Love and Hate| Natasha Romanoff

28. Clusterfuck

TW: PANIC ATTACK AND BLOOD!!

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Y/N'S POV: 

"I'm a fucking what?!" I shouted, frozen in place. I ran my hand through my hair, processing. While it wasn't what we planned, it sure got my mind off Natasha. 

"I promise I didn't know." Peter stepped closer and put a hand on my shoulder, his tone almost desperate for me to know that he knew just as much as I did before. "I swear." His voice was raw with emotion, it almost got you to feel bad for the poor kid.

"Peter, you think-" All of a sudden, doors flew open, familiar voices calling out in a panicked rush. 

"Bruce! We need Bruce now! Communications stopped working, get us Bruce. Now!" Steve shouted as he and Tony rushed to look for him around the rooms. 

"He's in the lab, what's wrong!" Wanda shouted back in a chained panic, rushing to the lab to get Bruce. 

"It's..." Tony looked down and swallowed hard. "It's Natasha, they caught us off guard." He spoke so quietly it was hardly audible. 

But I heard, and that's all I heard. I couldn't stay up anymore, falling right on my ass as the world went quiet. I felt the tappings on my shoulder, I felt the way they shook my body, I saw everything. But I couldn't hear, I couldn't physically respond. I was frozen. Everyone trying to get my attention but I only spoke up when I finally could, still, not listening. 

"Where is she..." I was still staring off to space, my voice quiet yet raw with emotion.

"She's still on the jet, waiting for Bruce, she-" Tony couldn't even finish his sentence before I rushed up, going lightheaded from standing so fast but fighting past it as I rushed to the Quinjet. 

Once I got there, I noticed the door of the jet still opened and rushed in, tripping on a step and almost falling on my face, earning a small chuckle from the injured woman. 

"I knew you were falling for me but I didn't know you meant literally." She teased, but she  was weak, you could hear it in her voice. Her body was bloodied with a deep cut that was gushing, like they hit an artery. She was already wheezing. 

"Natasha..." My body was shaking from a mix of adrenaline, anxiety, and fear. "What- what the fuck happened?" I asked, my voice wavering as my eyes began to water very quickly. 

"They caught us by surprise, I could tell by the attacks... they've been investing in spies of their own, red room spies." She sighed and lifted her head briefly to look at me. "Y/n... I'm-"

"No, it's... I should be talking right now. Not even, we have to get you some help!" I panicked and looked around for anything. "Why haven't they pressured the fucking wound?!" I shouted and cried, still shaking as I looked for something to use as a tourniquet. 

"You can't make a tourniquet for this, it's on my torso, you can't cut circulation to my entire lower body." She sighed. "We're just gonna have to wait for-" 

"Here! I'm here!" Bruce called as he rushed in with Wanda, the two of them panting heavily, a clear sign that they ran here. 

"Bruce! Do something, please!" I basically shouted. My hands started feeling clammy and my breath started to speed up, my fingers getting fidgety. Bruce started to pick up Natasha to carry her to the medbay and Wanda noticed my distress. 

"Y/n." She started, her voice full of concern. "Y/n, sit down." She took a step closer and put her hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me down to sit on the seat of the quinjet. I very quickly began to hyperventilate, my eyes roaming the jet as my hands gripped onto the seat. 

"I- I can't- Wanda." I was getting lightheaded, the room beginning to spin a little. "Breathe, Wanda I can't-" I was wheezing. Wanda tried everything to calm me down but I just wouldn't. I couldn't. Her voice wasn't even registering in my mind anymore as I was shaking, until the world went dark. 

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*Beep, Beep, Beep* 

The sound of vitals being read. My eyes were still closed and the bed was so uncomfortable. My first instinct was to sit up and rush out of whatever hospital I was in, not even considering the towers medbay yet. I opened my eyes and took a moment to adjust to the bright light before sitting up. I went to rub my eyes and winced at the sudden pain on the left side of my face, right around my cheekbone. Then I heard a voice... her voice. 

"You fell." Her voice was still weak but as I looked over to her, she seemed to already be stitched up and beginning the very first steps of the healing process. 

"You're okay..." I whispered in relief, my eyes roaming her face as if it were the first time I'd ever seen her. "Natasha I am-" 

"Stop, no. Don't do that. We can talk about that later, Y/n." She said firmly, almost annoyed. 

"Please... It's been eating me alive Natasha." I whispered again, my voice cracking. "I was so far in the wrong and- and- I thought you could die and I was petrified, that those would've been my last words to you. I'm so, so, so, sorry. It wasn't any of my business. I love you so damn much Natasha." 

WIth a sigh and a soft gaze, she signalled me over to her bed. I wasn't hooked up on anything, Bruce had deemed me okay the second I got in according to the chart that was next to me. I went over to her and hugged her laying form, making sure to put almost no pressure as to not hurt her, even if I wanted to squeeze her so tight. "It's okay. Just please, trust me. This won't work if you don't... and I need us to work, Y/n." 

"I trust you, I do. That whole thing, I don't know what it was. I promise it won't ever happen again." I was firm in what I said, because I believed it. Whatever this was turned something beautiful into something messy and complicated. But it happens, right? We're okay. That's what matters. "Today's been such a clusterfuck." I groaned and stood up straight again, my hand holding hers. 

"It was just one thing, Y/n, and I'm fine." She squeezed my hand reassuringly and looked up at me, her face quickly turning into one of confusion as she saw my face. The one that was now clearly hiding something. "What. What did you do...?" 

"It's not what I did..." I looked away and at the floor, unsure of how she'd react. "But I may or may not have just found out that I'm Peter's sister." I glanced at her and almost wanted to laugh at the shock on her face. The way her jaw dropped, eyes widened, brows raised. 

"And you just... how do you... when... what?!" She tried to sit up but winced so I made her lay back down. 

"Surprise? I found out literally today." I sighed and sat at the edge of her hospital bed. "Today was... a lot." 

We both stayed silent, hands still intertwined. We were both happy we were finally together again. No problems. No worries. Just a little surprise, and the same undying love that was there before she left. 

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Stay hydrated and remember to eat!

                                                                             ~A