Life Ends At You

3. Chasing her Shadow

There I sat again with her diary on table. I can't restrain anymore. Maybe Mann is right. Maybe it can help me find her. I suppressed my guilt and opened the first page of the diary.

"It was all empty. I opened the 2nd page. It was almost empty except a note that said, "If you aren't him, mf close this diary right now."

And my heart broke into pieces. My heart sank so bad. My heartbeats slowing with every breath I took. I just met this girl twice and how my mind reacted to this fact was insane. But I turned page further and further. Poems and poems, all dedicated to him- her boyfriend. Why did it both me so much? Is love at first sight real? Did I fell prey?

No way, concentrate Adi. I leaned back on the couch, kept my hand at my heart. I felt a strange pain in my chest, mild but enough to well up my eyes.

I turned pages over and over. And my eyes fell on a diary entry.

"5 am Man Sagar Lake walks are best." She mentioned she is a morning person, and she goes for a daily morning jog. Maybe this is the right chance. But I am a night person. I sleep at 3 how am I supposed to go for jog at 5? I need to. Maybe I get to confirm if she has a boyfriend or is he now an ex? Please just tell me you are not into him anymore baki mei dekh lunga.

Next morning I woke up at 4 and changed into jogging clothes.

I ran downstairs in excitement. My dad was sitting with his I-pad in hand sipping on his tea. He looked up at me running hastily on stairs.

"Dekh rhi ho Shreya, tumhare bete ko ab neend mei chalne ki bhi bimari ho gyi h." My dad mocked.

"Papa jaag chuka hu mai, jogging ke lie jaa raha hu."

"Aur neend mei bolne ke bhi." Hitler added. Kya sahi bezzati karte hai nah. I ignored and hugged my mom from back.

"Bas bhi kijie, apko bhi bas taane marne h der se uthe ya time se." My mom answered him.

"Kisi ladki ke chakkar pad gya h maa apka ladla. Warna ye maharaj time se uthke de."

"Agar tumse koi ladka nhi phas rha toh mujse kyu chid rhi ho." I mocked her, she was about to say something but shuts her mouth noticing dad there. I left the hall silently and jogged to MS lake noticing all around. In case.... you know.

It was 7am now, she didn't come. Am I chasing a shadow or what? She disappears for weeks then appears again and disappears again. Are we playing hide and seek? I am going mad. I went back home and office again. Hope I might meet her there somehow. And before my schedule started, I checked her cabin again. It was empty today too. Is she a witch? Cinderella?

I am finding my Cinderella by her diary, wow.

Next morning I woke up at 4 again, looked for her but again ended up nowhere. Not in office. Not near MS lake. Not on earth. Girl where the fuck do you disappear. Maybe she just had breakup and locked herself in room? refused to come to office? refused to wake up early to visit her favorite place? Shall I be happy or sad?

Why am I being so delusional. I need to stop it. Again, I sat with her diary on my table for the 9th day in a row. I opened the diary again. Opening that broke my heart into pieces. This girl is driving me mad. I can't do it anymore. I can't. I am tired.

But a corner in my heart screamed just once more please. Just one last day. Oh, girl only if you knew how you are imprinted on my mind. My heart is obsessed with you. How much I crave to see you once again. Hear you. Know you. Know that little mind of yours. But you are busy playing Cinderella.

My alarm rang again, 10th day of chasing my Cinderella. I turned off my alarm and fell on my bed again. But I couldn't sleep. I was getting restless, what if she came today? one last time Adi, my heart called out. I got out of my bed and once again ran to MS lake.

Jogged around for half an hour when I noticed her. Finally. Finally, Cinderella, you appeared. Her skin glimmered in rising sun. She looked lethal. I slowed down approaching her but before I could. A guy came running behind him pulled her hair and ran. She chuckled and chased him running through woods, theirs laughing sounds echoing. My heart sank with those sounds. The mild pain in my chest rising again. As If I was losing something too important to someone who doesn't even deserve it. Was it the boyfriend she wrote poems for? All those letters? All those paragraphs and diary entries?

She crashed on him as he stopped chuckling and hugged her back. And my heart stopped beating. My heart sinking to depths I didn't knew existed. No why should I care? I ran through the road. Taking out my frustration on my muscles. I can't afford to shed a tear here. Not now. Not for a stranger.

And as I entered my home, Vedhika and Dad sat on the table as if waiting for me. Their eyes landed on me as I entered panting. I didn't pay heed and ran to stairs.

"Adi" Vedhika called back.

"Hnn" I turned back.

"I have something important to discuss with you, meet me before you leave for office." My dad mushed.

"Ji dad." I said and ran to my room, slammed the door. And I couldn't help but punch wall. Why the hell am I going so mad about a stranger girl I saw twice. I punched the wall until the aggression inside me calmed and took a long hot shower. I was about to leave before I remembered dad's words, and I knocked his door.

"Come in." Hitler's voice echoed. I opened the door slowly and entered he was sitting in his room collecting some files from his shelf.

"Ji dad?"

"Baitho." He gestured to the sofa beside me. Ab toh maine school bhi paas kar lia. It always happened when dad received my report cards or hear my teacher's complaining. College ke last semester ka result aa gya kya? I think I passed that. Did he find anything else? Firse kuch kia kya maine? Think Adi think ab kya kand kia?

He sat down calmly sighed. Looked up at me.

"Adi, I know you just came back a week ago, but we need someone to be in Mumbai for the that new pheromone project. I can't leave your mother alone and Vedhika is a bit hesitant to go."

"Mumma ko kya hua?"

"Actually tumhare nanaji ki condition critical h, we need to visit Delhi frequently."

"Why did no one tell me?"

"You just came back; your mother didn't want you to get involved in anything such right now. But don't worry it's all okay. And I believe you can deal with it." His eyes were concerned today. I have never seen him like this.

"Sure dad. You don't need to request me. I am on your command." I assured him with a smile. He smiled back and patted my shoulder.

"So, when should I leave?"

"Tomorrow morning, you can take an off today."

"No dad, I have the whole night to pack and take rest. I will leave now. Take care."