𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 | | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 [𝐄.𝐌]

Rebirth Of Him

A/N
ABUSE WARNING!
I'm currently stood outside of work waiting for my manager to get here to unlock the shop...she's 20 minutes late :/

Anyway -

Enjoy, My Munson Babies <3

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KIMBERLY CASSIDY

Atelophobia ;
'An excessive and persistent fear of imperfection.'

It was growing like a tumour inside of my mind, my skin - me. How did I stop it?. How did I cease the bleeding and suffering within me?. In the days that followed, when I lay down to sleep, I let the darkness in.
I would lay there at night, and let the crippling fear take me over completely- I let the fear crawl over my skin, slither along my bones, and wrap it's thick fingers around my throat.
I let it break me down, over and over again, until the darkness was all that was left inside of me. The darkness didn't heal me but it numbed the pain enough that I could sleep.

All I needed was sleep.

The days that followed on from Eddie's admission of wanting to keep his children in his life for good, were long and boring. It felt like the hours dragged when he wasn't here, and all I needed was him at my side; my black swan.

Without him, my world didn't seem so bright, suddenly everything felt drab and boring, almost painful to endure in his absense. I was a mess when he wasn't there, all the fears and insecurities that would normally curl up into a ball within the presence of his love, suddenly started crawling across my skin like spiders, until they'd taken over completely.

How had I ever survived without him?. Because right here and right now, I was totally lost without Eddie.

A lot of my new found fear had stemmed from the deal. For context ;

An organisation called 'better you' had caught my eye back in 1992, when I was in Italy - beautiful country, by the way - they were grouping up, protesting against the government, all governments. It seemed too good to be true at first, but then I met Freja.

It was Freja who convinced me to join, she was charming, kind and very persuasive. She sold me a beautiful dream; The idea that we could change the world using cutting edge ideology - that everyone could be better and the world could be a more equal and loving place.

She had this way of speaking to me, this way of making me feel like the most magical girl in the world. She made me believe everything she said, and for awhile, I really did, at least until I started to see the cracks.

Those cracks were what started the initial loop of fear; it was no longer just freja who I was supporting, it was her puppeteers.

They were unknown to me, unknown to most of the people in the organisation - I was silly to stick with them even after falling through those cracks in their story.

I was silly to trust anybody but myself.

But Eddie - I trusted him too. Would he give me the same fate Freja did?. Was he manipulating me the same way 'better you' were?. Or was I just scared?.

"Kim!." Eddies hands clapped in front of my face loudly, causing my body to jolt and wake me from my day dream. "Where'd you go?." He asked next, his eyes scanning my own in hope of an answer to his question.