Aliana Arceta
It's been almost one week since the nightmare happened. Araw-araw akong umiiyak, nalulunod ako sa takot at trauma dahil sa nangyari
Inaalagaan at iniingatan ko ang sarili ko ng ilang taon dahil gustong ibigay ang sarili ko sa taong mamahalin ko.
But Wise destroyed me, I feel completely lost. I was on the brink of ending my life because of her.
Everytime i remember what happened between us in that night, gusto kong magwala, sumigaw at saksakin ang sarili ko. How could she do this to me? dahil ba nasaktan ko siya noon kaya malakas ang loob niya na gawin sakin yun?
Mali ba na magpakatotoo ako sa nararamdaman ko, na hindi ko siya mahal kaya ko siya hiniwalayan? Is it because i left her, she want to revenge? sa ganitong paraan siya gumaganti?
What she did to me is unforgivable!
napahagulgol ako nang iyak habang hawak ko ang puting face towel na kinukuskos ko sa balat ko. Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko habang iniisip ang mga nangyari. Galit ako! Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko habang pigil ang paghinga ko. Halos magkasugat ang balat ko dahil sa matinding pagkuskos ng towel but i didn't mind the pain. I couldn't feel anything.
Napatingin ako sa pintuan. I heard two knocks coming from it. I didn't have the strength to get up. I didn't have the strength to speak. I didn't want to face people. Anyone, for that matter. I want to be alone, scared and anxious. My heart is pounding rapidly, feeling like there is danger. I tend to overthink everything. I am in a state of trauma.
Nakatulugan ko ang pag iyak. Nararamdaman ko ang banayad na haplos ng kamay sa buhok ko. Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face smiling at me. My eyes started to well up with tears again, and in that moment, I found myself embracing him.
"I was worried Aliana. What happened to you love?" Von asked.
"V-von" I mumbled his name.
I felt Von's warm body against mine as he hugged me. He was worried about me. I didn't want him to worry, but i need time to recover and stand up again.
I had considered ending my life after Muffy assaulted me. But if i were do that, I would lose everything that was important to me. I refuse to let her defeat me.
"Aliana, you can tell me everything. What bothering you love?"
Nahintuan ako habang nakatitig sa mga mata ni Von. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, he looked at me with worries in his eyes. If i were to tell him everything, it would cause a big scandal. It's possible that our relationship may end up ruined at siguradong hindi papayag ang family ni Von na ipakasal ang anak nila sa isang kagaya kong got played by his own step-sister. Hindi niya dapat malaman ang nangyari. I will keep this secret buried within me until my last breath.
"I will be fine, Von. I will, so please don't worry about me" naiiyak at pilit na ngiting sabi ko.
"Pero tatlong araw ka nang ganito, please tell me Aly, may nangyayari ba sayo na hindi maganda?"
I shook my head and smiled weakly at him. I drew even closer to him and caressed his cheeks. Von touched my cheeks too and attempted to kiss my lips. But suddenly, the incident that night popped up in my mind. I pushed Von away from me. Halatang nagulat at naguluhan siya sa ginawa ko kaya napayuko nalang sya at tumayo.
"I-im sorry Von" I uttered.
"It's okay, aalis muna ako. Later evening or tomorrow babalik ako rito" malungkod na sabi niya.
Tumango nalang ako sa tsaka siya naglakad palabas ng room ko, I remained sitting on my bed for about minute, contemplating everything. I shouldn't just stay like this. I need to fight these emotions. I have to stand firm and continue my life.
I stood up and walked until i reached the mirror, I looked at myself, gusto kong maiyak dahil kapag nakikita ko ang sarili ko pakoramdam ko I'm different. I am filled with disgust towards myself. Pero nangyari na.
Pagkatapos kong maligo, I chose a sophisticated black dress and put it on. I took my black handy small bag and wore my black pointed high heels. I apologize makeup to my face, then i stood up. But before leaving my room, I grabbed my perfume, Merveilles Hermès with a spicy seductive scent. I sprayed it a few times before finally stepping out of my room.
"Where are you going" my mom's ask with a worry face
"Outhere mom" matipid kong sagot
Nagsalita pa ulit si mommy, but o just ignored it and continued to wall through the main door.
Nang marating ko ang sasakyan ko. Sumakay ako at mabilis na pinaandar papunta sa bar kung saan si Muffy mahilig mag-chill at uminom. A few minutes of driving, nakarating ako dito sa bar pagpasok ko sa loob, everyone's eyes was on me. I raised my head and walked confidently towards the bar counter. I sat down on the stool chair and called the bartender to order some strong drinks.
"Make a martini for me, with a black olive on it" I told the bartender.
"Yes ma'am"
Agad syang kumilos at ginawa Ang drinks ko. As I watched the bartender mixing my martini. I heard a familiar voice somewhere, I turned around on the stool chair and spotted the person i was looking form there you are bitch!
"Ma'am here's your martini. Enjoy your drink" the bartender said after put my martini on the counter table.
"Cool..." I replied.
I took my martini and started to sipping it. Humuhot ako ng malalim na paghinga at agad na umakyat ang amoy ng alak sa nostril ko. Naiirita akong marinig na nakakatawa pa siya after what she did to me? Really, Wise? Inimom ko ang martini almost half of glass, then I put down the cash on the counter table.
I stood up and started walking towards her area, still holding my martini. She looked at me, and the smile quickly disappeared from her face. Tumayo rin siya at tila naghahantay na makarating ako sa pwesto niya, I didn't show any fear in my eyes, and I couldn't feel it either.
When I finally stood right in front of her, I took a sip of my martini. Just then, I splashed the martini directly onto her face. She was startled, but before she could react, I gave her two slaps on her face.
Maybe the wounds heald for a time, but the scars will remain forever.
