To Second Chances [Craig x Tweek]

i'm sorry : 18

(I keep reminding myself that I have free will.)
Warnings:
Sh mentions
Sh

Sort of a flashback just in Craig's pov.
Craig pov:

All day, I was having urges. I knew it was bad, so I tried to delay doing it. But that didn't really get me anywhere.

All it got me to was sitting against my wall with my knife in my hand. I was hesitant this time. More hesitant than last time. I think I was scared of accidentally hurting my not fully healed ones.

I sighed and tried to do it, but I couldn't.

I watched my bedroom door open. Tolkien, one of my best friends, peeked his head in before stepping into my room. He saw me. I saw him. He saw my arm.

Neither of us said anything.

I rolled my sleeve down to hide it because somehow I thought that maybe if I did, he would unsee it. I was wrong.

Tweek and Clyde came into my room. They didn't see what Tolkien saw.

I don't know how badly this affects mine and Tolkien's friendship.

I just want to die right now.

I couldn't breathe. "Craig -" "What are you guys doing here."

Clyde looked at Tolkien.

"You guys weren't supposed to come here what-..." I paused. My heart was racing. I can't breathe.

Tweek got onto his knees and tried helping me. My two other friends left the room. I wasn't focused on anything.

"Craig...hey." He mumbled. I glanced at him. "Tweek-" I took a deep breath in, but it didn't work.

"Just breath with me." His voice rang in my ears.

I nodded and started to copy the way he was breathing. It felt stupid, but he was just trying to help.

I felt like my world was ending.

---(shutuppppp ik shhhh)

They've known for a couple of days now. I've tried to get Tolkien to not tell my mom, but he did. It made me upset, and then my mom started hiding all of the sharp objects in the house. She also called my psychiatrist and asked about the depression meds, and I've now started those.

Which I really didn't like.

If it's not numbness, it's a constant anxiety, which makes me feel sick.

It's Friday, and I didn't want to be at home with my mom, who would've been watching me intensely. So I talked to Tolkien, and he invited our little group over.

We were all sitting in his living room watching a movie. Tweek and I lay with each other on one couch, and Clyde and Tolkien were lying on the other. The difference was that tweek and I are cuddling, and they aren't.

Tweek had his arms wrapping around my waist with his head resting on my chest.

Normally, I would be all flustered, but I can't. I can't really feel anything. It's not that I don't love tweek. I do. It's just different. I think it's the meds. They just started to make me not feel anything. But I'd rather feel sad than this.

My hands were cupping tweeks face and messing with his hair as we watched the movie.

I was focusing more on him and less on the movie. The light from the TV softly lit up his face. His tired eyes focused onto the screen, blinking slowly.

I leaned down slightly and kissed the top of his head. He glanced up at me and smiled softly before laying his head back down.

His eyes slowly closed, and he fell asleep on me.