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SONDER | 23

— YOUR LOSING —

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[1996]



The group huddled around the fireplace, the flames casting flickering shadows on their weary faces. The cold was biting, seeping through their thin clothing, making the warmth of the fire all the more precious. Shauna and Akilah had spent the day foraging, returning with a handful of grubs, the meager bounty a testament to their dwindling resources.

One by one, they accepted their share of the grubs, their expressions written with resignation. Evelyn took her portion, the sight and smell of the insect turning her stomach. She held the grub in her hand, staring at it with a sense of dread. The thought of eating it made her nauseous, but she knew she had to survive.

Around her, the others began to eat, their faces contorted with disgust but also a grim resolve. Shauna watched them closely, her eyes flicking over to Jackie, who still hadn't made a move to eat her share.

Jackie looked up at her, her expression hollow. "Why? What does it matter, at this point?" she replied, her voice tinged with defeat. "Even Evelyn doesn't want to eat."

Evelyn glanced up, irritation flashing in her eyes. "Why bring me into this?" she muttered, her tone defensive.

Before the tension could escalate further, Mari suddenly stood up, her face twisted with frustration. "Okay, I—I can't do this anymore," she declared.

She grabbed a bottle from her belongings, its contents sloshing around inside. Coach Ben looked at her, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. "Mari, what's that?" he asked cautiously.

Mari held the bottle up, her expression defiant. "It's some berries I was trying to save, but I think they might have turned into booze?" she explained. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a drink."

Evelyn smiled. "Sick."

Taissa frowned. "Is it even safe?"

Coach Ben interjected, his voice dry. "Does it matter at this point?"

Evelyn glanced at Coach Ben and then back at Mari. "He's right. Screw it."

Mari nodded, a hint of a smile on her lips. "I have a few more bottles."

Jackie perked up slightly. "If we have booze, let's have a party."

Taissa scoffed. "Yeah. 'Cause we've got so much to celebrate."

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