high rise hearts ☆ lifesteal smp au

𝐁𝐄𝐓 ✧✯

𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲: normal oneshot (fluff?)
𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀: none (platonic spacewaffles)
𝘁𝘄: n/a
𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: @astral0life
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁: planet takes a stupid bet and gets very drunk, so bacon has to babysit the silly guy

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𝐏𝐎𝐕: baconwaffles

Bacon loved his friends, he really did. But sometimes he wished they were a tiny bit less... dumb. You know? (Okay, so maybe he was a bit dumb too, and therefore in no place to say that. But whatever.)
This was the thought that popped up in his head as he watched his friend Planet prepare to down an entire bottle of vodka, surrounded by a cheering crowd of other Lifestealers. He shook his head in exasperation, the only person not excited for what Planet was about to do.
Planet didn't usually drink, but Zam had convinced him today, in the form of a nice cash bet. If he drank the whole bottle, he'd get $100. Obviously, Planet had money already, but who refuses that sort of cash?
So Bacon watched as, in a couple large gulps, the liquid is drained from the tinted glass. Planet was making a show of tipping it up and chugging it, which was met with even more cheering. He swung the bottle down onto the table with a clink of glass against wood, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and laughing. Everybody cheered louder. Bacon didn't know that sort of volume was possible. (Well, he did. They were the Lifestealers, after all.)
"Hah, see Zam? I did it, now fork the stuff over-" Planet reaches across the table to Zam, who promptly forks over a $100 Monopoly bill. "Oh, screw you..."
Bacon can't help but laugh at this. You can't exactly trust Zam, or anyone here in general, to hold their word when it comes to anything. If anything, that makes the whole situation more funny.

It's only been a few minutes, and Planet has already dissolved into a drunken mess. He and Planet are chilling on the couch, watching Mapicc try to sing karaoke (as expected, it doesn't sound any different from anyone else), with Planet leaning on his shoulder and complaining constantly.
"Ugh, it's too BRIGHT in hereeee...." Planet draws out the last word, shuffling next to Bacon in an attempt to get more comfortable. Bacon, who has lived through the effects of alcohol, knows he'll be just fine, but reassures him anyways.
"You'll be fine in a few hours. Also, the lights are literally off." Bacon rolls his eyes, even though Planet can't see, now busy cheering on Ro, who's stepped up to sing a duet song with Mapicc.
"But the TV-" Planet is squinting at the mostly dark screen- the only bright thing on there are the flashes of karaoke lyrics.
"The TV is basically all black, too..." Bacon sighs. "If you really think it's too bright out here, should we just head out to the porch?" Planet nods and stumbles along beside him towards the porch, clinging tightly to his sleeve as he tried to balance enough to walk.
When they walk outside, they're greeted by the strong smell of charcoal, smoke and barbeque, drifting from the small portable grill Redd is currently manning. Bacon's fine with it, but Planet scrunches up his nose, ready to complain again: "What's that smelllll? It stinks-"
Bacon elbows him. "That's barbeque, and it smells godly." He says this firmly, even though Planet will probably never share his fondness for it.
"Godly? If this is fucking godly I don't want to see heaven..." Bacon's surprised by Planet's use of a swear. He doesn't do it often, though the alcohol probably played a part in it.
"Whatever, you're the one who wanted to go outside-" Bacon navigates them through the small crowd on the porch to two empty lawn chairs in the corner, reasonably distanced from everyone else.
"I'm hungryyyyy," Planet whines the second they sit down. Bacon wonders why he's signed up for this.
"We literally just sat down, dude. Couldn't you have asked me earlier?" His irritation is overshadowed by Planet's own- he's complaining again.
"But I wasn't hungryyy thennn! NOW I'm hungry, I need foooooood-" Bacon places a hand on his face to shut him up, then heaves himself off his chair.
"Alright then, what do you want to eat?" He turns back to face Planet, still sprawled on the chair and staring up into space.
"Uhhhhhhh-" Planet doesn't look away from the dusty porch ceiling. "Ummmm- hmmm..." Bacon's growing a tiny bit tired of waiting for him to stop making his thinking noises and actually provide an answer.
"Look, if you don't know I guess I'll just dig something up by myself-" Bacon sighed, as Planet didn't stop making his noises anyways.
A few minutes later, Bacon returned with a few skewers of barbecued meat, drizzled generously with ketchup, on a floppy paper plate. "Here, want some?"
"Uhhh-" Planet reaches out for a skewer and gingerly places a piece of meat into his mouth. He chews for a moment, then his entire face wrinkles up. "This tastes weirdddddd-"
"Well, not my fault you didn't tell me what you wanted to eat." Bacon shrugs and sits beside him again, taking a bite of his own skewer of meat. It's chewy and salty, with a hint of smoky flavor.
"I want something elseeeee-" Planet puts his skewer back on the plate, leaning against the back of the chair.
"What, ice cream?" Bacon says jokingly. Planet nods anyways. "Of course..."

The party's dying down, and Bacon and Planet are some of the only people still lingering. They're on the couch watching some random sports game, with Bacon cheering on his team and Planet half-napping on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his sweater, as usual.
The game's almost ended, and he's starting to feel his exhaustion get to him. He's probably going to have to go home soon. He looks over to Planet, who doesn't look like he'll be moving anytime soon, and nudges him awake.
"Psst. Planet. I'm heading home soon..." Planet shuffles beside him, rubbing his eyes as if he'd just taken a five hour nap.
"But whyyyyyyy..." Planet grumbles, clinging tighter to Bacon's sleeve. He should have expected this sort of reaction. "I wanna stay and cuddle moreeeeee."
"Uh huh, I'm really tired though..." Bacon looks back to the TV. The announcers are saying their final goodbyes to the audience. "I really need to go home and take a nap-"
"Can I go with you then? Pleaseeee?" Planet's grip is just about crushing his arm now.
"Planet, you need to get home too, you know- you have a house and you need to sleep too if you want this alcohol to leave your system." Bacon scrambles up from the couch and starts making his way to the front door, Planet still stumbling beside him.
"Uh uh, you have a bed. I can use that..." Planet yawns, watching Bacon toe on his sneakers. Bacon kicks Planet's sneakers into his reach, and he clumsily begins to slip them on.
Bacon internally facepalms. Planet probably isn't going to give up his stance on the matter. "God, fine..." They've exited the apartment by now and are headed downstairs.
"Yayyyy! Can I ride next to you??" Planet asks, giving Bacon a pleading, innocent look. Bacon hesitates, about to say no, then realizes Planet will probably ride next to him anyway.
"Fine." Bacon swings open the door leading outside, Planet close beside him as they walk along the sidewalk to Bacon's car, a little ways away.
"Yayyyy! I get to ride next to Bacon~" Planet says in a singsongy voice. It doesn't sound any better than Planet thinks it does, but Bacon doesn't comment.
He slides into the driver's seat, parting ways with Planet so he can sit on the passenger's side. "Remember to buckle up."

─── ⋅☆⋅ ───

𝗮/𝗻: sorry if this one's a little short! i rushed it a tiiiiiny bit so i could publish it today lol ☆ bk

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