high rise hearts ☆ lifesteal smp au

𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐂𝐄 ✦

(this isn't related to the story but i've gotten 0 questions on the q&a. figured y'all should actually read that, it's under 8/6/2024 lol. i'll extend it for another week and give y'all some time to check it out! you guys remind me of my 8th grade health class, the teacher yapped for an hour and nobody dared to ask a single question)

𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲: normal oneshot (humor/fluff)
𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀: mentions of clownzy, minor swagdoons (and platonic ash and squiddo)
𝘁𝘄: n/a
𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: n/a
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁: squiddo decides teaching ash how to ice skate is a good idea

─── ⋅☆⋅ ───

𝐏𝐎𝐕: ash

"C'mon dude, hURRY UP!" Squiddo half shouted, half grunted, the sentence punctuated by their gasps for air as they continued trying to drag a very reluctant-looking Ashswag by the arm down the stone brick path. His shoes were planted firmly in the cracks of the sidewalk, and every time Squiddo made progress, he either hooked his feet into a new section or stumbled backwards.
"Dude, it isn't THAT bad! I promise I won't, like, push you over or anything..." Squiddo puffed, changing the position of Ash's arm so they could grip it better. They stumbled forwards another foot or so, allowing them a nice view of the fancy outdoor ice skating rink just up ahead, framed by trees bare of leaves and passersby in puffy coats.
"I cannot trust you, Squiddo." Ash grumbled, although he didn't struggle as Squiddo hauled him forwards again. "I am basically expecting to be thrown into the wall."
"Pssh, I'm not THAT mean, dude..." Squiddo pretends they're offended by that, although they're really just focusing on the optimal strategy to drag Ash forward. "C'mon, PLEASE just walk..."
"No." Ash seems to be kind of enjoying himself, giving Squiddo a hard time. "I enjoy watching you suffer."
"You're practically begging for your first ice skating experience to ACTUALLY be getting thrown into a wall..." Squiddo rolled her eyes behind her vibrant glasses, which were getting a little fogged up by the mist produced by her breath. "You're lucky I'm your friend."
"Lucky?" Ash scoffs. "Oh, I am far from lucky, Squiddo..." But regardless, he's smiling as Squiddo continues dragging them along until they're finally at the entrance.
"I say you're just scared."
"Am not."
"Walk, then."

