The Past Within - Mialotte - TNN

First (secret) girlfriend

TW: Menions of emotional and attempted physical abuse and self-harm

Based on a true story

In her next therapy session, Charlotte arrives with a mix of emotions. There's an undeniable glow about her, a brightness that Dr. Peterson, her therapist, immediately notices. As they settle into their familiar routine, Charlotte begins to talk about Mia, the woman who has become so much more than just a colleague or a flirtatious companion.

"Mia and I," Charlotte starts, a shy smile tugging at her lips, "we're officially girlfriends now."

Dr. Peterson nods encouragingly, sensing the joy radiating from Charlotte. "That's wonderful, Charlotte. How does it feel to say that out loud?"

Charlotte takes a moment to think, the smile on her face growing wider. "It feels... really good. Safe, even. Like I can finally be myself with someone who understands me. Mia makes me feel seen, and she doesn't judge me for my past or the things I'm still working through."

As she speaks, the warmth in her voice is palpable. But then, the conversation shifts and Charlotte's expression turns more serious. "There's something I've been thinking about a lot lately," she begins, her tone softer now. "It's about my first girlfriend, Cassy."

Dr Peterson leans in slightly, attentive to the change in Charlotte's demeanour. "Tell me about her," she gently prompts.

Charlotte exhales slowly as if releasing the weight of old memories. "Cassy and I were together when I was 17. It was my first real relationship, and it felt so intense, like nothing I'd ever experienced before. But it was a secret. I had to keep it hidden because I was terrified of how my mom would react if she found out."

"But then, things started to change." Her voice grows quieter, more subdued. "Cassy became... different. She started to control every aspect of my life. She'd tell me what I could wear, who I could talk to, and how I should spend my time. If I didn't do what she wanted, she'd get angry, and I'd end up apologizing, even when I hadn't done anything wrong."

Charlotte pauses, her eyes filling with emotion as she continues. "At first, I thought she was just being protective like she cared about me so much that she wanted to be involved in everything I did. But it wasn't that. It was like she needed to control me, to have power over me. And the worst part was, I felt like I couldn't leave. I was scared of being alone, scared of what my mom would say."

Dr. Peterson listens closely, her expression one of empathy and concern. "It sounds like Cassy's behaviour was deeply hurtful and damaging."

"It was," Charlotte admits, her voice trembling slightly. "She'd say things that made me doubt myself, made me feel like I wasn't good enough for anyone else. And after a while, I started to believe her. I started to believe that I deserved the way she treated me."

Tears begin to well up in Charlotte's eyes as she continues. "It all came to a head after a huge fight with my mom. She found out about Cassy, and she was furious. She said terrible things, things that made me feel ashamed of who I was. I felt so worthless like I had no control over my life. Cassy's control, my mom's anger... it all just became too much."

Dr. Peterson hands Charlotte a tissue, giving her a moment to compose herself. "It's understandable that these experiences would leave deep scars, Charlotte. The combination of Cassy's controlling behaviour and your mom's reaction must have been incredibly painful."

"It was," Charlotte whispers, wiping away her tears. "And it's something I still struggle with, even now. I'm trying so hard not to let it affect my relationship with Mia, but sometimes... sometimes I'm just so scared. Scared of being hurt again, scared of not being able to trust someone."