Solarballs Oneshots || 🚀‼️

54 | Earth + Venus - "Early Festivities"

A/N: Hi! This was based off one of the headcanons in my earlier chapters. The rocky planets have always been fun to write, what can I say?

STORY OUTLINE: Earth turns Venus into a Christmas tree. Why? Because he was bored. Earth acts a LITTLE obnoxious in this fanfic, but he doesn't do it with bad intentions. He just wants to have fun.

TIMELINE: Ambiguous | After Earth's Redemption + Moon Revolution

SHIPS: none explicitly written

THIS STORY CONTAINS:
- SASSY MERCURY COMEBACK

AUTHORS NOTE: Uranep is an ugly ass ship name

—

Earth was about to tear the Milky Way in half by how aggressively he was searching for something. Loud thudding and banging was all that could be heard. "No, no," he spat as he materialized different things. He rifled through a pile of items, examining each one critically. "Too casual," he said, throwing a t-shirt to the side. "Too showy," he muttered, discarding a sequined dress. "Too ugly," he declared, holding up a patchy sweater with a grimace before throwing it away.

"EARTH."

"What?" Earth finally stopped, looking at the other person in his proximity. He cracked a grin. "Well, if it isn't Venus, my favorite hotpocket."

Venus sighed, feeling the beginnings of the headache that was always the side-effect of talking to the habitable planet. "What the hell are you doing? I can hear your racket from my orbit."

Earth turned around, looking back at the growing pile of clothing, then back at Venus. "Oh, right, about that... I want you to wear something for me."

"Oh, FUCK no!" Venus exclaimed, already knowing what Earth had planned. He always made him suffer when he did this kind of stuff. Last time, the dress Earth forced him to wear caught on fire. "Ask Mars or something, anybody but me."

"I did consider that, but Mars is with Luna and Luna is with Mars. And Mercury..." Earth pretended to genuinely think on that, and Venus had never seen anything less sincere in his whole life. "Yeah no, I need you to try this."

Venus began walking away, Earth following suit. Venus was muttering angrily, and although Earth couldn't decipher what he was saying, he spent enough time around him to know that it wasn't pretty. Venus normally couldn't go a full sentence without swearing when he was mad.

One thing Earth noticed about Venus is that whenever he was upset, all his brain power would be consumed by the words that would come out of it and his body just did whatever the hell it wanted.

"Earth, I swear to the Sun—" Venus began, whirling around to face the other. A sudden idea sparked in Earth's mind, and he flipped his jacket like a charming gentleman. Venus paused, staring at Earth for a few milliseconds before bobbing into a curtsy.

Venus straightened back up, continuing to speak without even realizing. Earth let out an undignified snort of laughter, ignoring Venus' glare. "It's not a dress this time, just.. some early festivities," Earth patted Venus on the shoulder. Before Venus could even respond, Earth snatched him and sat him down into a chair he spawned out of nowhere.

Earth hesitantly stepped forward, then leaped, pinning Venus' limbs down so he could tie him up with duct tape. He also made sure to tape Venus' mouth shut. "I really don't mean to hurt you, I just want to see if this costume will work for upcoming Christmas, okay?" Earth spoke, raising his hands in a placid gesture.

Venus simply stared, a deadpanned look on his face.

"...Right, yeah," Earth nodded, catching the hint. He bit his cheek, realizing how awkward this entire situation was. "Okay, whatever, let's just get this done with." He began searching for different materials out of random boxes that he materialized. He needed a really, really big tree, then some ornaments, a star, and some present boxes.

"Hey, Earth, still working on that plan of yours?" Venus' head shot up with alarm, eyes wide, just as Mercury wandered into Earth's orbit, a smug grin on his face.

Mercury's face went slack at the sight in front of him. Earth was staring at him while Venus struggled wildly in his bonds, a stream of loud muffled swear words making its way out the duct tape. Slowly, Mercury began to grin. "Oh, I have to know the story behind this. This is too good!"

Earth blinked. "I can explain..?" he trailed off, shrugging.

"Please do!" Mercury had to raise his voice to be heard over Venus' shrieking.

"I wanted to have him be my model, but he didn't really listen. So I uh... improvised."

"And it actually worked?" Mercury's amazement was obvious.

"Actually, he probably would've dislocated my nose if I didn't explain myself. But yes, he calmed down. Until you walked in." Both turned to watch Venus. He glared at them, hellfire burning in his eyes. His struggling was violent, about to knock the chair down with him. Mercury and Earth watched in amusement as Venus' struggles did absolutely nothing. After a few more moments of fruitless attempts of escape, Venus deflated. Somehow.

Earth clapped his hands together. "Let's get this show on the road, then!" he grinned, rummaging through the supplies. Within minutes, Earth had pulled out an assortment of green construction paper, glitter, glue, and a variety of holiday decorations.

Venus sat still, trying not to fidget as Earth wrapped him in green paper from head to toe, transforming him into a human Christmas tree. Earth creativity knew no bounds as he meticulously added tinsel, ornaments, and even a strand of battery-operated fairy lights. He raised an eyebrow as he watched Earth struggle to dress him, knowing that he was tied to a chair, so naturally it was hard.

A mischievous look came onto Mercury's face, admiring Earth's handiwork. "Wait, Earth, let me," he interrupted. He stepped towards Venus, who went rigid, his expression hardening. He pulled out a gold sparkly star and carefully placed it on top of Venus' head. "Perfect!"

Earth finally took the duct tape off Venus' mouth, throwing it off somewhere. "So, Venus, what do you think?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips, tilting his head as he examined Venus.

"I'm not playing cards with you guys anymore," Venus spoke bluntly.

"Sure, whatever," Earth replied. His gaze drifted towards Venus' hair, which was now messed up and all over the place due to his struggles. Earth stepped closer, smoothing his hair and putting it back into place. "Better." Mercury looked at Earth questioningly. "Not that you're ugly, of course!" Earth quickly added.

Mercury ripped the rest of the duct tape off, and Venus was now free. He stumbled when he stood up, quickly catching himself. "You owe me so much for that," Venus grumbled, looking down at himself.

"Come on, what can possibly top a living Christmas tree?" Earth laughed, a grin on his face. Beside him, Mercury slowly took out his phone and snapped a picture of Venus' outfit. Mercury quickly stuffed his phone back into his pocket before Venus could notice.

"Well for one, do my paperwork." Venus said, and Earth's expression dropped. "Mhm, that's what I thought."

—

How do you end a FANFICTION. Anyways... Hope you enjoyed that? A little early for Christmas chapters, but it's never too late for celebration in the United States I guess?