Behind the Scenes

Chapter 18

Mikha's POV

Bar night with BGYO and Stacey

Staku is with me because I bribed her with Blackpink merchandise plus she is eager to know what's with me and my sulking face kanina sa ASAP.

She is the only person who knows my little secret - accidentally. Well, I never thought I'll be caught by her scrolling on my phone with my file vault on screen, containing thousands of pictures and videos of me and her with the file named A-LOML.

"Mikha, don't tell me it's going serious na? I thought you're not sure?"

The boys are having fun somewhere there, and the two of us remained seated while slowly drinking our beer.

"I lied when I said that." I'm with staring contest sa bote na hawak ko while saying that

"Oh my gosh! sige, kunwari nagulat ako kahit na halata naman na mayroon talagang something sa inyong dalawa."

"Tss. Don't give me false hope. You know I'm not good with words, Staks and trust me, I tried so hard not to act over caring to her but I guess, kusa nalang nangyayari ng hindi ko namamalayan."

"So, what are you planning to do?"

"Maybe confess?" I saw her choked on her beer and I chuckled "you really think I'm brave enough to do that?"

"Mikha, are you trying to kill me?!" she still coughing and I laughed

"You're so oa naman kasi, Staks." I sighed. "Syempre I'm not gonna do something that will ruin what we have. I'm not just talking about me and her, of course the group is one of my reasons."

"Aww. you're so sweet and selfless, Mikhs but please, don't you dare joke like that again while I'm drinking!"

One of many secrets we have in bini is that I'm not easily get drunk. I can handle four bottles na medyo nahihilo lang.

"Hey Mikhs, that's enough na, let's book grab car na so we can go home." Staku said while tapping on her phone.

"Can I be selfish just for tonight, Staks?"

"What?"

"I said, I wanna go home."

"Yes, we're going home na nga. Mag book na ko ng grab, ikaw muna hahatid ko, or you want me to message Jho na dun ka na rin makikitulog sa kanya?"

"No, I'll go to ate Aiah's condo."

"Huy Mikhs? okay ka lang? baka pagsisihan mo yan bukas. Ihahatid na kita sa condo mo or kay Jho nalang tayo."

"I wanna go to her, I'm tired and I miss my A. Don't worry I'm not drunk and I know my limitations, I will not do anything I'll regret."

I'm hoping I will not.

I went to A's condo that night, I thought that maybe I just need to let out some of what I'm feeling because it's too much. She took care of me and we had the conversation I needed to keep my sanity in place.

I hope she knows how much she mean to me and I promised myself to continue being the Mikha she's comfortable with. Hindi man ako makapag-confess, I will make sure na she will feel how much I care and how special she is to me.

Kumu Live

The day of our bini kumu live, I'm so excited to pick her up. I even bought her favorite drinks kahit na it's out of way. She messaged me na mag wait nalang ako sa baba but I want to see her na agad so I ringed the doorbell.

I hope she didn't notice how my jaw dropped when I saw her. Mariah Queen Arceta, you really know how to caught me off guard.

She's so damn beautiful

I'm so proud of myself dahil grabe na yung pagpipigil ko na kiligin sa harap nya. Hindi ko alam kung sasakyan ko ba yung pang aasar nya or what.

I was waiting for her kasi may need pa sya kunin sa room nya when my eyes caught a vase with flowers. Okay? Sino naman ang magbibigay sa kanya ng bulaklak?

I messaged Staku kung may alam sya or may post ba na hindi ko nakita, but she said nasa condo lang daw kanina si A.

So kahapon? or kanina lang pinadala? I'm not jealous, okay? I just want to know who.

I tried to act normal as I can be until hindi ko na kinaya na hindi itanong sa kanya kung kanino galing yung flowers while I was driving.

I know I'm being childish and when I saw panic in her eyes when I asked, my heart sunk. I don't want to see her like that. I will support whatever makes her happy even if it breaks my heart. I told her she can tell me when she's ready when in fact, I was relieved she won't tell me.

Thanks to phone call from Colet, I have time to compose myself before we arrive at the the bini dorm.

I survived the kumu live, I hate myself for being like this. Heartbroken to the love I never had. Ouch, is this what they feel when they say 'hindi naman masakit? parang kagat lang ng dinosaur?'

I'm going crazy. Buti nalang Staku is there to listen and to real talk me.

Just when I thought I had the worse night, the universe laugh at me and said, 'nah uh, there's more.'

I heard Colet said that someone is calling her. It's a guy and my mind is not helping my heart.

Jeremy is calling her? why?

It's suffocating, I saw her look at me and I can't take it anymore.

All I know is that I need to get out of the room.

Jho and Gwen didn't asked me anything and I'm thankful. I think I need space, maybe I need to start moving on after that painful night.

So that's why the bar hopper Mikha Lim is on. I'm hoping it will help me ease the pain.

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A/N: is this chapter confusing? Eyyy! longest chapter so far.