X-Men Oneshots

Song Series (Hank McCoy)

Based on the song: I Love You, I'm Sorry by Gracie Abrams 

It had been two years since the argument. Two Augusts ago, everything fell apart, and Hank remembered every detail as if it were yesterday—the tension in the air, the way your voice wavered when you told him you were done, and the way his chest felt heavy with regret before you even walked away.

You had come to him that night, hoping for honesty, hoping for something more than the quiet avoidance he'd been giving you. Hank, in his usual way, had tried to protect you from the uglier parts of himself. But you were tired of being protected. You wanted truth, and he had finally given it to you.

**"Two Augusts ago

I told the truth
Oh, but you didn't like it
You went home
You're in your Benz, I'm by the gate"**

He hadn't expected the truth to hurt so much. As you drove off in your car, Hank stood by the gate, watching the tail lights fade into the distance. You were gone, and he was left standing there, unsure if he had made the right choice by letting you go. You needed space, you had said, and Hank, in his usual fashion, had given it to you. But it didn't make the emptiness any easier to bear.

Now, you went about your life, charming everyone around you with that effortless grace Hank had always admired. You were successful, training others and climbing higher in your career, while Hank remained in the lab, working, as always. He meant well, but he knew his own limitations. He couldn't give you what you needed, not back then.

**"Now you go alone

Charm all the people you train for
You mean well, but aim low
And I'll make it known
Like I'm getting paid"**

He chuckled bitterly at the thought, knowing that he had been too focused on himself. That had always been his problem, hadn't it? Hank had tried to justify his actions, his distance, but in the end, he knew it had been about him. His fears, his insecurities. They had come between you, driving you away.

He slammed the metaphorical door on that chapter of his life, as he had with so many others, but no matter how many doors he closed, this one always found a way to stay cracked open.

**"That's just the way life goes

I like to slam doors closed
Trust me, I know it's always about me
I love you, I'm sorry"**

Two summers from now, maybe things would be different. You'd both move on, you'd say hello from time to time, cool and distant but not bitter. You'd have your life, and he'd have his. Maybe one day, you'd be on a plane while he sat on a boat, both of you going your separate ways but somehow ending up in the same place. That was life, wasn't it? Moving in parallel lines that never really met again.

**"Two summers from now

We'll have been talking
But not all that often
We're cool now
I'll be on a boat and you're on a plane
Going somewhere same"**

He imagined it—him, sitting by the water with a drink in hand, staring at the sunset on the lake, wondering if you were watching the same sun from wherever you were. The feeling was surreal, like the world wasn't quite real anymore, but Hank had learned to live with that. It was okay, he told himself. This was just the way things went.

**"And I'll have a drink

Wistfully lean out my window
And watch the sun set on the lake
I might not feel real but it's okay"**

Life went on, even when you weren't there beside him. It was strange, learning to live without you. Sometimes he felt like he was pushing his luck, like every day without reaching out to you was another gamble he didn't know if he'd win. You hadn't sent anyone to drag him back into your life or to confront him about his silence, and for that, Hank was thankful. You had moved on, and he didn't blame you for it. Still, he couldn't shake the regret.

**"'Cause that's just the way life goes

I push my luck, it shows
Thankful you don't send someone to kill me
I love you, I'm sorry"**

You had been the best thing in his life. But you were also the hardest. Loving you had been complicated, difficult, but it had been worth it. You were the first person he had truly opened up to, and he had ruined it. Hank knew that. As much as he had tried to avoid responsibility, he couldn't escape the fact that it had been him who pushed you away.

**"You were the best, but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first
I was a dick, it is what it is
A habit to kick, the age-old curse"**

He had a habit of laughing when things went wrong, a coping mechanism he'd developed over years of watching disaster after disaster unfold in front of him. Even when he was sad, Hank would laugh—especially at the wreckage of what had once been good. And maybe that's why, when he thought about how he had lost you, a bitter smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

**"I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad

I stare at the crash, it actually works
Making amends
This shit never ends
I'm wrong again
Wrong again"**

Driving down the road you once shared, Hank felt the memories rush back like a wave crashing against the shore. Joyriding through the moments you had together, he couldn't help but lean on the horn, as if the noise would somehow drown out the ghosts that haunted him. But they were always there, lingering in the places where your laughter once filled the air.

**"The way life goes

Joyriding down our road
Lay on the horn
To prove that it haunts me
I love you, I'm sorry"**

In the end, Hank wished he could speak in code—hide the truth from himself, pretend that it didn't still hurt. But he knew it would always be about you, about what he had lost. He wanted to be selfish, to ask for your forgiveness, for another chance, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't deserve it.

**"The way life goes

I wanna speak in code
Hope that I don't
Won't make it about me
I love you, I'm sorry"**

And so, he let the memories live in the silence, echoing in the spaces you used to fill, knowing that no apology would ever be enough to bring you back.