A Scandalous Pair | Kim Mingyu FF | Svt

Mingyu

I sat alone in my apartment, the silence and emptiness of the space weighing heavily on my heart. The past week had felt like an eternity, each day stretching out long and slow. I missed her, missed the sound of her voice, the feel of her hand in mine. I replayed the events of that morning over and over in my mind, the possibility, the image of Do-hee and Park Gwanhee burned into my mind like a brand. The anger and hurt I felt towards her still simmered just beneath the surface, but a deep ache of loneliness and sadness was slowly taking over. But every time I thought about her, memories of that morning flashed through my mind, and the anger flared up again. I knew that I needed time away from her, time to sort out my own emotions and thoughts. But as the days had gone by, the loneliness and solitude had begun to weigh heavily on me. I glanced around the empty apartment, my eyes falling on the dinner table where I used to cook for her. The feeling of contentment and happiness that I would get whenever I saw her enjoying my cooking was unexplainable. The memories were bittersweet, and my heart ached with a mixture of anger and longing. I even had called up Wonu hyung, needing to talk to someone about what was going on in my head. 

"I just don't know what to do," I confessed, my voice laced with frustration. "It's been a week since it all happened, and I still can't stop feeling betrayed and hurt. But at the same time, I miss her so damn much. It's driving me crazy."

"I get it, Mingyu," Wonwoo hyung replied gently. "It's a tough situation. You have every right to feel the way you do." He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "But, have you considered talking to her? She's probably hurting too, you know."

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face in frustration. "I know," I mumbled. "But every time I think about her, all I can think about is what happened, and the hurt just come rushing back. I don't know if I can talk to her without saying things at her that I might probably regret later on."

"It's normal," he reassured me. "But sometimes talking and expressing how you feel can help both of you process this better." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Maybe it's time for both of you to have an honest conversation. Set aside the hurt and anger for a moment, and focus on understanding each other's perspective. I mean I'm still quite shocked that you love her but that doesn't matter. You knew what you're getting yourself into when you decided to like her. So don't screw things up from your point, Mingyu. I'm saying this as your friend not your secretary."

I sighed again, a mixture of frustration and uncertainty etched on my face. I knew that hyung had a point, but the thought of talking to her scared me. 

'What if I said something I couldn't take back? What if the negative emotions get the best out of me?' 

"I don't know, hyung," I mumbled. "I just can't think straight right now. My mind is a mess of emotions." 

"I know, Mingyu," he replied. "But sometimes the best way to sort out the mess in your mind is to talk it out with someone. Especially with Do-hee. We both know her reputation is equally messy." He paused for a moment. "You deserve clarity and closure, just as much as she does. Holding onto these feelings and being apart isn't helping either of you. It's about time to decide whether you're really ready to take all her mess. It's not right to leave her alone when she needs you the most. It's not fair to both you and her."

My shoulders slumped at his words. I knew he was right. Leaving her alone while she was dealing with the aftermath of Park Gwanhee's scheme and her own guilt was not fair to either of us. "You're right," I eventually murmured, my voice hoarse. "But I'm just... I'm scared, hyung. What if I don't have what it takes to be really stay beside her? What if this breaks us for good? What if I'm not strong enough...What if I'm the one who hurts her..."