high rise hearts ☆ lifesteal smp au

𝟓𝟎% 𝐁𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 ✪✦

𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲: chatfic/shitpost
𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀: clownzy/branzypierce, swagdoons
𝘁𝘄: n/a
𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: n/a
𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁: i was watching red's 4 guys 1 chunk p2 stream and he said he was 50% bisexual... although i'm too poor to super chat my brain went "which half of the bi are you" so here's a lifesteal gc snippet for me to pour my broke grief onto

─── ⋅☆⋅ ───

𝐏𝐎𝐕: none

> ZAM👑: redd
> ZAM👑: what did u mean by 50% bi again
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): huh
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): i dont remember sayin that?
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: OOOH TEA
> ZAM👑: when we were playing minecraft remember?
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): ohh yeah
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): it means like
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): since im only 50% bi
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): it means i only like half the ppl bis do
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): which means im straight
> 🦜: press X to doubt
> 🦜: X
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: X
> ZAM👑: X
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): bro
> 🦜: @everyone IMPORTANT QUESTION
> clamor of everyone getting online
> 🦜: IF REDD IS 50% BI
> 🦜: WHICH HALF OF BI IS HE
> MAPIC: I
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): what does that even mean
> MAPIC: I is the roman numeral for one
> MAPIC: which means single
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): BRO
> <<<pangolins: whats happening
> <<<pangolins: i was trimming my hedges
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: pangi
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: you DON'T HAVE A LAWN
> <<<pangolins: oh
> Cube!: stop pinging me
> Cube!: im busy
> MAPIC: imagine being employed L
> MAPIC: @everyone
> MAPIC: @everyone
> MAPIC: @everyone
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: bro mapicc shut up
> gremlin: sorry ash D:
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: ur not even mapicc
> 🦜: is anybody going to answer my question
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: if redd is 50% bi
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: then i am also 50% bi
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: thats the answer
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): ??
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: u wouldnt know
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): stfu
> Branzy 🔪⛓: dont say that to my bf
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: you two act like ur tied together
> Branzy 🔪⛓: im tied up in his basement
> Branzy 🔪⛓: does that count?
> ZAM👑: WOAH THERE BUDDY
> ZAM👑: talk about it in dms!!!
> 🦜: PFFT
> gremlin: what does that mean?
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: u dont need to know that kab
> gremlin: KAB???
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i meant squiddo
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: I mix you guys up ok
> gremlin: im not THAT much like kab...
> gremlin: also why cant i know?
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: because
> gremlin: is anybody else nice enough to tell me? :(
> silence
> gremlin: oh
> leow0ok (inactive): i cant be bothered to read all this
> 🦜: in summary
> 🦜: which half of bi is redd
> leow0ok (inactive): what???
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): the half that likes girls
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: redd i dont think im a girl
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: LOLLL
> subz(cribe): r u sure abt that?
> subz sends edited photo of ash as an anime girl, kawaii cat filter and everything
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: WHAT THE HELL
> KABNOODLE: CATBOY ASHSWAG CANON
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: kaboodle
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: kindly shut the hell up
> leow0ok (inactive): we were just presented with photo evidence tho
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: that picture was edited
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: gpt did that
> 🦜: wasnt it subz that did that?
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: whatever
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: fuck you
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: all of you
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): am i included within that umbrella
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: no
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: go reset character instead
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): aw
> ZAM👑: WOAH THERE
> ZAM👑: lets be civil
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: ur one to say that
> KABNOODLE: wait subz
> KABNOODLE: can you make me like that?
> subz(cribe): sure
> subz(cribe): gimme a sec
> KABNOODLE: YAYYY
> gremlin: subzzzzz
> gremlin: i want one tooooo >:C
> subz sends photo of catgirl kaboodle
> KABNOODLE: YIPPEEE
> gremlin: DO MEEEEE
> subz(scribe): ok ok
> subz(scribe): just wait
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: why is everyone ordering cat photos of themselves now
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: do u want another one?
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: i learned how to make em
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: no
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): you should do it anyway
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: what the hell
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i did not know you liked seeing cat maid version of me
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: AYOOO
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): nahh
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): im just asking so youll get mad at me
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: ok so u just want attention?
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: nvm its already obvious ur hella clingy
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): im notttt
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): i bet nobody else thinks im clingy
> MAPIC: i think
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: nobody asked u mapicc
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: also chat how do i stop this clingy mf
> MAPIC: rude
> MAPIC: this is america
> MAPIC: i have a right to free speech
> MAPIC: anyways
> MAPIC: as i was saying
> MAPIC: i think
> subz sends catgirl squiddo picture
> gremlin: AWW I LOVE ITTT TYYY
> MAPIC: stop interrupting me
> MAPIC: as i was saying
> MAPIC: i think
> MAPIC: redd might be the other half of bi
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): wdym by that
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): also that isnt even related to my question
> MAPIC: the other half of bi
> MAPIC: likes guys
> 🌈SPOKE🌈: i feel like that was obvious?
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): u guys really cannot lay off that quote can u
> MAPIC: nah
> MAPIC: also
> MAPIC: i was thinkin
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: thats enough thinking for one day
> MAPIC: yall are a tiny bit
> MAPIC: clingy
> MAPIC: yk?
> ZAM👑: they should be called clingyduo!!!
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: shut the fuck up zam
> ZAM👑: rudee
> ZAM👑: i have a right to free speech too yk?
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: u dont deserve that right
> ZAM👑: @everyone ASH IS DISCRIMINATING AGAINST MEEE
> Cube!: stop pinging meeee
> gremlin: ASHH
> gremlin: we dont discriminate in this gc >:C
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: yeah ashswag
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: stfu
> Branzy 🔪⛓: dont say that to my bf
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: u guys deserve the clingyduo title more than redd and i do
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): aw ur defending me?
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): thats very nice of you
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: no
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): i think u were :]
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i was most definitely not
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: shut up
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i was defending myself and solely myself
> ClownPierce 🔪⛓: then why is redds name in the msg
> ashswagin ⚠DO NOT DISTURB!!: i give up im going offline
> Reddoons (business inquiries in bio): lmao
> gremlin: i love watching couples argue
> 🦜: same tbh

─── ⋅☆⋅ ───

𝗮/𝗻: i didn't have the energy for anything else today sorry lol ☆ bk

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: this is already stated in the info chapter, but since i used real quotes here imma say it again. i don't ship ccs (content creators/irl youtubers), just the mc characters they portray! i just thought the quotes were funny and wanted to make sm out of them :]

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1181