Red, White and Royally fucked

-12-

Henry

"You fell asleep. Again." I say when Alex looks up at me through hooded eyes.

"Sorry..." he mumbles but nuzzles back in against my chest. We have been watching that series he likes so much every night for this past week. But he always falls asleep leaning against me, and I actually don't mind. I like the way his hair smells and how he mumbles in his sleep. Always to incoherent to understand, but almost full conversations with himself. And I love how he always calms down if he hears my voice while having nightmares. Which he always has.

We spend most of the nights on this couch. Him sleeping while I watch the show. Then he quizzes me on it during breakfast. He knows it by heart.

"Jess is back..." I say as I brush the hair away from his face, "Do you really want to miss that?" his eyes flutter open.

"No..." he yawns and sits up a little straighter, still leaning against me.

When the character Jess first appeared on the show, he told me that he had always liked his arc in the story the most, and that I should just wait and see. That he would turn into the good guy. I have a feeling he might be crushing on him a little, which I find very cute.

"I'm still waiting for him to become the good guy." I say teasingly and he slaps me.

"Just wait. God, you are so impatient."

"He just seems to be a dick. He only wants to break up Rory and Dean just because he can. That's not a good guy move..."

"He'll change." Alex looks up at me and his nose nearly touches my cheek. I want to kiss him so bad, but I won't. Because I haven't. For a whole goddamn week. "He's a good guy. He just doesn't believe in himself yet."

Somehow that feels pointed and I look down into his eyes.

"Yeah? And how do you know?"

"I just know... I can tell."

I no longer know if we are talking about the show or something else. I push his hair back and brush my thumb down his cheek then over his lips and he kisses it. My heart starts to race, and I'm afraid he'll notice, so I begin to move slightly, as if I'm sitting in an uncomfortable position.

"Do you want me to move?" he asks.

"Just for a moment," I say, "my arm is sleeping." He moves away and I pull my arm to me.

"Henry..." he whispers and I'm afraid of what he is going to say. I can hear it in his voice. I know where this is going.

"I think we should go to sleep..." I say instantly. "It's getting late."

"Yeah, you might be right." I can hear the disappointment in his voice, but I have no choice. I need to keep him at a distance.

He gets up, then offers me a hand to help me up. Reluctantly I take it. As I feared, I end up an inch from his face, once I'm standing.

"Hi." He says while looking into my eyes.

"Hello..." I respond.

"I'm going to kiss you now..."

Fuck... I'm dead.

"Oh, okay." I say instead of telling him no. I am so stupid sometimes. Nora is going to kill me. Bea is going to kill me. Even Alex is going to kill me. But when he kisses me, every single voice that has been screaming at me in my head, quiets down. The only thing that exists is his lips against mine. His tongue licking at my bottom lip for me to give him access. And I do. Of course, I do. How can I not? I put my hands on his waist and pulls him closer. I need to feel him. He wraps his arms around my neck, and I lift him up. I know it's stupid. So goddamn stupid... but I still carry him to my bed. Not his. Mine.

I have never – not even once – had a man in my bed. But I need Alex to be in it. I put him down gently, but he refuses to remove his legs from around my waist, so I lay down on top of him. Kissing him. Touching him. Moving my thigh in between his legs. Then he moans my name, and oh... my... God... something inside me explodes. And I want more. I crave it. I tug at his shirt to get it off, and he understands my intentions and removes it. I kiss every inch of his chest...I lick... bite... Until he is writhing beneath me, thrusting his hips up against my body. Giving himself the friction, he needs.

"Alex, where are you?" Nora calls from the kitchen and every single curse word I have ever known, leaves my lips. Alex shushes me and kisses me one last time before rolling me of him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

I groan and dig my head into my pillow, wanting to scream in frustration when Alex leaves my room.

Right now, I almost want to kill her. I mean it. Knife... body... Dead!

"She's awake!" Alex' voice echoes through the apartment and I jump out of the bed and runs to him. "Mom called. She's awake. Groggy and not really coherent yet, but awake. She's awake Henry. She's awake." He hugs me tight, and I can feel his body tremble. He has been so scared even though he has been trying to hide it.

"I'm so happy for it, love." I keep holding him for as long as he needs, and when I hear him crying of relief, I stroke his hair and whisper in his ear. "Everything is alright, love. She's awake. She's going to be fine." His sobs turn to laughter as I once again repeat my mantra I have been doing ever since he yelled at me in that random guy's car.

"You really weren't kidding when you said you aren't good at saying something."

"No, I wasn't." I laugh with him. "I'm terrible at it."

"I don't mind. I actually really like it. It's comforting. Familiar."

"I like that. Comfort..."

"Are you ready?" Nora says and Alex releases me.

"Yes, I'm coming."

"Do you want me to come too?" I ask.

"That's okay. Get some sleep. They won't let you in her room anyway, and you need to sleep."

I nod and resist the urge to kiss him goodbye. Then they leave and I find my pen and paper and start writing.