Team8s and Counting

146. Becoming Who We Are

It was the day before Bladey's 7th birthday. Bladey had been jumping up and down in her room, excited for what tomorrow would bring.

"Did you get me presents, mommies?" Bladey asked her parents with big eyes.

"Of course we did!" Saw exclaimed. "It's your special day tomorrow!"

"I can't wait to be seven years old!" Bladey exclaimed.

"I know, it's exciting Bladey!" Gaty said, trying to calm down the energetic young girl. "It's hard to believe that seven years ago, you were in Mommy's tummy, just waiting for you to make your grand entrance!"

"I hope I made a good grand entrance!" Bladey said proudly.

"Oh trust me, it was quite grand," Saw said, remembering the events that led up to her birth, "Although I would have preferred if you didn't try to make your grand entrance right when I was teaching, mommy and I were very thankful to make it to the hospital before you came!"

"Well I'm sorry Mommy, but how was I supposed to know that you were at work! It's not like I could see anything!"

Gaty and Saw let out a soft chuckle. "It's true, Bladey," Gaty said. "Thankfully, all said and done, we were so happy that you finally made it here safely, and that's all that mattered to us."

Bladey looked between Gaty and Saw, her eye's eventually fixating on Gaty. She always had a question to ask her, but she never really felt like there was a good time to do so until now.

"Mommy?" Bladey asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

Gaty smiled, "Yes sweetheart?"

Bladey looked up at the ceiling, before eventually looking back down at Gaty, "Why was I in Mommy's tummy and not yours?"

Gaty froze for a minute. She had never expected Bladey to ask a question like this, although she should have probably expected it one day given her curious nature. She didn't know how to answer it, but thankfully, Saw intervened.

"It's because...Mommy was too scared to have you in your tummy!" Saw said, trying to hide her nervous expression. "Having a baby inside of you was...quite the experience."

Bladey accepted the response, although she was sure that there was a more complicated answer. "Oh...okay then."

"We'll be downstairs." Gaty said, trying to exit the situation, "Let Mommy or I know if you have any last minute birthday wishes!"

Gaty and Saw headed downstairs, making sure Bladey couldn't hear them. Once they knew they were in the clear, Gaty sighed, not a fan of how she handled that conversation. "I really don't like lying to her, Saw, you know."

Saw tilted her head, "Well, is it really a lie? Let me tell you, there were some very scary moments during my pregnancy."

Gaty sat down on the couch, leaning her head back. "Honestly...I would have loved to experience pregnancy...even with the scary moments...if only I could."

Saw sat down next to her, seeing that she was clearly in a tough position. "You know...she's getting older, maybe it's about time you start telling her about your identity."

Gaty took a shaky breath. "It's not that she's not ready...I'm not ready, Saw. It's been a while since I've really come out to someone...it never really crossed my mind that I would have to come out to my own daughter."

Saw looked down at her lap, understanding the weight of the situation. "I get it, Gaty. It's a lot to take in, but Bladey's growing up, and she's curious. I don't think it'll be long before she starts asking more questions that we can't brush off with simple answers. You're her mom, and she deserves to know who you really are, just like you deserve to live your truth."