Red, White and Royally fucked

-16-

Henry

"So, no more unprotected sex." Alex says as we finally arrive back a the flat after a very long morning.

"Okay." Is my simple answer. He has been going on and on about this topic ever since we left the clinic. Talking in that cute rambling way he tends to do sometimes. "Or..." I push him up against the door. "Since we are both clean..." I kiss him and he wraps his arms around my neck. The door suddenly opens, and we both stumble inside.

"There you are!" Nora says. "I was worried, you idiots!" I sigh and let go of Alex and Nora drags him with her to the couch. I on the other hand go to hide in my room. I would much rather have preferred to spend time with Alex, but Nora still scares me, so it's safer in here.

About 30 minutes later Alex knocks on my door.

"Do you want to come with me to the hospital?"

For a second, I nearly panic. Why does he continue to want me to go? Like, I know why and I must admit that I will follow him anywhere if he asks me, but just the thought about the hospital still gives me a sense of anxiety. I should probably talk to Alex about it soon. Just in case I get a panic attack while being there with him. Maybe Nora can go with him, so I can postpone this conversation a little longer? I'm not sure I'm ready for him to look at me differently.

"isn't Nora free to go with you?"

"Yes..." he says and fiddles with his fingers. A tick I have noticed he has when he is nervous. "But I would rather go with you."

"You know, I would almost go anywhere with you, love, but I really don't like hospitals..."

Alex enters my room and take a seat on my bed next to me.

"Do you want to tell me why?"

"It's silly..." I say and try to get up to put some distance to him. I really don't like talking about my feelings or my previous trauma.

"Hey," he takes my hand and prevents me from standing. "It's not silly. Not if it's affecting you this way."

"I just..." I look down at our hands that now instinctively intertwines whenever we are close to each other, and it makes me realize I want to tell him. "I haven't liked hospitals ever since my dad died." I hold my breath for a moment, waiting for him to react, but he just caresses my hand with his thumb. Waiting for me to continue in my own time. I look at him and my heart skips a beat. I don't know when it happened, but he has become my best friend. The one I want to share things with. "He meant everything to me. He was actually the one who raised us, most of the time. Our mother was too busy with her company." I smile at Alex, "He was an actor once." I find my phone and shows Alec a picture of him in the last movie he did. "He was James Bond. And he loved it. Then my mother's business became successful, and he left his acting life behind to raise us so she could work with her firm. I never understood why. Why his dream wasn't as important as my mothers, and all he ever said was that she had fought hard to create something that was truly hers and I never understood why until..." I stop talking when I realize I nearly said to much. "Anyway," I continue, "he raised us until the day he died. My mother was never home, and I've never stopped wondering if he could have been saved if she had been there. If she had seen the signs earlier." Alex has turned his entire body towards me and puts his free hand on my knee, giving it a comforting squeeze. "After he died, she stopped caring about us at all. We never saw her much. We had nannies. Au pairs. But never a mother. And then my brother Philip started working for her firm and became the exact same person. He never cared about me and Bea after that. He didn't have time. The company was more important. That's when I decided that I would never be like that. I would never want a family of my own and risk disappointing or hurting them..."