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ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 XXII
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꧁༒𝐡𝓪Ⓣᗴℝ༒꧂
Felix is no stranger to spionage. He has years of experience and has completed many missions, but he still feels lonely every time. These kinds of missions require a kind of mentality that Felix thought he possessed. Master Rohan taught Felix early on that he had to create a fantasy in his head to get through the long wait without going mad and to avoid making a mistake. At first, Felix didn't understand what Master Rohan meant by 'fantasies', but when he had his first spy mission, he realised very quickly.
It was a simple task. Felix was to shadow the daughter of a CEO. The reason was simple. The man didn't pay Mr Zee the money for some drugs, so he had to suffer. Mr Zee could have just killed him, but Master Rohan thought it was the best mission for Felix. So Felix shadowed the man's daughter for a whole eight days. He was always on hand as soon as she got a call. He watched her when she was just sitting there doing nothing. He watched her sleep... to be honest, Felix felt a bit weird doing so. He didn't want to shadow her so closely, but not because he didn't want to scare her (he wasn't interested in that), but because he felt uncomfortable.
And then he finally understood what Master Rohan meant. Felix needed to escape into a world of fantasy to isolate himself from his emotions and concentrate only on the essentials. It took a while, but then Felix imagined that the girl was an old school friend and that she and Felix had arranged to meet for a meal in a café. Felix replayed this fantasy in detail in his head. This helped him not to feel too many emotions and still concentrate on his goal. Once Felix was fixed deep in his imagination, it was no longer so difficult for him to shoot the girl in the end. It may sound cruel, but in Felix's imagination he pictured her being hit by a car as they were crossing the road. No emotions or guilt associated with the death. After the shot, it was all over. Felix returned to reality and was no longer the old school friend, but the Devil.
Felix was a different person back then. No emotions... no fear... no feelings... no words. Was he even human? Felix often asked himself that. Was it even possible to call a monster like him a human being? All those feelings and strong empathy are what make a person human, aren't they? Compassion and charity... that's what people always talk about. You should behave nicely towards people. Have respect for the elderly. Treat children with empathy and always be friendly. Also called social norms... Felix was and had none of these things. He had no norms or rules that he followed. There was never anything else for him except Mr Zee's selfish ideas.
