All you need is love

Soundcheck

I woke up and noticed that I was still in jay's arms and I slowly got up so that I wouldn't wake him. I took a shower and when I came out I noticed that jay was awake.

'Good morning,' I said with a smile. He smiled and asked about breakfast. We went over to Jamie's ' house to eat since my mum had made all of us breakfast.

'We have a quick performance today,' Jay said when we were eating.

'We do?' jamie asked. Sometimes he was just so clueless as to what was happening.

'Yeah, it is at 5PM and we need to be there at 3 for a sound check and everything,' he said.

'Can Mia and me watch it?' I asked, knowing that Mia would love to see them perform again.

'Of course, I can just call our manager and ask him for 2 tickets,' dan said.

I didn't have anything but juice for breakfast and just as I was leaving Ian said my name.

'Yeah,' I asked.

'Please eat more,' he said.

'No, I'm not hungry,' I said.

'That is the problem. You are NEVER hungry. You never eat. You need to eat,' he said.

'You can't fucking control my life. I can eat however much I want and I am eating enough!' I said raising my voice a bit.

'No you don't! That is why you fainted when I first saw you again. The doctor even said so! Just eat more and I will leave you alone,' ian said raising his voice too.

'Calm down guys,' mom butted in. She hated it when we fought and I knew this was no exception.

'Yeah, I am just not hungry,' I said while turning around to leave. I heard Ian get up from his chair and soon felt his hand on my arm.

'What?' I snapped.

'Just eat something!' he said pulling me back to the table.

'No I told you I'm not hungry! Just let go! Ow!' I said. I could feel my arm being squeezed by his hand and it was starting to hurt.

'! LET GO!' I said more harshly.

'NO! NOT UNTIL YOU EAT!' Ian said pulling me back to the table. He knew that I had eaten a little at dinner yesterday and not much at lunch.

'I SAID I AM NOT HUNGRY!' I said.

'YOU AREN'T FUCKING FAT SO JUST EAT YOU PRICK!' he yelled.

'Just fucking let go!' I screamed before yanking my hand away and running out. I had tears flowing down my face but I didn't care.

I ran out of the' house and went into jay's house. I went onto his balcony and just sat there for a few minutes until I heard someone behind me.

'You okay?' Jay said.

'Yeah, I guess so,' I said while whipping away the rest of my tears.

'Can I sit?' he asked.

'Of course.'

'You know he didn't mean it right,' he said.

'Yes he did. I feel like all he ever does is try and make me fatter and fatter,' I said.

'He is just worried about you. He has a right to be. You never eat around us and you get faint often. Both of us pretend we don't notice but we do. We notice when your face becomes pale and you excuse yourself to sit down for a while. I can't pretend I don't notice it anymore and I have a feeling that Ian doesn't want to either.'

'I'm sorry. I didn't know you knew,' I said.

'Of course I know. I just don't get why you are insecure. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. You couldn't be more perfect. You definitely aren't over-weight so you should eat before your health is in more danger than it already it,' he explained.

I didn't realize that they knew about how I got dizzy often. I thought that I was subtle enough about it. I guess I wasn't. I would need to be more careful.

'Look, I know you can't stop not eating all of a sudden, but just promise me you will try to eat more,' Jay said looking at me straight in the eyes.

'I guess so,' I said. I didn't want him to know how truly insecure I was about myself. Every time I ate I felt like I was becoming more and more fat and I hated it. I was willing to try though. For my brothers For everyone.