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Heeseung sat quietly in the corner of the practice room, staring at the mirror in front of him. His reflection stared back—tired, pale, with dark circles shadowing his eyes. His body ached from endless rehearsals, the strain of back-to-back schedules starting to take its toll. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, his breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps.
They had just finished another grueling practice for their upcoming comeback. Every day seemed harder than the last, and Heeseung—though he would never admit it—was beginning to feel the weight of his position as the eldest member of ENHYPEN pressing down on him.
The others had already left for the dorms, but Heeseung stayed behind, as he often did. He always pushed himself harder, telling himself it was because he had to set an example. He had to be perfect. He was the leader during I-LAND, the eldest now in the group, the one everyone looked to when things got tough.
But lately, even he was struggling to keep it all together.
His phone buzzed with another reminder of tomorrow's schedule. Another packed day of interviews, recordings, and more practice. He sighed deeply, his hands trembling slightly as he reached for his water bottle. He couldn't remember the last time he had a proper night's sleep. It was always something—an extra practice, a fan signing, or his own endless thoughts that kept him awake at night.
As he tried to stand, a sharp pain shot through his ankle, causing him to stumble. He had twisted it a few days ago during choreography practice but hadn’t told anyone. There was no time for injuries. No time to be weak.
Heeseung gritted his teeth, leaning against the mirrored wall for support. He closed his eyes, trying to focus through the pain, but the exhaustion was overwhelming. His body was betraying him, the fatigue more than just physical. His chest tightened as a familiar, unwelcome feeling crept up on him—a pressure that weighed heavily on his heart.
What if I’m not good enough?
The thought came unbidden, stabbing at him in the quiet of the empty practice room. He was supposed to be the strong one. The one everyone could rely on. But lately, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was slipping—missing steps in practice, making small mistakes in recordings. And every time he messed up, it felt like the world around him got a little heavier.
---
The next morning came far too soon. Heeseung barely got three hours of sleep before the alarm dragged him out of bed. His ankle still throbbed, but he pushed the pain aside, as he always did. The members were already bustling around the dorm, getting ready for the day ahead.
Heeseung plastered on a smile, hiding the exhaustion in his eyes as he greeted them. “Morning, guys,” he said, his voice steady despite the fatigue gnawing at him.
“Morning, hyung!” Jungwon smiled brightly, already full of energy despite the early hour. The others echoed his greeting, none of them noticing the slight limp in Heeseung’s step.
The day passed in a blur. Interviews. Photoshoots. Rehearsals. Each one felt longer than the last, and by the time they returned to the practice room in the evening, Heeseung was running on fumes.
---
It was during their final run-through of the choreography that things started to fall apart.
Heeseung had been holding it together all day, but as they moved through the intricate steps of their new routine, he felt his body betraying him. His movements became sluggish, his vision blurring at the edges. His ankle, which he had wrapped tightly to keep stable, screamed in pain with every step.
“Hyung, you okay?” Sunghoon asked, noticing the way Heeseung’s movements faltered.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Heeseung lied, forcing a smile. “Just tired.”
He pushed through the pain, ignoring the way his body screamed at him to stop. He couldn’t let the others down. Not when they were so close to their comeback. But as the music reached its peak, Heeseung’s legs buckled.
He stumbled hard, crashing to the floor with a sickening thud.
The music stopped abruptly, and the room fell into stunned silence. The members rushed to his side, panic flashing in their eyes.
“Heeseung-hyung!” Jake’s voice was filled with concern as he knelt beside him. “Are you okay?”
Heeseung’s heart raced as he tried to sit up, but the pain in his ankle flared, and he winced. “I’m fine,” he said again, though his voice was weaker this time.
“You’re not fine,” Sunghoon said, his brows furrowed in worry. “Why didn’t you say anything? You’ve been limping for days.”
Heeseung’s vision blurred as he tried to stand, but his legs gave out beneath him again. His breathing was shallow, the exhaustion finally catching up to him. His body refused to cooperate anymore.
Jungwon’s hand was on his shoulder, his usually calm expression clouded with concern. “Hyung, you’ve been pushing yourself too hard.”
“I’m supposed to…” Heeseung started, his voice shaking. “I’m supposed to be strong for you guys. I’m the oldest, I can’t… I can’t mess up.”
Jay shook his head, his expression unreadable as he helped Heeseung sit back down. “Hyung, we’re a team. You don’t have to carry all of this alone.”
The words hit Heeseung harder than he expected. He felt a lump forming in his throat, but he forced the tears back, refusing to let them fall in front of the members. He couldn’t show weakness. Not now.
“You’re not alone,” Ni-Ki said softly, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “We’re all here for you.”
Heeseung bit his lip, his eyes burning with unshed tears. For so long, he had felt like the weight of the group was on his shoulders—that he had to be perfect, that he had to hold it together for everyone else. But hearing the concern in their voices, seeing the worry in their eyes, he realized how wrong he had been.
He wasn’t alone.
The pressure that had been crushing him for months suddenly felt lighter. His body still ached, and his ankle throbbed painfully, but the heavy burden he had been carrying in his heart began to lift.
“Sorry,” Heeseung whispered, his voice cracking. “I didn’t want you guys to worry.”
Jungwon crouched down beside him, his hand still resting on Heeseung’s shoulder. “You don’t have to apologize, hyung. We’re worried because we care. You’re not just our leader—you’re our brother.”
For the first time in what felt like forever, Heeseung let the tears fall. They weren’t tears of failure or exhaustion, but of relief. He didn’t have to be perfect all the time. He didn’t have to carry the weight of the world on his own.
The members stayed by his side, offering their silent support, and for the first time in a long time, Heeseung allowed himself to lean on them.
---
That night, Heeseung lay in bed, his ankle wrapped in ice and elevated on a pillow. The other members had insisted he rest while they handled the rest of practice. He had protested at first, but their concern had been unwavering.
As he lay there, staring up at the ceiling, Heeseung realized something important—being the eldest didn’t mean he had to be the strongest. It didn’t mean he had to carry everything on his own.
He had his team. He had his family.
And together, they could carry the weight of ENHYPEN.
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**End.**
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