"[...] i'm made for a soul-crushing romance, i need someone who won't be ashamed to worship the ground i walk on, because that's how i love, i give myself completely, i love every day as if there could be no tomorrow, i- god, do you know even one gu...
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akaashi felt almost every part of his body shivering from stress. he used to try to convince himself that it was excitement, but he no longer wanted to trick his mind. it was stress.
last night was supposed to be a simple outing to celebrate bokuto, not a night that would push him to do something so unlike himself. he was supposed to return home and possibly cry a little at the thought of his best friend leaving. he had teary eyes when he got home and locked himself in his room, but they never fell, he was too busy to think about it.
akaashi spent half of the night sitting with his journal, selecting a piece that showed that he was also a fan of soul-crushing romance.
he went to bed thinking and hoping that the next morning he wouldn't be as determined to share this piece with... so many people, just to ensure that yn saw it.
but he woke up and went about his day, and no matter how stressed he was, he was still determined to stick to the plan.
akaashi left his apartment carrying a bag on his shoulder. he knew it wasn't possible, but one book with a piece of paper stuck inside felt like he was carrying ten bricks. his literature professor was right, poetry can be heavy.
'what am even i doing?' he asked himself, almost laughing.
the plan was simple.
their university published a newspaper biweekly. on the very last page, there were a few columns filled with announcements, invitations, advertisements, and other things that people wanted to say anonymously to their community.
people sent them via email to the newspaper's editor, who printed selected pieces and then arranged them to fit the layout of the final page.
as a member of the newspaper club, akaashi knew exactly when their editor printed those emails and where they were stored.
he could send his poem, like everyone else who wanted to share something on the last page of the newspaper, but it would not guarantee him a spot in the column. he needed to be sure.
akaashi lived a few bus stops from the campus. he and kenma chose this apartment complex because it was close enough to the university to never be late, but far enough away to not be in the heart of students nightlife.
this time, he decided to walk. maybe to put off the moment when he plants the poem he already printed in the same format as other things sent in email, so the editor doesn't notice that it's not his choice. takahashi was a specific person. maybe he walked to help himself clear his mind, or maybe the cold weather would let him to see clearly whether it was a good idea or not.
what happens if he's caught? what if takahashi notices that he didn't choose this poem to the newspaper? what if he'll kick him out of the club? he needed that club, it gave him a lot of extra points in class and would look great on his resume.
the campus was quiet at that hour, most people had already finished their morning classes or hadn't begun their evening classes. akaashi liked the morning classes better and was relieved to learn that this semester, with the exception of one day when he was completely swamped with classes, he finished the majority of his classes around 2 pm.
yn would be happy to read a poem written just for her, right? she was a poet herself, and akaashi heard some of the songs she performed at open mics, so he wasn't worried that she wouldn't understand what he wrote.
her lyrics were always ambiguous, she never went into detail about what she meant, instead, she gave just enough to understand the meaning and told the rest of the story through music, changing the melody and tone of her voice.
she would know exactly what he was thinking while writing this piece. the thought was overwhelming, but that was the point. he wanted her to understand that she wasn't alone in her vision of what love should be.
the main building, like the rest of the campus, was mostly empty inside. that was a good thing because it meant fewer witnesses could see him and connect him to the case.
'god, since when does trying to be romantic feel like being a criminal?'
what if yn reads the poem and considers it too much? maybe what she said in the bar was just a result of her emotions at the time, and something as horrible as betrayal pushed her to exaggerate what she wanted?
akaashi stood in front of the club room. he took a deep breath before reaching for the door handle.
even if yn thinks it is too much, she will appreciate his poem. she wasn't the type to make fun of others, if she did, bokuto wouldn't adore her so much and compliment her personality whenever he could. she would probably consider it brave to share a piece of him openly. she would appreciate it, even if she didn't enjoy it.
the doors opened, and akaashi let out a startled gasp.
"sorry," takahashi said in his usual monotone tone.
he had to finish printing the emails right now; he was a creature of habit, and he always said it was the only thing that kept him going. takahashi was a med student, no one understood why on earth he was also an editor for the university newspaper, but no one questioned it. despite his apathetic posture and bored expression, he took his position as seriously as a med student with no free time could. he shared many responsibilities with club members, and almost everyone helped him when he asked, hoping that he would put a good word for them and they would become the next editor.
"i was just going in," akaashi explained.
"mhm, 'kay." takahashi waved his hand at him before leaving.
akaashi slid into the room, looking around to see if anyone else was there. the room was empty, but he still walked to his desk instead of takahashi's to proceed with his plan.
everyone was assigned a desk in a room and a school computer. they were required by school to write their articles here, but takahashi gave them complete freedom over where they wrote them until the articles were submitted to him before the deadline.
akaashi reached into his bag and pulled out a piece of paper with a printed poem.
he left the bag on his chair and went to takahashi's desk. with a fast heartbeat, he opened the drawer where the editor always kept email prints.
a quick look through the pages helped him decide which announcement he should switch for his confession of feelings. he needed to choose a page with the same amount of written text as what he wrote himself, so it wouldn't cause problems if it didn't fit on the last page.
he held up two papers, one he had written himself and one in which someone was trying to reprimand the people they were living with in the dorms for not cleaning the fridge.
he tried to be logical for a second. he was not doing things like this. he had never acted on impulse like that. sneaking around to confess to someone? it wasn't like him.
when he left his apartment, his hands were shivering, but now he could see clearly how he was shaking from stress. he was breathing heavily and felt his heart beating against his ribs.
a loud laugh in the hallway jolted him awake from his doubts. he sandwiched his poem between printed pages and carried the message for dormmates with him.
'i'm sorry, you'll have to live with a dirty fridge for a little longer.'
𐙚˙⋆.🧸•₊✧⋆˚✒️｡⋆ᡣ𐭩
guys it's like 35 degrees in my work place, if ya'll won't see a chapter tommorrow it means i died of heatstroke
next chapter will finally contain a poem and i'm kinda nervous because i wrote it myself, so again, please be nice if it's not as good as it's made out to be in the story 🙏
