gamer girl wildest dreams

picnic

It's morning at 6:30 am. I wake up with Chris's arm and leg over me and Lee knows arm and leg over me.  I wiggling my way out. To walk to the bathroom.  I take a shower.  I stand there thinking how did this happen.  2 men in love with me. Can I make them both happy.  Why me? Ugh I'm always doing.  I feel hands on me it Lee know.

Lee know:  are you ok?  Your just standing there  zoning out.

Me: yes. Just going through my mental war bullshit. But I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you.

Lee know:  you didn't kitten. I just noticed you were gone.

Channie:  she ok?

Lee know:  I walked in to the bathroom and she was standing in the shower zoned out.

Channie:  yeah she does that.  We all know her mental disorders so when she's going through something or is in deep thoughts she will zone out.  It's her personal thing she calls it a mental war.  She's fine she's just processing what's going on in her head. 

Lee know:  ah that makes sense.  It's like she's having a anxiety attack so you basically have to pull her out of it?

Channie:  exactly.  She's been through alot Minho she'll be fine. She's a strong woman.  Very strong woman. If she allows it I'll tell you her story when she was a kid. Renee can I tell Minho?

Me: yes.

Channie:  when she was a kid her father would abuse her in all types of ways. He did it to her siblings, mom and everyone else he knew. Basically he was a monster.  She's told me everything that's happened to her in her life when we were on our honeymoon.

Lee know looks at me wide eyed with sympathy. 

Me: no Lee know don't do that to me. I don't want it. I don't want people sympathy.  I only tell what's happened to me so people understand why I  am the way I am. When you see me zone out like I'm not there I'm fighting my mental war's.  I trust everyone in this dorm. I love everyone in this dorm. It's just I'm fighting myself mentally.  Just know I'm fine. I just need someone to pull me out of it.

Lee know: I understand you now. So what I did was pull you out of your fight with yourself?

Me: more or less yes. I will let everyone know if I'm going to a dark place that I can't handle.  Ok? I promise. 

Channie:  we know baby girl.  We start back to work tomorrow. 

Me: yay I can't wait. 

Channie:  workaholic.

Me: you all are as well.  I'm just the assistant.  But you boy's are doing tv shows, interviews, music, music video's,  small mini skz code shows for stay, modeling for clothing companies,  not to mention your concerts and fan meets and greets. You guy's are extreme workaholics.

Lee know: now that someone on the outside pointed that out to me. I agree we are. He laughs.

Channie:  she knows our secrets. We must keep her. She knows to much. He laughs.

Lee know: she ain't going anywhere.  He smiles a evil grin.

Me: you all are evil.

Channie:  come back to bed and let us cuddle you.

Lee know:  Renee do you think you can get used to this situation? I do care and  love you.

Me: this is definitely new. But I'm trying. I want my husband to be happy and my boyfriend to be happy. 

Channie:  I am  happy baby.

Lee know: me too.

Me: I'll try my hardest guy's. 

I hear my iPad ding.

Channie:  well Renee has work. 

I go get my iPad.  I see a message from jyp.

Jyp:  Renee

I've looked into Brianne for the hair and makeup job for Han. She will start tomorrow.  Good choice on picking her. She has all the right requirements.  As stray kids assistant your doing well. Keep up the good work Mrs Bang. Thank you for keeping the boys happy and taking care of them.

Me: Han got a new hair and makeup artist.  It's the girl I picked. 

Lee know: good job kitten. 

Channie:  you are amazing baby girl. 

Me: thank you. 

Lee know: does Jyp need you in the office today?

Me: no. just sent an email. 

Channie:  we should go do something today.

Me: like what?

Lee know: a picnic.  It's sunny today so let's go enjoy it. 

Channie:  perfect.  Let's get dressed.  Maybe go to the store and go to the lake? Renee likes it there.

Lee know: sounds good. 

We all get dressed and head out.