Solarballs Oneshots || 🚀‼️

41 | Solarballs Rant 3

A/N: Ooohh man... I just stumbled apart of the fandom I did NOT want to see and now I'm gonna rant about it. Also, feel free to leave your opinions on each paragraph.

Some of these are directed to a specific person who's somewhat popular in the fandom and I do NOT like them 💀 respectfully. Actually, no. I did try speaking to them respectfully and they started attacking my friends, so friendly fire is OFF.

Content Warning:
- Swearing, lots of swearing.
- Weird ass ships.
- The author (Moogie) losing their shit.

Enjoy! And thank you sosomuch for all the support, you guys are so cool.
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This is an open letter to a specific portion of the fandom. I've written this in the span of one night after going down a rabbit hole of the really, really bad side of this fandom. You are an absolute embarrassment and I'm ashamed I'm in the same fandom as you and that other hardworking, creative, amazing people are being compared to you sick fuckers.

There's been a semi popular person in the fandom who ships Iris x Earth, Uranus x Earth, and Planet X x Earth. Uranus x Earth is one of my least favorite ships, but I can tolerate the ship on its own, but I just don't think it makes a lot of sense, and I understand that it's a rare pair, but rare pairs need to make some sort of sense, YK? I just don't see a relationship between em working out, that's it.

Anyways, the rest of the ships are invalid. That's all I'm gonna say. Planet X wouldn't even have an idea of who Earth is- isn't he ejected and far past the Kuiper Belt? He would've known Proto Earth, maybe, but there's just.. no romantic correlation between them. But it's not as bad as Iris x Earth, I'll say that. And you guys know I don't fucking like Iris x Earth.

"M-m-makes me u-u-uncomfortable that y-you say this stuff about my comfort s-ship—🥺🥺🥺" no one fucking cares that your attention depleted pointy chinned paparazzi pepperoni pink ass is scared by a few capital letters that you'd learn in the 1st grade and nor do we care about your headcanons of Iris x Earth

Jupiter would NOT flip out at finding out Uranus and Earth were dating- why would he? If anything, he'd be supportive. He's a relatively calm person, and he wouldn't try attacking Uranus over that.

"If you read mythology you'd understand-" bitch PLEASE. You wouldn't know SHIT about mythology if that's the only reason you ship Uraearth. Aren't they a toxic couple and related..? And in that same context there would've been a lot of less-than-morally-okay relationships, mainly between Jupiter and his moons.

Earth has made fun of Uranus SEVERAL times, not very crush-like behavior lol! BUT I can tolerate the ship and sometimes, rarely, I enjoy it if it's written right and it has some nice in character development. It's way better than THE OTHER SHIPS MENTIONED.

"Iris x Earth haters DNI!" I don't even want to fucking interact with you in the first place. You want to kiss me so bad right now on your crusted over towel textured light bulb laced and lit lips that'd you'd tell me all these things you've collected about me. So in opposing to that, just like how your facial structure looks like your ass was literally handed to you like a mask filled with beetle bug maggot eggs, let's just say my wishes aren't too fair on your behalf. My hopes are that, like the pro ship lover spaghetti textured ass hair  you are, you take home this burly bear bitten curly bearded man home from your little beat down bar and get a fist shoved so far up your ass that your organs are pulled out like silly string in a line of blood as you try to shriek out as you're choking in your blood filled mouth. You look like the vomit mess of two chimps all the while trying to rip each other to bits and pieces. This is getting a bit lengthy, so in conclusion: suck your own shit and choke on it you blanket banging teeth hanging loipop sucking ass fucking stool bench of a dipshitting prickful dickhead.

Not to mention you ship URANUS X NEPTUNE? And your excuse is that "I don't think planets can be related" meanwhile the show states SEVERAL reasons on why they're implied to be "related" and they see each other as FAMILY. Venus and Earth, while they are called "sibling planets" the show never outright implies that they see each other as family! Just that Venus says: "why shouldn't we be friends?"

You also have this thing for uploading explicit content on TikTok between pro ships like Neptune x Iris. You fucking disgust me. You also made noncon rule 34 of them, too! And you also have the same Broken AU copy and paste AU where Jupiter has red eyes and kills his moons and then Earth kills Luna. Earth would NEVER kill Luna! And Jupiter would NEVER intentionally kill his moons! Jupiter would NOT maim Uranus or Neptune, that's genuinely so out of character it pisses me OFF.

And of course you got an airplane as a pfp is the perfect representation of your kingdom sized bed breaking metal bending headache sending migraine ending echolocator you got on your head even them belugas jealous of that gigantic sound sonar wave fabricator you coulda found that submersible with that shiny light reflecting locator of yours so bright itd light up the ocean like on oh holly jolly Christmas Eve you trombone sucking fucking tone mucking chair tucking track fitting rock hitting pillow kissing prick of the fucking lint on that musty ass chair you sit your ass on everyday with some new thing up your ass every day like a mix and matcher you vile foul loathsome little cockroach

NOT TO MENTION YOUR ART. The way you draw Iris is fucking horrific. He looks like a rotting French fry at those pelican decks but he also looks like if a beavers cousin named weiber made a wish to become human. He looks like the personification of Swiss cheese if Swiss cheese looked like a giraffes head. His head dents so deep that's how his bangs flow out like a pack of saggy fries. As if an Australian had a baby with a bowl of Mac n cheese he could probably scratch his brain through his head. EUGH.

You mischaracterize every single character you draw and you make one of the most horrific content I've ever seen in this fandom. And this isn't really for one person but moreover for a BUNCH of people who draw/write or endorse this shit.

I might delete this later, you guys can tell me if I went too far. That's okay! I do think the line might be a little behind me? I'm a human, so constructive criticism is helpful.

As always, I love you guys! You are all amazing, supportive, inspiring, talented, and AWESOME people and I look forward to everyone's votes, follows, and comments. So thank you.