In My Opinion

Accidental Housemate by annabellacx

Full title: Accidental Housemate by annabellacx
Source: Feedback request
Genre: Romance
Mature: N (strong profanity)
Status: Ongoing (unpublished draft is complete)
English usage: UK
First impressions: 39/40
Digging deeper: pending
Final thoughts: pending

Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book.

*****

First impressions total: 39/40

Title: 10/10
Great title. It tells the reader exactly what they're looking for - a forced proximity situation, which probably leads most people to think this will be a romance story. Which it is. :)

Blurb/synopsis: 10/10
It's really rare for me to not find something wrong with a blurb, but you've pulled it off. You introduce each character with just enough details so the reader gets a feel for them but needs to read on to learn more, and you introduce the plot tension that the reader already guessed at from the title. Plus, you add a little mystery by telling us Dave knows Perrie from somewhere. That adds the hook that sets your book apart from other forced proximity romances.

I like the content warning, although specifying what kind of mature content would be helpful, since some readers are okay with certain mature topics and not okay with others. And, of course, check the Wattpad content guidelines to make sure your book doesn't need to be rated "Mature." If it doesn't, I'd just stick a note next to the content warning stating something about your book not being "mature" by Wattpad's standards, but you consider certain topics/themes to be mature, hence your warning without the "mature" rating.

Cover: 10/10
I love everything about this cover. The images, color scheme, font choice, size and placement - it just goes together so well. I get the impression the woman is overwhelmed or frustrated, which makes total sense with a title such as Accidental Housemate. The blurred background makes me think of kitchen cabinets, maybe, and possibly a laptop on the counter, but it doesn't really matter what's in the background. It just gives that homey feel that she's in her apartment/house, and maybe she's putting up her hair, or trying to calm herself in a difficult situation. The whites and tans all go together so well, and then you use a darker brown for the title with a cute curly font that adds a touch of whimsy, so we know good things are coming. Even your name at the bottom is perfect. It's white, but it still sticks out just enough against the background, and the font is sized perfectly to be visible but unobtrusive.

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 9/10
Intro: Very clean, very professional. I didn't listen to the text to audio, but it's a nice addition for readers who prefer listening to books or have a disability that makes listening easier than reading.

Chapter 1: All the emotions right away. First, we get hints about Perrie's painful past, which makes her positivity and hopefulness even brighter. Then we get uncertainty, which she brushes aside with the power of positive thinking. Until she hears the shower running, and that's when the tension really starts to rise. And I know she's not trying to be humorous, but her frantic thoughts about a robber breaking into her apartment and taking a shower amused me. Then we get heightened fear when Dave steps out of the bathroom, plus his shock and anger, and threats and harsh words thrown around while she ogles him - yep, it's all here. The attraction, the plot, the intro to the characters - although Dave isn't shown in the best light here, but, then again, who would be in a good mood if they stepped out of the shower to find a stranger in their apartment?

And your writing is really clean. There are some notes I put in the inline comments when I read this the first time, but they're mostly style suggestions. This is a great first chapter. You don't pull any punches, and you don't waste any time getting into the story. It's here, it's now, and it's moving.

*****

Digging deeper: pending