The Past Within - Mialotte - TNN

You aren't alone

The following week, Charlotte found herself back at work. She had been dreading the return, unsure if she was ready to face the routine again, but Marjorie had gently insisted she come back whenever she felt able. Marjorie had made a special effort to help Charlotte ease in, moving her from the baby room into the preschool room—a quiet, thoughtful gesture meant to help her avoid the reminders of her recent loss.

The preschool room was busier, noisier, and filled with energy, which was exactly what Charlotte needed, even though she wasn't quite herself yet. She spent the morning trying to keep her focus on the kids, but her mind wandered more often than she liked. At lunch, she sat alone in the staff room, nibbling on her sandwich but not really tasting it.

She was startled from her thoughts when she felt a presence next to her. She looked up to see Autumn, her face soft with concern.

"Hey," Autumn said quietly, taking a seat across from her.

"Hey," Charlotte replied, trying to muster a small smile. She appreciated that Autumn was giving her space, not pushing her to talk if she wasn't ready.

They sat in silence for a while before Autumn spoke again. "I just wanted to check in on you. I know it's not easy, being back after... everything."

Charlotte's eyes softened at Autumn's words. "Thanks. It's... hard, but being here helps in a way. Keeping busy, you know?"

Autumn nodded. "I get it. After we lost our baby... I didn't know what to do with myself either. Everything reminded me of what I didn't have. Work, home, and even little things like seeing a stroller. It felt like I couldn't escape it."

Charlotte's heart tightened at Autumn's words. She knew Autumn and Winter had lost a baby a few months ago, but they had rarely talked about it. Now, hearing Autumn mention it, Charlotte felt a connection to her in a way she hadn't before.

"How did you... get through it?" Charlotte asked softly, her voice trembling slightly.

Autumn looked at her, her expression gentle but thoughtful. "It wasn't easy. At first, it felt impossible, like we'd never get past it. Winter and I... we grieved in different ways. I withdrew a lot, and he tried to be strong for both of us. It took time, a lot of time, to learn how to be there for each other again. We went to therapy, talked when we were ready, and some days we didn't talk at all. We just sat in the grief together."

Charlotte listened closely, nodding slightly. "I feel like I haven't even processed it yet. I've just been... surviving, you know?"

Autumn reached across the table and placed her hand over Charlotte's. "That's normal. You're not expected to process something like this right away. It's a wound, and it'll take time to heal. You're not alone, Charlotte. You've got Mia, and you've got us."

Charlotte's throat tightened, and she blinked back tears. "Thank you. I keep trying to be strong for Mia, but I'm terrified. I haven't even asked her how she's feeling about it, and I feel so guilty."

Autumn's expression softened even more. "Mia loves you. She's there for you, but don't forget she's grieving too. It's okay to lean on each other, even when it's hard. It doesn't make you weak, and it doesn't mean you're failing."

Charlotte bit her lip, looking down at her hands. "It's just... I'm scared. I'm scared I'll never get past this."

Autumn squeezed her hand gently. "You will. It won't be easy, but you will. And even if you don't feel it right now, there will be good days again. You'll laugh again. You'll find joy again. It'll happen, little by little."

Charlotte nodded, her eyes filling with tears she couldn't hold back anymore. "How did you and Winter manage after... after you lost your baby? How did you stay strong together?"