Colorful Flowers

✿》46 - Playdate《✿

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It's my stupid playdate today. I thought it would be later after Silvester, but no Coriolanus had to schedule before and now I have to actually play with 8 year olds. I don't want to look like an 8 year old anymore. What if I go on a food strike and I don't eat until I am sure Coriolanus isn't making the maids put stuff in my food. I would think he would want me to eat so maybe it will work, but maybe he will say I can't go back home if I don't eat which won't be good. So I guess I have to keep eating if I want to go back home. I don't get why I have to go to a playdate when I could just hangout with Bea we just sit on one of our beds and talk, but with Cassandra and Jason I will actually have to play something probably something pretend. I hate playing pretend so much. It makes me want to cry, it is so uncomfortable for me. I never really understood why because Maude Ivory absolutely loves playing pretend and I always refuse to play it with her. It makes her sad and she asks someone to make me play, but they say it is my choice. I always suggest something else to play if she wants to and I will play the things I suggest, but she just wants to play pretend. Then she makes Lucy Gray play pretend with her which is fine with me because I can just read and watch them do whatever they do, but sometimes I wonder why I hate playing pretend and why it makes me so uncomfortable. Everyone else seems fine with it, but I guess it is just a me thing or it's just one more thing that makes me different.

I sigh and I slowly get ready for the day. The longer it takes then maybe I won't have to go. I really just don't want to go to this. I hope Cassandra's parents take us to the park so I can just swing on a swing. I love swings so much. I love feeling the wind on my face and doing the same thing over and over again feels amazing and it calms me down. It is like that feeling when everything just fades away and nothing else matters and you don't care about anything that is what it is like when I am swinging. It feels amazing and I love it. I can't really swing on my chair in my room because that is not what it is made for.

I pull on a light blue dress, with white frill down the middle. It has long sleeves and the cuffs of the sleeves frill out a bit. I put on white stockings and I put on my brown buckle shoes. When I put on my shoes Lucy Gray walks in and I look up at her still crouching while I buckle my shoes

"Almost ready?" Lucy Gray asks me

"Yeah" I say breathily

"It's gonna be fun" Lucy Gray says

"Not if I have to play pretend" I say to Lucy Gray

"Say no then" Lucy Gray says

"I can't because Coriolanus wants me to have these friends" I say

"That is true, but Coriolanus doesn't have that power over you" She says

"Yeah but it is important to have lots of friends for politics or something like that" I say to Lucy Gray

"Friends don't matter Bri. If you don't want to play pretend then don't play pretend" Lucy Gray says

"Ok" I say to Lucy Gray

"Now let's brush your hair and put on your headband" She says

I nod and sit down at my vanity and Lucy Gray brushes all the tangles out of my hair. Once she finishes she puts the headband in my hair and smiles at me through the mirror

"You look beautiful" Lucy Gray says

"Thank you" I say smiling

We both walk out of my room and we go towards the dining room to eat breakfast. It's probably best that I eat before the playdate because I am not sure if they are going to give us snacks or something like that so I might as well eat something even if I don't want to eat. Today for breakfast is pancakes. I like pancakes especially with syrup, but the syrup has to be on the side and it can't touch the pancake until I dip it in the syrup. I also hate when the syrup gets on my hands. I hate the feeling of something sticky on my hands. I don't even know how to describe the feeling. I guess I just don't like things sticking to my hands it's gross.