Alice
I am struggling to fall asleep, the photo we had together somehow helps me to stop crying in the middle of the night. I dreamed of her last night, and it felt like she was with me. Even though I knew it wasn't real, part of me wished it was. Part of me wished that moment could last forever because in that dream, we were together and doing the things we used to do.
When I woke up, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. It was like a piece of me was missing, and I didn't know if I would ever be able to fill the void. I feel unmotivated to start the day. Even though I wake up each day with a sense of loss, I will continue to wish to dream of her again, at least we were together in that dream.
I miss her, her voice, the butterflies, the late-night talks, and the good morning and goodnight texts. I couldn't help but question myself. Nagmahal lang naman ako, bakit naman kailangan ganito kasakit.
✨✨
Today, we have to attend a seminar in Manila. I am with Ate Gie and Cath. The seminar finishes almost at lunchtime. Since it's Ate Gie's birthday, I offer to treat her for lunch.
I let them decide which restaurant. They choose a Japanese restaurant. I gonna admit perfect choice. The place was nice and cozy, and perfect.
It took them a while to decide what to eat. While we were eating, their laughter and shared glances were bothering me.
"Ano kaya pinag-uusapan ng dalawang 'to, at tawang-tawa,"
Suddenly, a familiar scent caught my attention.
"Oh, andito na pala si attorney," Ate Gie says while laughing.
I was caught off guard. These two set us up. I don't know how to react; I feel nervous.
Theresia
I am currently in a meeting with a client when Ate Gie calls me. She's crying, saying that she needs my help as they got involved in a car accident. I assumed that it may be related to legal matters, and from the looks of it, it seems like a serious case. She sends me the address, and when I arrive at the place, it's a Japanese restaurant. From that moment, I have a hint that she's lying and its not a car accident. I saw her waving at me she's with Cath. As I move closer to their table, she's with alice too.
I couldn't explain the awkwardness I feel. After what happened between us, I am not yet in the right state to see her. The worst part is I was forced to sit beside her.The tension was quite interrupted as the waiters sang a happy birthday. Ate Gie, who is known for being loud, unintentionally catches everyone's attention.
Maiwan na muna namin kayo, mamasyal lang kami ni Cath.
We were left alone, we're not talking. But she's staring at me, I could see it in my peripheral vision and it's making me uncomfortable.
Sinubukan kong pagmasdan ang kanyang mga mata.
Akala ko kaya ko nang titigan siya nang hindi nararamdaman ang sakit sa aking dibdib. Bigla akong sinakop ng pangamba at pag-aalinlangan na baka pinapairal ko na naman aking emosyon at sa huli, ako naman ang masasaktan.
I left her at the table without speaking to her; I just can't talk to her yet. After all that she said to me, the way she easily threw away what we had is still fresh in my mind. The wounds are still there, and I am still in pain.
Alice
I understand her anger towards me, and I don't blame her. She never gave me the opportunity to explain myself. If only I could turn back time, I would never have caused her pain or let her go. This time, I am willing to give my all, to take the risk, and fight to win her back.
Theresia
I want us to be strangers, but every time she looks at me with those sparkling eyes, I am losing it. She looks fine while she left me completely in love with her. Our love was almost, but not enough to happen.
She ruined my healing process again, or maybe I haven't moved on at all. I had simply hidden the pain and convinced myself it didn't exist. That woman hurts me to the extent that I am scared to love again, but I am still in love with her. Maybe it would have been better if we didn't see each other again, which is impossible because I am still committed to her until Attorney Cruz comes back.
Alice
I understand that I can't push her to talk to me if she's not ready. It's heartbreaking that she left me again. Here I am crying in the parking lot. I am still looking forward to the day when she doesn't have to avoid me and gives me a chance to explain how I feel.
Ate Gie: Tahan na, Mayor. Magiging okay din kayo.
Cath: Bigyan niyo muna ang isa't isa ng space.
Alice: Mga bwisit kayo, akala niyo nakalimutan ko ginawa niyo kanina. Kasalanan niyo ito eh.
Ate Gie: Ayaw lang namin na nakikitang malungkot ka.
Alice: Galing ng plano niyo, umiiyak ako sa tuwa. Umalis kayo sa harapan ko baka hindi ko kayo matantsa.
Ate Gie: Mayor, nagmamalasakit na nga kami sayo, ikaw pa 'tong ungrateful.
Alice: Wag kayo magpapakita sakin ha.
Ate Gie: Mayoraaaaaa!
Alice: Ano naman??
Ate Gie: Yung bill po sa restaurant, hindi pa daw kayo nagbayad.
Lord, you know that I am already struggling. Why do I have to deal with these two?
Theresia
Every corner of my condo brings back a flood of memories. I can't even look at them without feeling a sharp pain in my heart. It's like a constant reminder of what we had and what I have lost.
Doorbell rings...
Theresia's Dad: Why aren't you answering my calls? You haven't reported any updates about mayor in the past few days. There is something wrong?
Theresia: Dad, I need you.
When I saw Dad, I couldn't help but hug him and cry on his shoulder.
Dad: What happened? Is it about that mayor? I already warned you about her. You're not listening to me. He said in a calm tone.
Theresia: I am sorry if I failed and disappointed you again.
Dad: It's a tough task, I understand, anak. I know it's not just about the task. Did that mayor do something bad to you?
Theresia: She already knew about our plan. It's my fault I fell in love with her. I am sorry.
Dad: I know.
Theresia: You knew? How?
Dad: I have assigned someone to ensure your safety since you're not listening to me to stay away from that mayor.
Dad: Now that she already knows our plan, the committees will be at risk, including you. Maybe it's better if you stay at home temporarily.
Theresia: I am sorry, Dad. You're right, I am weak.
Dad: Loving is not a form of weakness. Now pack your things, we're going home.
For the first time, my father didn't scold me. In that moment, despite our constant disagreements, I felt his unwavering love that somehow uplifted me.
