a-long-time professor.

Had I really thought this through?

Could we really change our dynamic from professor and student to something serious in an entirely different way?

Could I really imagine myself dating, and possibly marrying Severus Snape? Because that was what I was doing, right? Dating to marry?

What baggage did he have? He was an ex-death eater for crying out loud. And wasn't exactly the happiest man on earth. To be honest, he had always been quite mean. But I'd liked him.

Had my sexual infatuation made me do this without any critical thinking?

When I'd offered him the deal at the end of my teenage years I'd solely thought about the fun. And pleasure, obviously. During that year, however, I'd become attached. Even if I did not want to admit it then. But that wasn't unusual. Especially not for women. Right?

He'd told me he love me, though. That was something. I'd even said it back.

Holy shit.

Was it true? Did I really? I couldn't exactly take it back. But obviously feelings change, so if that were to happen he couldn't possibly blame me for it. Or would he? I had not the faintest idea how he would cope with rejection. Would he be worse than Martin?

Snape was a runner. He would've simply left. Run and hide. Surely? I could deal with that.

But the past ten years I had not met a single person that made me feel like he did. Even when I probably should have felt smitten many times. I'd had quite the few handsome muggles hit on me, actually. Even one who'd told me he was on some elite football team. That was, of course, at the beginning of my years in London and I hadn't known how big that sport was. I'd turned him down. Because he smelt of flowers and herbs.

Then why Martin? Well, I truly had no idea. He'd just gotten under my skin — without me noticing. And then I'd gotten used to not being alone.

Losing people doesn't sit well with me.

The hours alone was, undoubtedly, exhausting. My mind rushed from one anxious thought to the other. When had I even become like that? I used to be so determined and unbothered. Was it the non-magic life that did it? I didn't know.

But one thing was certain. I would never know how it would be to even try to date Snape — if I didn't do it. So, I stared at myself in the mirror, long and hard, and decided to look my fucking best and see where the night would take me.

My wand had resurfaced earlier that day, and I'd felt all kinds of things. Before Snape showed up the night before I'd almost forgotten I was a witch. No, really! It was true. I'd taken a safe distance from it all. I even used the phone when contacting Luna, who was the only one I spoke to anyway. I'd given her a phone nine years ago, and then a new one every couple of years.

I wasn't entirely ready to step back into the magical life again, so I'd put it back in its hiding place right away. Three drawers away from my toys. Good thing Sharon didn't see those.

Yikes.

Anyway. Instead of worrying any further, though, I tried to imagine the coming date as a normal one, and to not overthink. Well, more than I already had, that is.