𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙊 𝘽𝙀 𝘼 𝙎𝙀𝘾𝙍𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝘿𝙈𝙄𝙍𝙀𝙍 // 𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙠.

17.

yn couldn't stop beating herself up over the whole fiasco with akaashi. aran told her the next day that he decided to walk her home, since he was tired as well, which made her feel even worse because not only had she sprayed him when he was completely innocent, but he was also trying to do something nice for her!

this was a disaster. she knew he wasn't mad at her, but she couldn't stop apologizing over the last four days. she texted and called. she also bought real pepper spray, just like akaashi told her.

she strolled down the hallways of the university's main building. it was too early for most students to arrive, but some, like her, needed to visit the library before classes. one of her classes' monthly assignments was to find an old book or article about child development and write an essay explaining why it was out of date and contained incorrect information in comparison to what they knew now. it was actually very interesting, which is why yn decided to look for an old book in the library rather than using the internet.

she nodded to takahashi, who passes her in the hallway and just yawned in the answer. it was probably an answer from him and the most she could expect. why was he up at that hour? she had few friends who were in the same class as him and they usually didn't start their classes untill 10am.

'bulletin board,' she thought, barely containing a gasp because just the idea alone that maybe he put up something that was for her.

yn turned in slightly different direction than the library. the books would wait, most of her classmates used internet anyway.

with a heavy heart, yn stood in front of the bulletin board, looking for a piece of paper with a handwritten poem for her.

and it was there.

'to yn,
you have all the gentleness of the flowers in your heart, in your gaze, in your soul. soft touch, like a fresh bud petal. every smile is a hope, like the blossoms. not a rose that has to be ripped from its thorns, not difficult to love without change. a daisy, when spring comes in, everything comes back to life. daisy picked to make a flower crown for a lover. but picking up a flower is killing it. so i will be there, sitting on the grass, watching the wind move you. maybe it will move you into my arms.'

her hand lightly clutched the material of her sweatshirt on her chest, hoping to relieve some of the squeezing feeling. but it stayed and grew bigger with each time she read the text.

there was a small flower drawn in the bottom right corner of the page. it felt like the most beautiful flower she had ever received, all of the bouquets she had ever been given could not compare to that small doodle. a daisy.

she had to call akaashi. probably apologize to him again and ask for help.

"you found yourself quite an admirer," yn heard from her left side and nearly jumped in surprise. it was one of the professors from the literature department. mr. sato? she was not sure. "even professors around here are talking about it," he chuckled.

yn smiled softly, feeling a little flustered that she was a hot topic in every university circle.

"those are beautiful, it's not weird that people are talking about them," she said, avoiding making it about herself.

"if i knew the author, i would ask him," when the professor began speaking, yn took her gaze away from the poem and toward him. why was everyone so certain it was a man who was writing those poems? what gave it away that she missed? "but since he's anonymous and I can't reach him, you're the next choice. i wanted my students to look at those poems, reflect on them, since they already took a special interest in those works, would you be okay with that?"

the first thought yn had was 'yes'. the entire class was thinking about how someone wrote about her, how she deserved to be written about, and how someone somewhere thought that yn was the most beautiful person.

but then another thought came up. 'this is for me.' It didn't feel like it was written for everyone to see. did she really want people to talk about it? disecting it and cutting where they thought the verse ended? it wasn't right. it was for her to see and understand. it was personal.

"i'm sorry, but i have to say no," she said, smiling apologetically.

𐙚˙⋆.🧸•₊✧⋆˚✒️｡⋆ᡣ𐭩

for a moment i planned to make yn agree to that offer and later write a chapter where akaashi listens to all the interpretations of his classmates and judges them and maybe he's fed up at the end of listening to people misinterpret his intentions and he says something

but i feel like making yn reject that offer was better idea, shows better that she treats those poems as something too close to her heart to just 'show off' to make people talk about her