They'd decided to arrive early, and the still-smooth ice glinted cheerily in the morning sun, the watery light still harsh on Ash's eyes. The rink wasn't very crowded, fortunately- Squiddo had probably booked them early for that reason. He had to admit that they were good at planning.
He was sitting on a bench, trying to wrestle his skates on, gloved hands fumbling with the thick laces. He was a little wary of touching them- the rental skates had no doubt been handled by thousands of hands, and he doubted all of them were clean ones. Unfortunately for him, that meant tying the skates as tight as Squiddo had insisted they should be was immensely difficult.
"Are you done yet?" Speak of the devil. They had finished tying their skates, which had been purchased and therefore looked a lot cleaner than his own. They were effortlessly standing on the tiny metal bars of their skates, and looking at them only made Ash dread the moment when he'd have to stand up and do it too. He'd probably fall over and make a fool of himself.
"No, give me a sec-" Ash didn't bother glancing up at Squiddo, too busy attempting to push the laces through the correct holes while avoiding the mysterious stains on the fabric. But Squiddo beat him to it, snatching the laces from his fingers even as he protested.
"Ugh, just let me do it..." They bent down over his shoes, and Ash felt the thick sides tighten around his ankles uncomfortably as the skates were tied properly. "Do they feel tight?"
"Yeah, too tight in my opinion. Can you, like, loosen them?" Ash shook out one of his feet- the skates made them feel stiff like boards.
"They're supposed to feel like that, so no, you're gonna have to suck it up." Squiddo grinned at him, now finished with his other skate. "Now c'mon, stand up!"
"But I don't know how to stand in these-" Before Ash could complain further, Squiddo had tugged him up off the bench. His free arm flailed for balance as he attempted to place his weight on the thin bars of the skates, and surprisingly he stayed upright, although it felt really weird. Once Squiddo was sure he wasn't going to topple over, they let go of his arm, instantly starting to rapidly clap and cheer in support.
"Yay, you're standing now!" However, that was all the encouragement they gave, instantly moving on to the next step: "Alright, now time to learn how to WALK!! Follow me!" And she was off, practically skipping down the pathway towards the rink entrance. He hadn't even known that sort of movement was possible with skates.
"Dude, how the hell do you even move in these things-" Tentatively, Ash pivoted and took a step after her. The skate didn't buckle under his weight, although he still very much expected it to. But he took another step forwards, and then another. It felt very awkward, but he still didn't fall over. Maybe he could tolerate this...
"Walk FASTER!" Squiddo called over to him from where she currently stood, what once felt like an impossible distance away. Now he was actually approaching it. "You won't fall, I pinky promise!"
"How are you going to pinky promise from all the way over there..." Ash rolled his eyes, but he continued walking. He'd gotten a bit more confident with his steps, so he was moving a little faster anyways, and soon enough he found himself standing beside Squiddo, now about to step onto the ice.
"Alright, I probably should have waited a little bit for the ice to be less slippery-" They reached out one skate and set it on the ice, sliding it back and forth a moment before stepping on and placing their other foot on the ice as well. "Hang on, I'll carve out a path for you- just watch for a sec, okay?" And then they were off, sailing gracefully over the ice in a way Ash had never seen anyone- let alone Squiddo- move.
He gripped the railing that bordered the rink, eyes drifting along with Squiddo as they whizzed over the ice, obviously trying to show off her skill. It kind of worked- the idea that he could be on the ice, doing that, was entrancing in a way. He didn't linger too long on the daydream, though, as Squiddo's excited squealing wasn't the best background for deep thought.
Squiddo finished their last lap around with a little "whee!" and pulled to a stop in front of the entrance, shreds of ice flying from their skates as they braked. "See, that looks fun, right?"
"Uh-"
But before Ash can formulate any sort of reply, Squiddo seized his wrist, cutting him off with a new stream of instructions: "Alright, so we'll start with just trying to walk on the ice for now- it's kind of like walking normally, except you're on skates and the floor's a little more slippery- here, just put a foot down and try to find your balance!"
So Ash reached out a foot and placed it gently on the ice. He felt the metal bar slip beneath him, sliding into a groove already carved out by one of Squiddo's runs and giving him a little bit more leverage. However, it was still not quite enough to stand with, even with Squiddo's arm supporting him, and he highly doubted that if he put his other foot down, he'd be able to move at all. He didn't trust the way the skates slid beneath his feet.
"How the hell am I supposed to stand on ice with these thin ass skates, dude-" Ash pulls his foot back, and in doing so momentarily loses his balance. He just manages to grab the support railing in time before he falls over. "Look, I'm already falling over..."
"You'll be fine! I'll hold you, and you have the railing!" Squiddo tugged on his arm a little, and reluctantly Ash put his foot back down on the ice. It slides just like before, wobbly and unstable, and he has to use up all his courage to pick his other foot up from the ground and place it onto the ice. And, to his utter bewilderment, he stands.
"See, I told you you wouldn't fall!" Squiddo's grin somehow grows wider. "Okay, now on to the walking! Try and move one of your feet forward- shift your body weight to the foot that's on the ground, then when you put your foot down shift your weight to that foot instead, then pick your other foot up and repeat-" The information flowed through his head and drained out the other side.
"Dude, you're talking too fast-" Ash did his best to follow Squiddo's instructions, concentrating on removing one of his feet from the ice without falling over. He must not have been putting enough weight on his foot or whatever they'd said, as after a moment or so of his foot hovering in place, he wobbled forwards and almost fell. Squiddo caught him with their free arm and a little yelp.
"Oops, sorry! Uh, hang on, let me channel my inner teacher-" Squiddo made a show of "meditating" while also helping Ash upright. "Okay, so you pick your foot up..." After a moment's hesitation, he raises his foot again. "Remember, keep your weight on your foot on the ground. Then put that foot down in front of you..."
Ash manages to absorb enough information to step forwards an inch, and soon enough he's walking over the ice- more like waddling, if he's going to be honest with himself. "I feel like a toddler learning how to walk all over again." He says bitterly as Squiddo guides him forwards again, having stumbled for what feels like the ten thousandth time.
"Honestly, it does kind of feel like that for your first time." Squiddo giggles. "You'll get the hang of it though, don't worry!" And they're back to moving forwards, Squiddo switching the topic to something else and Ash drowning out their yapping with his own thoughts.
After a little longer of walking, Ash finally feels some semblance of confidence in himself. And then he feels the weight of Squiddo's hand lift from his wrist, and in his surprise he stumbles, twisting around awkwardly to grab the railing with his other hand. "Squiddo!"
"Sorry!" They laugh at what is no doubt a funny-looking scene- him holding on to the railing for dear life while trying to face forwards again. "I figured you should learn how to walk without someone holding on to you now." After a brief pause they add, "I'll still catch you if you fall though, don't worry."
"But I'm not ready-" Ash complains. Squiddo doesn't seem to care, though- they only skate backwards a little bit, beckoning for Ash to skate towards them. "Look, walk over here!"
Ash looks apprehensively at the small Squiddo-colored figure in front of him, hand tensing on the railing as he tried to recall the steps they'd walked him through. Lift your foot up... shift your weight... put your foot down... He reran the process over and over in his mind, until he found himself standing in front of Squiddo again, still disbelieving of the fact he'd actually walked there himself.
"See, you can do it!" Squiddo grabbed his hand again. "Good job, Ashswag!"
"I don't need praise, Squiddo."
"Nonsense! Alright, now we learn how to SKATE! For real this time!"
They let go of Ash's hand to demonstrate the process, and Ash reached for the railing again. "Alright, so it's kind of like walking except you gotta push with the edge of your skate against the ice, keep your skate kinda sideways like this..." They move their foot in the motion they're describing, although to Ash it just looks like a recipe for falling flat on your face. "Keep your weight on your other foot and don't look down. Try just doing it with one foot for now. You got that?"
"No idea." But he tried anyways, lifting his foot and attempting to replicate whatever Squiddo had just done. He thought he was doing it until his foot slipped out a little too far, and Squiddo grabbing his wrist again was the only thing that saved him from cracking his skull open on the ice. "Well that wasn't it."
"Just keep trying!" Squiddo encouraged. "You'll get the hang of it!" And so he adjusted his balance and tried again. This time, he slid forwards a little bit, without the addition of almost falling backwards. "You got it! Just keep going like that and you'll be skating in no time!"