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On the same day, I tried to kill Mori, but he was gone. The mansion was on fire, and he had disappeared. I was speechless, and those four days were the worst of my life. I couldn't concentrate and wasn't fully aware of my surroundings. I filled out paperwork incorrectly, went to the wrong missions, wandered around my room, thinking, and people talked to me, but I didn't register it. Even Megumi noticed.
He looked at me concerned, "What's wrong?"
I was deep in thought.
"Gojo sensei."
How do I get away from her?
"GOJO SENSEI."
I was startled and turned to him, "What is it?"
He looked at me, confused, "Oh, nothing."
I would occasionally visit the infirmary to check on her, but never close enough to want to touch her. I was sitting in the office when she suddenly burst in. She looked so worn out, and I unconsciously dug my fingernails into my thighs to control myself, to stop myself from running to her, kissing her forehead, and telling her everything would be okay. She was still wearing the clothes from that evening, looking utterly exhausted. She had become thinner, her face was pale, and her eyes showed only hurt... it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I can't afford to be weak now. She leaned on the couch, and her accusations felt like swords in my heart, each movement making more blood flow out. She slammed the door shut.
I trembled slightly. My thighs began to hurt intensely, and I jerked my hand away, realizing I was unconsciously hurting myself. I took three deep breaths.
I can't be weak now... she'll hurt me like Suguru, and no one will be there to pick up the pieces of my shattered walls. I would be destroyed on the ground, and nothing could rebuild me. I have to keep ignoring her, hurting her verbally so she detaches from me, so she hates me, because even though I once intended to use her, I can't bring myself to do it anymore... when did I start loving her so deeply?
I clenched my hand into a fist and angrily threw the papers aside. "FUCK."
In the morning, when I woke up, I got a text message that we were all summoned to the teachers' room to discuss the current situation. I nearly crushed my phone in my hand. Shit, she'll be there too. I teleported directly there and walked into the room. They were all sitting on the floor except for her, of course. She lay there with her legs pulled up, staring at the ceiling. She glanced at me briefly but then looked away. Her dark circles were proof that she had been crying. I swallowed hard. I sat down near her. Her kimono hung down at the sides, revealing her legs even though she was wearing tights. Control yourself, Satoru.
