WHALE TALE || JAY P.

XXXI

PART IV - 'Our Whale Tale'

Y

A month has passed by without a single hint of Jay.

People have stopped talking about him,

Nor pay attention to the news.

It was as though everyone else had closed their curiosities upon the case.

Everyone,

But me.

I was still determined to find out the truth,

To hear from him.

I want to believe in him.

Day by day,

My faith in him could only grow fainter and fainter,

Till I would have chose to run away,

To finally listen to the others,

That there was truly...

Truly...

No hope after all.

My heart was aching.

So was my body, my head and my thoughts.

It felt so painful that I could feel the way darkness had engulfed me, my vision, my world.

It's like the walls are caving in.

Sometimes I feel like giving up,

But I just can't.

(Lyrics Credit: "In my Blood" by Shawn Mendes)

I have to trust him, I know it.

But with all these silence around me,

I can't help but feel...

So helpless.

"What can I do to hear from you...?" I thought to myself.

Heavy tears came rolling down my cheeks over and over again like a waterfall as my eyes began to swell like its daily routine.

What must I do to help you...?

It felt as though millions of blades had come piercing through my heart non-stop, till the point I swear I could no longer feel anything even though the pain could have possibly killed me.

I can't live like this...

I don't want to.

There was this bit of sour sensation that created a lump down my throat as I held my breath, refusing to pour my feelings out at once like how I have done it for the past month.

I thought I had stopped crying...

But why am I still...?

The feeling of 'not being able to feel anything anymore' did occur for a brief moment when I had started to lose all the faith I had for us.

But now, as I had slowly begun to realise how things have started to be casted away and that all the tragedies have gradually passed on like nothing had happened really, really hurt me.

I'm the only one like this.

I could feel the strong drum in my chest that pricked every time the heart had proceeded to beat, and with every breath I took, there was only an ache that was planted in me.