| | Indefinite Hiatus | |
I hope to return to this project someday, but it isn't feasible with my current health issues and life circumstances. I have to cut things from my workload so I can breathe. However, I still intend to complete my current li...
Source: Review Shop by TheBlossomCommunity_ Genre: Fanfiction Subgenre: Romance Fandom: Prema (Indian actress), Venky Atluri (Indian actor) Mature: Y (alcoholism, loss of a loved one, physical abuse, smoking, smut [none yet], strong profanity, violence) LGBTQIAP+: N Status: Ongoing First impressions: 33/40 Digging deeper: 84/100 Final thoughts: Complete Note: Chapter 4 was the last available chapter as of the publishing of this review.
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First impressions: 33/40
Title: 10/10
I'm all for some heart collision. Two people running into each other like two cars in an accident—could be fun! Or painful. Maybe both. 😉
Story description: 8/10
Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it. Maybe it doesn't have the strongest hook out there, but I think it's fine for the readers you'll attract with this title and the cutesy cover. I would spell out "two" instead of using the number, but that's not entirely necessary. The convention I've seen the most seems to be spelling out any numbers lower than ten and using the numerical form for 11 and up, but, again, up to you. You could potentially put a comma before "while" in the second sentence, and "heartbroken" should be all one word. Otherwise, you're good here.
Cover: 8/10
This is a cute cover. I like the simplicity of the solid background with cut-out hearts containing images of the two main characters, and the cutesy font for the title is fun, too. There's a lot of empty space at the top of the cover, though, and the title is a bit small, so I'd recommend bumping the font size up to be more visible and fill that space better. Right now, the images catch the eye before the title, and it should probably be the reverse. Also, your name isn't on here. Give yourself credit! I see a perfect spot for your name, though. Right next to the two flags. It looks like that spot's just waiting for your name there. And you don't need "by" before your name. Just your name in a cute font in a shade of brown that works with the theme here would be fine. I would recommend keeping your name small so it doesn't distract from the title and the images, but just make sure it's big enough for the reader to see it.
First chapter: 7/10
Well, this is a cute little first chapter. I mean, Venky's side isn't that cute, but you don't delve into his painful situation heavily enough to make the tone of this chapter dark at all. I haven't seen dual perspectives done this way before with such frequent changes, but I like it. Prema and Venky's personalities are already coming through pretty clearly. You don't have the most flowery, elaborate descriptions, but when you specifically want the reader to know a certain detail, you make it clear with phrases like, "His jawline was sharp enough to cut paper." That's a great description right there.
