Now You Want Me (The Rejected)

Chapter 44

ELIJAH

I sat down watching as Ari played around with Sir, Rumi and Blue. Beyoncé brought them to see me. Although Blue was not really speaking to me and I could understand. I was yet to explain to her my reason for not seeing her for the past months, neither did I tell her mother but I guess she assumed it was because of Ari which it was. As for the twins they didn't really care but I still owe them an explanation.

I just couldn't let Blue believe that she did something wrong to me or that I hate her, cause that's not the case at all. I got up from where I was sitting going towards her and sitting next to her. "Do you mind if I sit next to you?" I asked

"Your already sitting, beside it's your house" She replied shrugging, "apologize for leaving without saying anything. I also apologize for not calling or picking any of your calls when you did. You might think that I did it because of something you or because or I hate but it's not true" I said to her tucking my knees behind my hand.

"Then why did you?"

"I had to travel somewhere for many reasons the most important was Ariana. She is very special to me. I found out she was alive and had to go find her throughout the whole journey I wasn't really focused on anything else except her so I just kind of cut myself from the world. I apologize if my actions made you feel other wise" I finished off, she looked up at me before throwing herself at me hugging my waist tightly.

I felt something wet against my skin and upon seeing her body shake I knew she was crying. I just patted her head letting her cry unto my shirt. Her mother looked at her daughter worried as she cried for a while before stopping, wheezing and trying to catch her breathe.

"You feel better Blue?" she said nothing

"Blue" I called out again no reply, I looked down at her seeing her chest rise up and down, with little snores coming out of her mouth. She feel asleep. "I'll go put her in her room" Beyoncé nodded, I proceeded to take her upstairs to her bedroom and laying in her bed putting a blanket over her to keep her warm from the cold room.

"Thank you for putting her to bed" Beyoncé said looking at me as I reached the end of the stairs. "No problem" I responded walking past her "Elijah" she called out holding my arms I hummed turning back to look at her.

I tilted my head to the side "yes" I answered "are you okay?" the question was weird so I said nothing.

She remained still as if looking for what to say "I just thought to ask you been real busy with basketball, the kids, Ari and all"

"Am fine" was all I said attempting to walk away again only to be stopped again "wait, I know you had a mental breakdown when you left to find Ari. I felt it all three of us did" She said rubbing my arms. I was surprised by this but hid it.

"Elijah if you ever need somebody to talk to am here, you could always talk to me, you don't have to be alone...."

I snapped my head towards her, furrowing my eyebrows and keeping a cold gaze "mind your business. Other than the kids there's nothing to talk about. I don't need you, I don't need any of you. Get that into your head" she looked surprise frowning a little "am just trying to help you"

I grinded my teeth together "I don't want it" I said going to pick up the sleeping Sir and Rumi taking them to their rooms and laying them in their beds, making sure they were comfortable. I went back downstairs picking up a sleeping Ari and heading for the door.

Beyoncé walked behind me helping me open the door "goodnight" She said as I left.

Beyoncé

I pressed my back to the door wondering why I couldn't just face my fear and say sorry instead of doing all that. I could still smell his scent that was left on every part of my house he walked passed. He smelled amazing.

I needed to clear my head. I go upstairs to my bedroom preparing a bath for myself,  once the hot water was close to the edge of the tub I took my clothes off and got in relaxing into the water mixed . I tried to forget but the more I tried the more I kept thinking about him.

Days after having that scary dream or what should I call it. I was forced to realize that my actions toward Elijah in the past where way deeper than I thought. Thinking about it from my own perspective was one thing but seeing it, going through it from his perspective was another. 

A few years now I realized that I've been too scared to admit my wrong doings. Instead of coming to terms with them and really try to be better I've been selfish towards Elijah. I've never really taking the time to apologize to him for everything and thank him for all thing he did for me. I just keep asking and asking from him, not bothering to really talk to him. He had every right to no trust me and I have no reason to complain, I deserved his cold looks.

I got out the shower, did my skin routine and got under my bed covers dozing off as I  remained in my thought there was still a connection between there's no denying it and I plan on fixing it. I was getting mines back.

A/N: Am ending this book here and doing a book two. Let me know your thoughts about the book so far.