𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 | | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 [𝐄.𝐌]

Thought's That Should've Been Word's

A/N
The last two chapters took me FOREVER to write but I hope you guys enjoyed them. Got so much stuff going on atm so please bare with me!! The book will get interesting enough soon..

Enjoy, My Munson Babies <3.

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STEVE HARRINGTON
1987.
I'd always assumed that life would just begin to get better the older you got, because even though the petty problems you faced in high school didn't seem like they meant much, they affected you badly as that's all you knew at that age, so becoming an adult was an ideal situation for me.
Oh how I was wrong.
Being an adult only consisted of heart break and abomination, and if I had known that I'd spend most of my adulthood grieving, I'd have never wished for it to come.

Two years. Two years and a bit since Kim had died and there still wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think of her. Not a single day on the Harrington Calendar where I didn't wake up in a pool of my own sweat and tears from a nightmare of her.

It seems sad, really. Crying in my sleep over a girl I loved when I was 16?. Yeah. Pretty pathetic, right?.

But it was something I couldn't control. It was something my mind wouldn't let me process, and the more I woke up in those fits of terror in the middle of the night, Kim's broken face etched into the back of my orbs, the less I was to grieve for her.

The nightmares of her, of her broken face, the guilt that came so sudden and so painful at times it felt hard to breath, the feeling of not being able to save her even in a dream...it felt as though these moments were slowly consuming me.

That's how nightmares tend to feel though; no matter how much a person tries to stay calm or think logically, they'll always find themselves spiraling at a moments notice; that's why they're called nightmares after all. I hadn't an explanation for these dreams. There wasn't an answer to the why's and the how's. There wasn't an answer to much these days, but one thing I did know for sure, was that I needed some type of closure.

In the midst of all of the trauma and grief, I found myself in a new state every time I blinked. Looking; searching for something that could heal my heart, whether that be a new girlfriend or a quick hookup.

I always forced myself to believe that it was the state that dealt with my trauma, but it wasn't. I'd be lying to both of us if I said that out loud, and it wasn't the girls either.

I think this was the first time since Kim's Trial that we had all been in a room together, and it was the first time I didn't feel as if I needed something to fix my broken heart. It was the first time since Kim's death I think we had all felt..complete.

It was a particularly welcoming day in San Diego, where Corroded Coffin were doing a gig for just over 5,000 people, and even though it wasn't my type of music adding on that me and Eddie weren't that close anymore, I still stood in the crowd supportively; because if Kim were still here, she'd never be happier to see us all supporting him.

I let Eddie's music cloud my mind of my worries and allowed my body to 'Rock 'n Roll', as Ed would say.

With the band playing loud enough to drown out my thoughts and feelings, it was only natural that i would escape into the music. The crowd was big, energetic and lively and i could see myself just getting lost in the madness for as long as i needed to.