The Feral Mate

Chapter 71

No one noticed me at first, my movement must have caught Pasha’s attention, he looked up and spotted me, he started to walk towards me, that’s when Atlas saw me, she ran full speed passed Pasha, she was like an unstoppable train, when she finally got to me, she slapped me across the face, a lot harder than when Petra did it “how dare you leave us after River died” slap “your a fucking prick for abandoning your pup, you son of a bitch” slap “you have been gone for nearly six months” slap, six months? I stood there and ley her hit me, it's the least, she could have done, I can not believe that it's six months, it only felt like it was only a few weeks at most.

“Atlas, stop, he is still out True Alpha” “he abandoned us all” Atlas said as she started crying “he was hurting” “wasn’t we all? We all lost River, not just him” “Atlas, stop and think, this isn’t the first mate he has lost, what made you finally come home?” Pasha said as he comforted Atlas, “River told me to” “but she’s...” “Dead, yeah, I know” I interrupted him, “I was in denial on her passing so I went looking for her, I heard her talk to me in my head the other week, she told me to come home, I'm ashamed, I've screwed everything up big time, haven’t I?” “We all have been waiting for you to come home, Koza and I have been running the pack in your stead, Petra and a few other Lycan’s have gone over to the Long Claw pack, you killed their True Alpha, that makes you there True Alpha” “stop talking about pack business, come, let me take you to your son”.

She took my hand and let me back to where the pups were, Asha was feeding Okami as Robin was feeding Skoll, Reed and Harvi were eating apple slices.

“Asha, please can you let Huxley hold Okami” Pasha said, “no, not yet, let Asha finish feeding him first” tears running down my cheeks, Okami was getting big and I've missed it, I missed it following a dream for finding River.

I fell to my knees in front of Asha, not being able to control my tears, Okami was so big yet so small, I wanted to hold him so bad but I also felt like I shouldn’t, like Atlas said, I abandoned everyone.

Atlas sat next to me, holding my hand as I waited, Pasha grabbed me a top to put on, I cried as I watched him, “would you like to hold Okami now?” Asha said, I just nodded, I sat on the floor and held my arms out, Asha gently put Okami in my arms, so many different emotions ran through me all at once, it over whelmed me, my body started shaking, “calm down Huxley, don’t shift here” Pasha said worried, “I won’t, I will never hurt this little thing in my arms” I said kissing his head, Okami’s hand touched my face “sorry little one, Daddy’s here and I'm not going anywhere, ever again”.

I sat outside with them for a little while when we heard “Huxley, your back” Koza shouted, I stood up and turned to him, he started running towards me, “please don’t hit me with Okami in my arms, please do it later” “why would I hit you? I’m just glad that you are home” Koza said as he hugged me with Okami in the middle, “if you ever needed someone to talk to, I'm here, I know what you are going through with losing a mate” “I don’t really want to talk about anything at the moment, my head is still trying to proses everything, I’m getting a little over whelmed” “take all the time that you need, you're not planning on running off again?” “no, I’m staying for good this time”.

We stayed outside a little while longer as Okami slept in my arms, his little body warm against me, I just watched him sleep, he looked so peaceful, I could feel my eyes welling up again, “I’m going to take Okami up to bed to sleep” I quickly got up and headed towards the house, with my return there were a few other Lycan’s gathered around us, I didn’t want everyone to keep seeing me cry.

I stood outside the room the I shared with River, not wanting to go inside, I could change room but I also didn’t want anyone to have this room, I took a deep breath, opened the door and walked in.

The room looked exactly how we left it that morning, the only thing that was missing was Okami’s cot, the room looked clean and smelt nice, someone must have come in and cleaned, River was never the one to keep anything tidy but it was always clean.

I laid a still sleeping Okami down on the bed, “you sleep a lot, just like your mother, River was a wonderful Lycan, she loved everyone and everyone loved her, I loved her the most... I..." couldn’t finish my sentence, I dropped to my knees and ugly cried, how I didn’t wake the pup up I don’t know.

Images of River flooded my head, all of the good times and the bad, all the way back to when she first came into my room, if she didn't would I be still in there? Would of another Lycan come in and saved me like she did? Would I of loved her like I loved River?