I'll Track You Down

Good as dead

Nye.

She's been murdered by a member of the Malgrave's team, or even the Malgrave himself. I cup her face in my hands, her face is ice cold. "Nye, please come back." I stroke her check, hoping to feel a sliver of warmth.

Her brown eyes are wide open, and her red hair is sprawled out in every direction. I lean in to her. For a second my heart stops beating.

Do I let the tears fall? It's been a while since I've felt them on my face, but they're tears of rage.

"Kalisa?" She weakly says, she takes a shaky breath and coughs up blood, it leaks from her mouth and trails down her chin.

"Yes, it's me." I say relieved. "Just stay still, everything will be okay." I hold her hand tightly in mine, and lift her back up supporting her with my arm.

"Kalisa, you were always such an amazing friend. . ." She chokes out. Her head, hands and her breath falls short.

"Wait! No! Nye, come back!" Her eyes roll back as she takes her last breath, her hand slips out of mine.

Did Malgrave know I'd come here, why didn't he just do it and let me find out about it? Wait,

He wanted me to see this.

Decker and half his team comes running around the corner with flashlights and medical support.

My eyes grow wide, I'm unable to move. A headache starts to grow, but my thoughts are so loud I can't even feel it, but then my heart catches up, it beats so loud I'm sure Decker can hear it.

Ringing in my ears, and the muffled sounds of voices, the honking of cars, it all blends together.
My only true friend is gone, she's dead.

I can feel Decker shaking my shoulders, but all I can do is stare at him. I can't move, I try to say, but my lips don't respond.

All I can do is lie there. Why would Malgrave kill her? He had nothing to gain! It doesn't make sense. That's when I stop myself, he's a mindless murder, it doesn't have to make sense. But there's got to be some kind of reason, she couldn't have died for nothing.

No, he killed her as a warning to me, as if to say, "back off".

The next thing I know, I'm being lifted in the air and carried off by strong arms, they place me on a soft surface and I begin to move. I don't know where I am, and I don't care.

I just stare mindlessly at the sky, soon the sky turns to the roof of an ambulance, then a ceiling. It isn't real, I tell myself, it can't be real.

How could he take her?! All I want to do is murder this man, I don't care what gets in the way.

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to confide in someone, anyone. If only my body would obey. If only. I feel my eyes grow heavy and I don't try to fight it, I let myself slip away into the darkness, thinking I'll be safe forever.

The darkness is a calm place, no disruptions, or distractions, no thought at all, just the passing of time.

How much time? I cannot say, maybe an hour, maybe a year?

I have no way of knowing and that's just fine with me. I'd rather not know things, I'd rather be shielded like a young child is, by its mother.

If only I knew what that was like. I'm so angry, and rightfully so, I want to stay angry for the rest of my life, and kill anyone who tries to stop me.

Oh Nye, why did you leave? Why did he have to kill you, just to get through to me? Who is next on your list you bastard?! Is it Caspian, that shithead?! Caspian, come save me like I tried to save you, and rid me of this cruel world.

I know you can do it. Anyone! Put a gun to my head and fire it! I dare you! What is of this wretched place so many call home, how do those who've survived misery move on?

Perhaps that's it, they don't. Am I doomed to a fate of nothingness for the rest of my days, maybe
I've already died.

The only thing here are my thoughts and I like it that way, I don't ever want to wake up. I let the darkness comfort me, and I wrap my arms around it and hold it close.

It embraces me with its warmth, wrapping me in a tight hug, so tight I can't breathe. I feel myself being suffocated, drifting down, down, down to never come back up again.