In My Opinion

Hot-Hearted by delulu_alex

Full title: Hot-Hearted | Jeon Jungkook🖤 by delulu_alex
Source: Feedback request
Genre: Fanfiction
Subgenre: Mystery-Thriller
Fandom: BTS
Mature: Y (abuse, alcohol, death, kidnapping, murder, non-explicit sex, physical assault, sexual references, smoking, strong swearing, violence; mentions of rape, sexual assault)
Status: Ongoing
English usage: US (non-native)
First impressions: 39/40
Digging deeper: 99/100
Final thoughts: pending

Source: ᴬʳᵗⁱˢᵗⁱᶜ ᴱˣᵖʳᵉˢˢⁱᵒⁿˢ ᴬʷᵃʳᵈˢ by janefanfics
Category: Masculine Muse (Jungkook)
Special note (judging): I had four books from this category, and the other judge, itsmecrazY1432, had four books
Score: 99/100

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*****

First impressions total: 39/40

Title: 10/10
Great title. Immediately invokes thoughts of passion and, together with the blurb, gives me the feel of a turbulent romance in a crime show, which I think you're going for, so yes. 🙂

Blurb/synopsis: 10/10
It's really, really for me to not find anything wrong with a blurb, but you've done it. You introduce the characters, the setting, and the plot very neatly, all while using a second-person perspective in a way that feels professional and polished. That might be your biggest feat here. I'm so used to the second-person coming off as clumsy and novice. You lay out just enough to hook the reader, using language that enhances the hot crime novel feel, and you end with a question that finishes up your hook and pushes the reader to start reading immediately. And on top of that, you have content warnings at the bottom! Yay! Gold star. 🙂

Cover: 10/10
This cover is amazing. If I had to be picky, I'd say you could maybe bump the size of the subtitle up a little, and you could cut "by" from in front of your name, but neither of those is necessary. The gray-scale imagery with the pop of bright red for the title is absolutely perfect, and you've also pulled off the wonderful trick of setting white font against a gray and white background, which is such a classy feature. I love the font styles you've chosen, the text placement—that small white cursive over the enormous red "HOT" is fantastic. Can you tell I like this?

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 9/10
Prologue: Ooh, I like it. A little section of dialogue introducing us to Y/n, the police officer, arresting Jungkook, the criminal, and there's already sexual tension in the air from an annoyingly hot and flirty Jungkook. The dialogue flows naturally, and you pack a lot of descriptive physical actions, facial expressions, and tones of voice into the dialogue tags. The only issue I saw was one section of dialogue that should have a comma to close it out and lead into the dialogue tag instead of a period, and you could maybe switch out "in what was sure" to "in what had to be," but this is really, really good. It's short, and it has a strong hook, so it's really easy for a reader to rationalize just going on to the next chapter, even if they're pressed for time.

Author's note: Nice little repeat of the info found in the blurb, for those who skimmed or skipped it.

Characters: Ooh, the whole gang of BTS is here. I'm interested to see how you incorporate them all into the story. (And can I just say that it's so refreshing to not have these short little info chapters riddled with SPAG errors?)

Chapter 1: Um, didn't you tell me English isn't your native language? Would you like to teach some native speakers how to write? 😆

Kidding, not kidding. This is really, really good. Each character is real and distinct from every other character. The little side notes, like Yoongi's cereal dad problems, help to flesh these characters out, and you continue the fantastic dialogue with all the descriptive detail in the dialogue tags. Your forensics details are on point, which tells me you've either watched a lot of crime shows, read a lot of crime books, or done your research. Although I guess watching and reading crime stuff is research, isn't it? The setting in the park is clear and vivid, as is the unfortunate victim, but you didn't turn my weak stomach, which is amazing. Maybe it's not bloody enough yet. I'll let you know if I end up passing out later. (Jk.)