All you need is love

Twitcam

'WAKE UPPP UP UPPPPPPPPPPP!' a voice was singing VERY loudly while jumping on my bed.

'What?' I said while rolling over and seeing that it was Ian.

'We are going SHOPPING,' ian said while continuing jumping.

'Okay, just stop jumping and yelling,' I said.

'Fine,' he said while sitting down.

'So are you ready to go,' he said.

'I woke up like one minute ago, I'll come to your place in an hour okay,' I said.

'But I can't wait an hour,' he pouted.

'Well you will have to, so go away before you wake Mia up, if she isn't already up,' I said. Just then, Mia walked in the door while rubbing her eyes.

'What is with all of the noise,' she said while looking at me. I just pointed to Ian and she sighed and went to get breakfast.

'Bye Ian,' I said while getting up and pushing him out the door. I took a shower and changed into some clothes that would be okay to wear while shopping. (Outfit above) I went into the kitchen and had some breakfast and started my makeup and hair when he walked in...again

'Are you ready yet,' Ian asked impatiently.

', it has been 40 minutes since you were here. An hour means 60 minutes,' I said.

'Come on... hurry up. You look fine already, can we just go,' he nagged.

'Fine, just let me finish putting my mascara on,' I said.

'Girls and their makeup,' he said before sitting down onto the new couch.

'Okay, I'm ready,' I said and I grabbed my bag and we went out to go shopping.

There were a few fans that came up and asked Ian for his autograph, and a few looked at me rudely. One even called me a whore, but Ian stopped her before she continued and didn't end up taking a photo with her or signing anything for her.

I went back to my flat after shopping with Ian and Mia was out applying for some jobs. She said she would be back late, and it was only 5 now.

I opened twitter and tweeted a hello. I got lots of mentions right away and I thought I would do a twitcam for the fans.

'Hey guys,' I said into the camera.

'So what's up?' I asked. I read out some answers and then I started answering some questions when one tweet caught my eye.

Whore. You are doing this for attention you little slut.

I just took a deep breath and kept scrolling. Similar ones were coming up and soon I felt a bit dizzy. I never took hate well.

Are you okay?

Someone tweeted that.

'I'm fine guys, just a bit dizzy. I am going to get some water okay,' I said while leaving my computer open and going to the kitchen. I had poured myself some water and come back tot eh computer when I blacked out.

'Caitlin, Caitlin,' a frantic jay said when he opened the door.

I looked around and sat down onto the chair in front of the computer.

'Are you okay cait? I opened twitter and a bunch of fans were telling me you passed out on twitcam,' he said while coming over and sitting down beside me.

'Uh, yeah, I'm okay,' I said.

'Have you been eating? You are keeping your promise right?' Jay said while looking at me in the eyes.

'Yeah, I mean I think I am,' I said, still a bit confused.

'When did you last eat?' Jay asked.

'Um, breakfast? Wait I had a hamburger when I was out with mia and Ian earlier,' I said.

'Okay, have you been getting flashbacks again?' Jay quizzed.

'No, not for a while,' I said.

'You know, I am so glad that you are eating again,' he said.

'I know,' I said looking down feeling a bit guilty.

'Caitlin, are you hiding something from me?' he asked.

I ran my fingers over the material on my inner thigh. I knew I had said I didn't anymore, and at the time I didn't. All of the fans were just over-whelming at times and I seeked that feeling when the blade hits your skin. You forget about everything else in the world. I forget about the hate. I forget about my body. I forget about the rape.

'Caitlin,' Jay said a bit more strictly.

He looked down to where my hand was and a flash of recognition crossed his face.

'I thought you said you stopped?' he said.

'I did, but it was too tempting. All the hate, the memories from years ago would all disappear when I cut,' I said.

Wait. The twitcam was still on.

'oh my gof, the twitcam is on,' I said while turning to the computer. A look of panic showed up on jay's face. 20,000 people had just heard that. More would see it when it is posted on YouTube later. The fans had heard everything.