Photography (HS)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

I slowly peeled my eyes open too see my once dark bedroom lit up with the morning sun. I rubbed my eyes as they were slightly hazy from being shut for so long. I rolled over from my side to back and felt that the once filled space next to me was empty, once again.

I don't remember an awful lot from last night but I do remember telling Harry I love him and him staying the night. I don't know what caused me to say it but it just felt right to truly express how I felt. I knew that he wasn't going to say it back, I didn't need him to. I just needed him to know how I felt.

I sat up and pulled the covers back. The hangover I most definitely knew was going to happen hit me as soon as my feet hit the hardwood floor of my bedroom. My head started pounding and the light was starting to hurt my eyes. I even felt a little sick but I'll be able to subside that by eating something.

I went to grab my phone off of my bedside table but it was gone. In its place sat a box of Tylenol and a glass of water. I knew straight away that Harry had put them there as I definitely have not left my bed since I got into it last night. It felt like a strange parallel from when I left him tablets and water after he turned up here on night.

I smiled before picking up the box and taking out two of the small tablets, it's nice knowing Harry actually still cares. I'm guessing he's in the other room as he does like to get up early some days. I took the tablets using the glass of water, he even put lemon in it.

I got up out of bed bringing the glass with me, I still felt gross so I was going to say hey to Harry grab something to eat then hop in the shower. I walked into the living room and he wasn't there, it looks untouched. I carried on walking into the kitchen to find Harry's black duffel bag sat on the table.

I wondered over to my kitchen table and put the glass of water down next to it. I opened up the bag to see it filled to the brim with all of Harry's clothes and other things. Harry was still no where to be found but his bag spoke a million words. He was planning on leaving again, for good this time by the looks of things.

A million thoughts ran through my already painful head. Did I scare him off by telling him I love him? I had no expectations of him saying back so why would he be scared?

"Briony?" I heard his familiar voice come from behind me. He must have been in the bathroom as it was the only room I didn't check. I turned to face him with tears in my eyes. "Are you okay?"

"You're leaving?" I stood with my arms crossed. Harry didn't say anything but looked confused . I moved to the side so his open bag was in his view.

"I have to Bri, you don't understand." He rubbed the back of his neck underneath his jumper. The two outfits I've seen him in since he left have been so different than his usual ones. I feel like his loosing himself because of his stupid "work". There's no flannels or tight jeans, he wore a plain black tracksuit here and now he's leaving in a navy one.

I just want Harry back.

"No what I don't understand is why you're only thinking of yourself?" I could feel my face getting damper with tears. I wasn't meaning to cry but I can't believe that he's leaving again, after everything.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I just told you that I love you and now you're leaving as if that means nothing."

"No wait-"

"I don't expect you to say it back." I interrupted. "I understand that you don't feel the same and that's fine. What I'm upset about is that you were going to leave knowing I felt like this."

Harry still looked confused but he took a step closer to me and reached out to hold me. As much as I just want to melt into his arms, I can't. We need to have this conversation so I can find out what's going on within his head.

I stepped back away from Harry's hand. He looked hurt that I did this.

"Were you going to leave while I was asleep?" I quietly asked.

Harry didn't look like he wanted to answer but he eventually spoke. "That was the plan yeah."

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears again. As much as I love this man he seems to break my heart every other week. It hurt badly to know he was just going to up and leave again. I told him how bad it ached the first time he did it and yet he was going to do it again. It was like he didn't care.

Harry came up to me again grabbing my hands this time. He held them tightly while looking in my eyes. "Look Briony, the last thing I want to do is hurt you but I cannot stay here, be with you. It's already got you hurt and you don't know how much that fucks up my head-"

"But I told you I knew I would be fine as long as I am with you!" I was really crying now.

"- Briony stop. I told you, you won't understand and I cannot be with you for our own safety. What I do will only get you hurt and I'll be damned if i ever fucking let that happen again, so no I won't be staying here nor will I be staying with you." His words felt harsh but I knew he didn't mean it like that. He just wants me to understand that he "can't be with me."

"But what about college?" I sniffled.

Harry dropped my arms and took a step back. "I quit, I can't go back."

I shook my head. "But what about it being a cover up so you and your dad look like a normal family?" I was panicking now, he's just going to drop everything for this stupid job he has too do.

Harry just shook his head, I felt sick when he turned around and picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder.

"Harry please."

He didn't say anything, he didn't even turn back to look at me. He walked out of the kitchen door and a few seconds later I heard my apartment door be unlocked, open then shut.

He was gone.

Again.

I was left stood in my kitchen... heartbroken.

Again.

Oh dear harryyyyyyyyy. You left againnnnnnnnnnnn.
I know this is short but that means a double update!!!!!!!!!!!