high rise hearts ☆ lifesteal smp au

𝐂𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 ✦✯

𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲: fluff
𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀: a little clownzy/branzypierce, mentions of swagdoons (there's some cuddling but most of it besides clown/branzy is platonic)
𝘁𝘄: n/a
𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: @astral0life (i didn't really use one of the pairs you mentioned, didn't feel like it lol- hope you enjoy this anyways tho!)
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁: the pmc is doing a stakeout to wait out a hit, although when the target takes forever and a half to show up it just dissolves into a silly gossip session/cuddle pile

─── ⋅☆⋅ ───

𝐏𝐎𝐕: minute

This was quite possibly the most boring stakeout session in the history of the PMC, and also probably the whole world. Their target was due to arrive 3 fucking hours ago, and they still hadn't at least given a hint of showing up anytime soon.
"Should we just go home? I'm actually so tired right now." Minute whispers to his teammates, Clown and Leo, who are huddled on the balcony beside them. Branzy's also there for some reason, but Minute doesn't bother to question why Clown brings him along anymore.
"C'mon Minute, I'm sure they'll show up soon enough." He can't see Clown's face behind his mask, but he can hear traces of doubt laced within his voice. "We still got the rest of the night to wait."
"That's exactly what I'm saying." Minute sighed. "The idea of waiting here for the entire night is already boring me out of my mind..."
"Honestly, he's got a point, Clown-" Leo piped up from beside him. "I'm actually going to fall asleep if we sit here any longer. Can we at least do something while we wait?"
"If we're distracted, we might not notice it when our target finally shows up..." Clown begins.
"And if we're passed out snoring on this balcony, we'll never notice the damn target." Minute retaliates. "C'mon, can I at least open up my phone?"
"Yeah, if Branzy's allowed to do it then so should we," Leo adds, gesturing to Branzy, who is indeed using his phone.
"I- fine, whatever." Clown gives in. "But still, stay on alert just in case." He then turns to Branzy. "Branzyyy, you're setting a bad example for my employees..."
Minute registers the quiet "sorry, Clown," but it's muffled by the whooshing of the cold night wind. It's a chilly evening, and even though he's wearing a very comfy sweater and two layers of pants, he's still freezing.
Leo must have noticed him shivering, because he scoots over and presses against his side, all the while never looking up from his phone. "I'm cold too, honestly."
Minute fumbles for his own phone, stuffed somewhere in his sweater pocket. "Yeah. Way too cold for early fall, in my opinion." The screen lights up when he lays a finger on the screen, swiftly inputting his passcode with practiced motions. His home screen is a group selfie of him, Leo and Clown, although he can't recall where it was taken. Some party, probably.
Leo chuckles beside him, and Minute looks up from the app he's just opened, curious. He slowly edges closer to Leo, lifting his head just over his shoulder to peer at his screen.
"What?" Leo says through his giggling, playfully covering his face with a hand so he doesn't see what's on the screen.
"Oh, lemme seeee. As my co-worker, you are entitled to share information." Minute, now laughing too, removes Leo's hand from his face and squints to read the text. It's their group chat.
The latest message is from Clown, and it's a selfie of him cuddling with Branzy in a very familiar location. In fact, it's so familiar that he looks over and sees them cuddling like right next to him.
"Pfft- hang on, I just got an idea-" Minute lifts his phone, unlocking it again because the screen saver shut it off, and snapped a photo of Clown and Branzy from where he was sitting, with the added addition of his hand forming a peace sign in the corner.
"Hah, you should post that..." Leo tells him when Minute shows him the photo.
"That was my plan all along," he replies, just as he sends the photo into the group chat. Clown's message has already been replied to by a few other members of the gc.

> ZAM👑: clingyduo material!!!
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): lmao
> KABNOODLE: reall
> minute sends the pic of clown and branzy he took
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: stop spying on me minute
> Min: yeah no
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: I SHIPP CLOWNZY
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: bro
> Min: youre literally the one who first posted that
> Min: my photo's just a different perspective
> Min: also you guys already said you were dating??
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: yeah whatever
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: you and leo get back to work
> Min: jeez ok

Him and Leo are both giggling now, Leo leaning against his shoulder and watching him type. "Sometimes I wonder what goes on in his head," the other man remarks, referring to Clown.
"A lot, probably. Like I'd understand any of it." Minute watches a few more messages get sent. One of them stands out to him:

> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: redd dont act like you aren't cuddly too

"Hang on, what-" Leo leans closer to his phone, his fluffy hair falling over Minute's shoulder like a liquid pillow. "Is that gossip I smell?"
"Probably." Minute squints at his screen- he's forgotten to lower the brightness but is too immersed in the group chat to do so. "Now shush, I wanna concentrate on this."

> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): wdym?
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: you know what i mean redd
> leow0ok (inactive): spilling tea??
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): no
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: yes

Minute feels Leo's laughter from where he rests against his shoulder, although he's pulled out his own phone now.

> Min: tell us clownnn
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: ok ok
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: just wait a sec lol
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): dont u fuckin dare clown
> leow0ok (inactive): i need me my daily dose of gossip yk?

"I'm betting 5k it's going to be something with Ash and Redd." Leo whispers into his ear.
"Pfft- honestly, that was kinda obvious, so I'm not paying you." Minute whispers back. "We'll see what Clown says though."

> clown sends pic of ash and redd sleeping on the couch together- the scene is from parrot's half-birthday
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): U GOT A PIC OF THAT?
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: indeed i did
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: thank me later
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): go jump off your balcony
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: rude
> leow0ok (inactive): i have never shipped two people harder
> Min: samee
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): shut up

Minute has to fight to restrain his laughter so the occupants of the balcony's apartment don't hear. He can hear Leo having similar issues beside him.
"I swear, if they don't get together within the next week-" Minute wheezes.
"I'd be very, very upset-" Leo replies before going back to laughing.
"Can you two quiet down over there? Someone's on the street." Clown hisses from next to them, pointing to the sidewalk, where there was, in fact, someone walking.
"Oops." Minute stifles his giggles with his sleeve and Leo's laughter with his free hand, waiting until the person passes by until he releases Leo again.
"Alright, I think that's enough gossip for one day..." Clown plucks Minute's phone out of his hands, then grabs Leo's before he can react.
"Hey-!" Minute tries to grab his device back, but it goes into Clown's pocket first. "Screw you, dude."
"Brooo, I was just about to leak like 20 photos-" Leo complains, slumping against Minute dramatically. Minute makes his best fake pout and pats Leo's shoulder.
"Yeah, you can do that later." It's funny because Clown still has his phone out, and so does Branzy.

─── ⋅☆⋅ ───

𝗮/𝗻: again kinda short- honestly don't like how this turned out but i can't be bothered to find out why/fix it in general. hope you guys like it better than i do though! anyways what happened after all that is minute and leo fell asleep, then their target showed up last minute and clown barely managed to kill them. he didn't bother waking either of them up lmao ☆ bk

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: i mentioned a swagdoons crossover fic in one of my update chapters. i've published the first 2 chapters of that along with this oneshot if you wanna give it a looksie (shameless self promo wow)

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1393