𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔇𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔩'𝔰 𝔗𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔰

Shadow²¹

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 XXI

꧁༒𝐡𝓪Ⓚᗴℝ༒꧂

After Felix had escaped from the Bang estate with his mind racing, he felt as if an invisible weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Only to move on to the next one. The pressure of past events left the boy for a brief moment as he entered the familiar yet desolate streets of his old neighbourhood. With hesitant steps, he finally returned to his run-down room, which was surrounded by a gloomy atmosphere. The room was barren and marked by neglect. The walls were peeling and the musty odour of damp hung heavy in the air. An old and mouldy mattress lay in one corner, its cover tattered and stained. Felix settled down on it. His tired eyes travelled around the room, which was flooded with weak rays of light that fell through the dirty windows.

The peace on the outside was in stark contrast to the restlessness inside Felix. As he lay there, a wave of sadness overwhelmed him as he thought of his late brother Yongbok. The memories of their days together in this room, of his brother's carefree laughter and of the love that Yongbok showed for him every day flooded his thoughts. But with the memories also came the pain. The emptiness that Yongbok's death had left behind felt particularly oppressive at that moment. Felix felt a knot tighten in his stomach and his heart seemed to pound in his chest. He closed his eyes, hoping to banish the images of the past for a moment, but they wouldn't go away.

Instead, they kept reappearing, vivid and painful at the same time. Felix's chest tightened and he could feel the tears slowly making their way down his cheeks. It was as if the grief was flooding him and there was nothing he could do about it. In that moment, surrounded by the silence of his run-down room, he felt lost and alone with his pain. This was the first time in years that Felix didn't fight the pain, but accepted the truth. Yongbok is dead... and it's all his fault. And as if with a thud, Felix sits up, wipes the tears from his face with aggressive movements and whispers something to himself. "Embrace the beauty of pain!", even if this saying comes from the man who killed his brother, it is still true. Felix doesn't have time to wallow in grief and self-pity now. He must take revenge for his brother's death.

But he knows that Mr Zee will be expecting it. Felix knows the old man too well to simply set off in search of him in peace. Mr Zee will send men out to look for Felix and the first place he will look is here, so Felix has to pack his things and get out of here. He has to go into hiding for the first time, but he must never lose sight of the man. Felix knows that Mr Zee didn't just want to kill Yongbok. The old man has something bigger in mind and Felix has to get to the bottom of it. And so Felix gets up quickly and packs what he will need. These include a thermal imaging/night vision camera, hearing aid for distances, bugs, GPS tracker, a laptop and much more. Felix may never be as well equipped as Seungmin and Jeongin, but he has his fair share of technology. However, it's not just technical devices that end up in his bag, but also souvenir photos that Yongbok has repeatedly taken without his consent and placed in the room because he wanted to make the room more lively.

But even when Felix has packed everything he thinks he will need, he is still not finished. He goes into the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror. He can understand why Chan doesn't want to see him. He looks a lot like Yongbok... Too similar. The only thing that sets them apart is Felix's mad facial expressions and the scar. Felix can't walk around looking like his deceased brother. It's time for Felix and Yongbok to become two different people. And so Felix pulls a pack of black hair dye out of the cupboard. He'd had it there for a while because he'd often toyed with the idea of doing it so he could just be Felix. But he didn't want to offend Yongbok with it. He knew how Yongbok would have reacted... He would have been devastated. But now there was nothing to hold him back. And so Felix literally rips open the packaging and prepares the mixture before simply smearing it on his hair. Felix may miss his blonde hair at some point, but the black also suits him very well.

But when he has dried his hair, he still looks too much like Yongbok. So he takes a pair of scissors and cuts off the long hair. But the more Felix changes his appearance, the angrier he gets, until he finally throws the scissors at the mirror out of frustration. "Better...", he says, looking at himself in the broken mirror. This image, right in front of his eyes, describes him perfectly... ugly... Broken alone... Now he can finally go into hiding. No one will be able to recognise him. Felix is finally himself... as he has always seen himself and as everyone else has seen him... as an outsider to the world. Felix takes his bag and, with one last look back, he leaves the room and disappears into the darkness of the night. He blends in with the shadows and nobody ever gets to see him again.

But Mr Zee senses that he has one more shadow by his side. Like someone's watching him from afar, but blending in too well with his surroundings to be seen. Even in his room, he has the feeling that someone is watching him from behind the curtains. He even becomes so paranoid that he removes all his men from their actual posts and uses them as bodyguards. No one is focussed on the Bang Mafia or doing their first assigned business anymore. They are all focused solely on the old man's safety, but even that doesn't keep him safe. One morning he wakes up to find a small present wrapped in red wrapping paper on his bedside table. Mr Zee takes it with shaky hands and opens it. Inside is just a small note and a Polaroid. In the picture he sees a woman who looks all too familiar and sends a cold shiver down his spine. Then he takes the note.

'Embrace the beauty of pain!'

꧁༒𝐡𝓪Ⓚᗴℝ༒꧂

Welcome back!

I am so happy to announce that I am working on my next book right now!

Also I want to dye my hair black again, but I am also terrified! But I'll probably do it anways , because who cares?

Hope you likes today's chapter! See you next time!

~chichi