high rise hearts ☆ lifesteal smp au

𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐋'𝐒 𝐆𝐂 ✪✦

𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲: chatfic/shitpost
𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀: clownzy/branzypierce, swagdoons
𝘁𝘄: i smash the 4th wall
𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: n/a (kind of inspired by zenzficz's comment: "HELP THIS IS SO SILLY GOOFY LIKE THOSE OLD GACHA VIDEOS FROM YEARS AGO" this isn't based off a gacha vid but it has the silly vibes + crazy author in the bg)
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁: the hrh!lifestealers' crazy af gc

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𝐏𝐎𝐕: hm

> 🦜: GM GUYS @everyone
> clamor of everyone getting online, save for a few sleeping peeps
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: omg leave me alone
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: it is 3 am and i am tired as fuck
> 🦜: sounds like a you problem
> gremlin: GOOOD MORNING GUYS
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: WASSUP
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: stfu squiddo and spoke
> gremlin: why whatd i do 😭
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: ash ur mean
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: you pinged me
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): just turn your notifs off ash
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i cant my phone is broken or sm
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): buy a new phone then?
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: not all of us are rolling in money redd
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): ill buy you one then lol
> MAPIC: i ship
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: stfu mapicc nobody asked
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): be nice
> <<<pangolins: what
> <<<pangolins: whats going on
> <<<pangolins: i was mowing my lawn
> MAPIC: pangi u don't have a lawn
> MAPIC: u live on the 3rd story of an apartment
> <<<pangolins: HEY DONT DOX ME
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: its ok i alr have ur full address, ss number, all ur passwords and ur credit card info
> <<<pangolins: yall are mean
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: ok guys imma dox him yall ready?
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): ash we dont dox ppl here, this is a safe environment :]
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: shut up or ill dox u too
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): we live in the same house man, youd dox urself lol
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: I SHIP TOO
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: im so done
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: gm guys
> gremlin: *gasp*
> gremlin: the DEADLIEST criminal in NYC is here!!!
> Branzy 🔪⛓: *gasp*
> Branzy 🔪⛓: my BF is here <3
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: aw
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: gm branzy :D
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: yall are so sappy istg
> gremlin: its adorable thoooo
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): u act like ur not sappy
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: IM NOT
> 🦜: sure lmao
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: dont you dare parrot
> parrot leaks several very incriminating photos of ash and redd being cuddly
> KABNOODLE: AWW ASHH
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: NOOOOO
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: DELETE THOSE RN.
> 🦜: make me
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: WHERED YOU EVEN GET THOSE
> 🦜: redd's entire snap is filled with em tbh
> KABNOODLE: THATS SO SWEET OMG
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: KAB STFU
> KABNOODLE: heyy thats mean >:C
> KABNOODLE: @gremlin help meee
> gremlin: ashh be nice!!
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: leave me the hell alone
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: you should start being nicer ash.
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i listen to nobody
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): uh huh
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: shut up
> Branzy 🔪⛓: listen to my bf >:C
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: .
> leow0ok (inactive): whys the chat so active
> leow0ok (inactive): i usually get on here and the last msg was from last night?
> leow0ok (inactive): oh parrot whyd you ping everyone lol
> 🦜: i was bored
> leow0ok (inactive): oh ok
> leow0ok (inactive): well i gotta go to work, cya guys
> gremlin: BYEE LEO
> MAPIC: bye nobody will miss u :D
> leow0ok (inactive): stfu mapicc
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: yeah mapicc be nice
> MAPIC: no ur bossy
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: oh ur dead for that
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): gl with that lmao
> KABNOODLE: whens ur next date with ash
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: what the hell
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): idk
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): i havent worked that out yet
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: stop doing this publicly omg
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): wanna come over at 6 sat? u should be up by then lol
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: fine
> KABNOODLE: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: stfu
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): alr imma go make breakfast
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: make me sm
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): i will if you behave lol
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: ughh fine.
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): :]
> MAPIC: @everyone CLOWN KILLED ME >:C
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: deserved
> Branzy 🔪⛓: deserved
> MAPIC: STFU
> Cube!: guys stop pinging me
> Cube!: im busy rn
> MAPIC: ur always busy cube
> Cube!: well i AM
> Cube!: im EMPLOYED RN
> MAPIC: lol imagine
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: dont you work at mcdonalds mapicc?
> MAPIC: uhh
> jumperyou <3: hey guys!!
> KABNOODLE: hi jumper!!
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: stop being so nice it gives me a headache
> gremlin: ash! be nicee
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i literally could care less
> gremlin: ill ping your bf
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: dont you dare
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i need food
> gremlin: @Reddoons (business inquiries in bio)
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): ash whatd i tell you
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: im sorryyy
> jumperyou <3: couples be like
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: oml redd theyre all bullying me
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): lol
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: this isnt funny
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: it kind of is
> parker2: @everyone pancakes or waffles?
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): pancakes
> parker2: ur a monster yk that right?
> Cube!: STOP PINGING MEE
> MAPIC: IMAGINE BEING EMPLOYED LOLL
> MAPIC: @everyone
> MAPIC: @everyone
> MAPIC: @everyone
> leow0ok (inactive): why am i being pinged
> 🦜: mapiccs annoying cube
> 🦜: and rek wants to know who likes pancakes so he can berate them
> leow0ok (inactive): oh
> <<<pangolins: hi again guys
> <<<pangolins: sorry i was feeding my dog
> MAPIC: you dont have a dog
> MAPIC: your apt owner doesnt allow pets
> <<<pangolins: oh
> ZAM👑: someone called me?
> gremlin: nope but hi anyways!
> ZAM👑: aw D:
> ZAM👑: anyways i came on here to remind spoke he has therapy today
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: oops
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: shit i forgot again
> KABNOODLE: you need to stop forgetting your therapy spoke
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: its not my fault its hard to remember
> bk ☆: hey guys
> 🦜: who invited you to the gc
> bk ☆: i did
> bk ☆: i come from beyond the 4th wall
> bk ☆: which i just smashed with my imaginary sledgehammer btw
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i give up trying to make sense of this
> bk ☆: alright guys i think i typed enough for one day, bye
> KABNOODLE: bye random stranger! idk what you mean by that tho

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𝗮/𝗻: writing this was a rollercoaster lol ☆ bk

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1080