The Feral Mate

Chapter 72

I think I've cried more today than I've ever have in my whole life, there was a knock at the door, I made no effort to answer it “Huxley, I've brought some of Okami’s things, Pasha will bring his cot back later” Atlas said opening the door and walking in, she saw me kneeling on the floor crying, again and quickly came over to me, putting her arms around me, “why? Why did it have to be her? What do I do now without her? I’m lost, I don’t know if I can do it without her” I sobbed “Huxley, I don’t know what you are going through but you are not alone in this, Pasha and I are here, we are only across the hall, Koza is here also, he has been besides himself with worry, since you ran away from the Long Claw pack, he goes out every weekend looking for you, none of us ever lost hope that you would return to us, to Okami” I didn’t say anything, she just let me cry in her arms.

There was another knock at the door, this time it was Pasha and Skoll, “I really want to crack a joke but I don’t think that this is the right time, I’m so sorry for your loss Huxley, we all lost someone that we dearly loved” Pasha said crouching next to me and putting his free arm over me, I reached up and took Skoll’s little hand in mine, “would you like us to watch Okami so you can get some rest? You said that you have been running for a long time, trying to get home” Atlas offered “I think you both have done enough for me, I need to step up and be the best father to Okami and leader of the pack” “we all have waited for you this long, one more day will not hurt” Atlas said, “ok, let me rest for just a few hours, at dinner, I will address everyone” “sounds like a plan” Atlas said letting me go and gently picking up Okami.

They all left the room, my heart was shattered into a million pieces, I didn’t think there were any more tears to cry but when I got into bed, tears streamed down my face, I noticed a box on the dresser that was all wrapped up, that was the present that I had got River for after the party, it was a silly gift that I knew she would like and I would like more, I got back out of bed and opened the box, it was a pair of fluffy PJ’s, I held them tight as I got back into bed, cried myself to sleep with exhaustion.

When I finally woke, still holding onto the fluffy PJ’s, it was dark outside, “shit, I better get down to the dining hall” I said to myself, getting out of bed and going into the bathroom, I looked myself in the mirror, “wow, I look a mess” I washed my face and changed my clothes, I left the room and headed towards the dining hall.

Everyone was sat waiting for me, talking away like it was a normal day, I suppose they have had six months to grieve over River, where Ive not long come two terms with her death.

I took a deep breath and walked in the dining hall; I didn’t know what I was going to say to these Lycan’s, I abandoned this pack to kill another, the room fell silent at first, then the room erupted into cheering, it made me smile a little that they waited for me to return but also guilty for making them wait in the first place.

“Evening everyone, you all know who I am” “you are our True Alpha” Reggie shouted from the back, “that I am, but I stand before you ashamed for what I became after... River’s death, I should have never reacted like that, there is no excuse for my leaving the pack for six months without a single word, I was blinded by rage, then... I went looking for her, I refused that she was dead, I know this is going to sound like I'm losing it but... I heard her talk to me, she told me that she was really gone and was never going to come back and for me to come home, I'm ashamed to stand her in front of you all to ask for your forgiveness, again”.

The room fell silent again, then Brax stood up and said “I think I can safely say this for everyone in this pack, we will and always will forgive you, you are our True Alpha, we all miss River, she touched all of our lives, you are back now and we all can start to rebuild, I didn’t know River very long but she was like a daughter to me, I wanted to teach her more things around the farm that she wanted to learn, now I can’t do that, but you have Okami, if he wants to know, I will teach him everything that he wants, I will treat him like he is my very own grandson” “thank you Brax, that’s very nice to hear” here we go again, the tears stung my eyes “I didn’t want to get emotional in front of you all but I really miss her, please give me a little time to grieve before I get back into the office, please excuse me” I left the dining hall crying.

I didn’t go upstairs, I headed outside, hoping the fresh cold air would clear my head.

“Sorry, Huxley, I know you want a moment to compose yourself but Okami is getting fussy, since he heard your voice in the dining hall, he want’s you” Pasha said with a wrapped up Okami, crying, “it’s ok, hand him here, I've missed nearly six months of cuddles”.

Pasha passed Okami over to me, the crying instantly stopped crying, “defiantly a Daddies boy” Pasha laughed as he was about to leave, “Pasha, wait, it must be hard on you to, you lost your best friend, you knew her the longest, a long time before I came into the picture, I can’t help but think that she would still be alive if she didn’t come into my room that night, she would have lived a long and happy life without all the drama that has come with me” “then she would of been another one of Victor’s victims, I like to think I knew her very well over the last 10 years, I can honestly tell you that this was the happiest I've ever seen her, you did that, she would choose you every time, I couldn’t imagen anyone else being her mate, well other than me of cores” he laughed.

“I know that life will be hard now that River isn’t here anymore but stay strong, we all will support you in anything that you may need, we will follow you, look, Okami has stopped crying and had calmed down now that he is with you” I looked down at his little face that was looking back up at me, smiling, here come the tears again, “I really need to stop all this crying” I said wiping them away, “leave all the crying to me” Pasha said wiping his own tears away as he left me to go back into the house, “come on little one, let’s take you inside where it’s warm”.

Okami slept in the bed with me, well he slept and I watched, I was worried that this was just a crawl dream and I was still injured in the woods.

When morning came, I was awoken by someone touching my face, I opened my eyes and Okami’s smiling face, melted my broken heart, “morning my sweet pup, you hungry?” he let out a giggle as he squeezed my cheek, ‘I think this little Lycan can fix our broken heart’ Titan said, I can still hear the pain in his voice, ‘we will never see River and Opal in this life, but we will find them in the next and the one after that and the one after that, this little pup there, is her last gift from her to us, we need to take the best care of him for her’ ‘until we meet again my love’ Titan cried, I tried to hold mine back but a few fell.