| | Indefinite Hiatus | |
I hope to return to this project someday, but it isn't feasible with my current health issues and life circumstances. I have to cut things from my workload so I can breathe. However, I still intend to complete my current li...
Source: Feedback request Genre: Romantic comedy Secondary/subgenre(s): Drama Mature: N (strong profanity) LGBTQIAP+: N Status: Ongoing First impressions: 31/40 Digging deeper: 80/100 Final thoughts: Incomplete (inactive since 05/25/2024)
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First impressions total: 31/40
Title: 10/10 I love a good fairytale. Yes. Immediate yes. :)
Blurb/synopsis: 7/10 There are some grammar errors here, but overall, this is a good blurb. I like the short, sweet version at the top for the people who just click on the cover and glance at it to see if they'll read more, and I like the more fleshed-out version at the bottom. And, of course, the content warning. I always love those. It's so annoying to sit down to read and then find out this isn't something you can enjoy, whether that happens immediately, or a few chapters in.
Although I do enjoy your book. But back to the blurb. ;)
Okay, so, short version at the top. First sentence after the comma, it should be "lots" of food, and then a comma after "food" would be nice, but it's not necessary. Next sentence, things "don't" go as planned, no comma, and it feels repetitive to say "matchmaking interview" and "blind date." You could probably just say "go on a blind date," and cut the rest of the sentence. That's the most important thing here. It tells us her parents are meddling, which implies they have an expectation that a serious relationship will come from this, and it tells us she doesn't know who they're setting her up with. Next sentence, it's more common to say "little did she know," and you don't need the comma after it.
Moving on into the longer blurb, there are a few phrases in the first sentence that you should actually hyphenate: "top-rated," "well-known," and maybe "event-planning," but I'm not confident about that one. In the next sentence, this isn't necessary or anything, but I think it would be a nice touch to add a hyphen before "except men" to emphasize how strongly she feels on that subject. Instead of "aka" in the next sentence, I'd just put a comma after "school," and you don't need the comma after "life."
Next paragraph, you don't need the comma in the first sentence. Instead of "the both" in the next sentence, it should just be "them," and you really don't need that little section between commas there at all. We can already guess something triggers unexpected things to happen. So, I'd just say, "...between them, and she tries..." and continue the rest of the sentence as written. No comma in the next sentence, and I'd just cut "or will she break it" from the next sentence. It's implied that her choice is to go along with this or try to break it up.
Next line, no comma after "ride," although you could put a comma after "surprises," but that's not necessary. And this line is so true. I laugh multiple times throughout every chapter.
